It didn’t take long for me to be dragged around as the novelty I was. During the evening, walking around the palace with the company of the three oddballs - that is, of course, Arsamira and co. - we landed upon the library, that, as any proper nerd, I was rather excited to see. Beautifully carved doors that were opened with an equally gorgeous key, the smell of paper, wood, and ink. I had never been in a dreamy library like the ones in movies and series, with ancient books holding secrets worth unraveling. It was enough to shake my heart, for as reality hit, so did the fantasy.

Mizuen took the first step in, and we all followed behind. I didn’t notice back then, but now I know they were looking at me; I was too busy being fascinated by the silky-looking chairs and the mythical ambience, by the high ceilings covered in potted plants and the strangely closed bookshelves covered in various runes. Moved around by Daien’s hand, we sat down in front of a window. They dropped some notebooks on the table, Arsamira still directing his curious smile at me. It felt like getting ready for an interrogation, now that I think about it.

- “Well, you see…The prince wanted to talk to you….” – Mizuen looked apologetic as he opened his notebook.

Arsamira checked his own - apparently, they had a small meeting yesterday to prepare for this, or so it seemed by the notes scattered around the pages. The prince read out loud.

- “I am sorry. For not visiting. Yesterday.” – Stiff, almost awkward. Yet, he managed to talk with a smile. – “I got scolded. So I could not go.”

- “Ah- It’s fine. I’m sorry I caused you so much trouble.” – What was I apologizing for, though!? I’m the one who got dragged into this!

Once the trivialities were settled in - and we got the snacks out - their curiosity decided to join the meeting, too. I guess it was natural to want to know about my world. But I wasn’t expecting-

- “…Can I touch your hair?”

- “…Excuse me?”

- “Ah. The prince asked since…Black hair is an unknown sight. People from our lands don’t have black hair.”

So that was why the Queen held it, I understood.

I took one of my long strands and nodded; suddenly, all three of them were over me brushing it. It felt soft… Soft and comforting, how careful they were. Like a soft massage that I couldn’t run away from, in the tranquil ambience of a spring noon, sunshine and fresh air surrounding us. The inevitably comfy. Sooner than later I felt too relaxed… and started to drift asleep. I didn’t get a good rest the previous night, so it wasn’t surprising. But what was actually surprising was that they just let me sleep there, dreaming of the comments they made when I was off.

“It reminds me of Master,” or, “it’s softer than it looked.” Things I vaguely remember now, but it seemed like they had fun.

I woke up as the sun was starting to set. Mizuen, by my side, was reading a book with a soft smile on him. He didn’t notice I was awake at first, so he jumped when he felt me reading over his shoulder. I had noticed it was in English - which was, well, kind of shocking. Being in another world and all.

- “Ah-! M-Mister…Von…You are awake-”

- “Good…evening, is it? Sorry for startling you - you were so focused, I didn’t want to bother.”

- “Is no problem! I was waiting for you to wake up anyways! Huh… Ehm…” – With that doubt in his tone, I remembered what I was taken there for. Holding my arm, looking away, apologetic, I didn’t know if I should have laughed it out or felt guilty. I really fell asleep back then huh... That was embarrassing for an adult.

- “Oh right. Sorry- uhh... Sorry for earlier. You can ask now if you want.”

- “Hm?”

- “Ah- I fell asleep while you all wanted to ask stuff, so I guess you have some things you are still curious about?”

- “It’s…that’s alright- It’s no problem, do not worry-”

- “I already said it was okay. It’s no trouble. I might be here for a while, talking about my world helps with the anxiety.” – I laughed internally.

- “Then… Huh… About this book. It’s a book my master left for me. He said originally in your world this was considered fantasy, but that later on it became scien- scies- science fiction. That the things became possible.”

- “Oh- That’s Around the World in Eighty Days. A Jules Verne book. I loved those when I was a kid-!” – It was a surprise to find such a book in another world, I got overexcited, aight! So much so that it was a few seconds til’ it hit me. – “…Your master had this book?”

- “Yes, he also came from another world. But- But he came here himself. He is the one who teach…teached…taught- me the spell we used to bring you, actually. My master… he was a really powerful mage, the reason we were able to keep our peace for long was his presence. He bought…No, no- brought- brought? strange magic and sorcery, unknown knowledge and traditions… And he taught me his language so I could read of them.” – He spoke so fondly of this master of his, going on and on about the impact he made. It seemed that more than wanting to ask something, he just wanted to tell me about him. Probably because - “…you remind me of him.”

- “O…Oh.”

- “Ah- I mean… It’s probably just that you both come from another world and have black hair. Is it a common thing outside here?”

- “Pretty common, probably.”

At that moment, I began to feel the eyes of the servants twice as much in my memories. Suddenly I was competing. Competing against their expectation, against their assumptions that I was, also, a game changer. I laughed before speaking again.

- “I’m a useless drop-out with no ambition. Please don’t think highly of me.”

His dumbfounded face was incredibly satisfying, so I kept laughing for a bit. It was nice to be able to talk to someone like this.

The day went on as expected. We had to get a meal directly from the kitchen after missing lunch, which, of course, led to a quick meeting with the chef. Thank the gods Mizuen seems to get along with all the servants. We went back to the library, where I told him about the places in Verne’s book and, also, the vague knowledge I had of how the things it proposed became possible. Good thing about being a writer, even as a hobby - you learn a lot of really specific trivia. Like, that mountain goats are not goats, but still of the caprinae. – Oh, and, he also taught me more about their world.

Even if I still couldn’t get a hold of reality, I still had fun. We had a dumb little chat about how certain accents sound a bit silly, and that apparently a region in this world also has a silly accent. To know that this world was as complete as mine… It was truly real, wasn’t it…?

It is.

Night was something else. I still couldn’t sleep properly, so I found myself staring at the sky to try and find peace. The ordeal had settled down, so I was left wondering… If I was missed as much as I missed those I loved. I wondered if my cat missed the daily raw shrimp, or if my friends noticed I hadn’t answered their messages. I wondered… I wonder. I still wonder if my mom was lonely that day. If she’s lonely now. I wonder if they are looking for me, or if they moved on. I don’t know which would let my heart settle better… The hope of returning is fading away.

I started thinking about my life, that night. About my childhood friend, Callie. About my sis. About my mom and my grandma. About my ex, even. Maybe I was looking for a guide…For a quote…For anything that could tell me “this is your destiny.” I relived memories of their words and actions in my head over and over again, wondering what was I doing, why I was there. But there was nothing. I had never been someone special, and the light of innocence faded long ago. I had no foretold quest, no clues, no lantern to guide my path.

I had nothing to prepare me for this.

Once again, I was lost in life. That calmed me down, in a way.

It was not the first time I was lost, and it wasn’t going to be the last, either. But I survived this far, so all was going to be fine.

I went to sleep with that hope as a lullaby.