Gaysus Christ finally, none of that parental talk to annoy me.

I climb up the stairs to what now felt like a heavenly place as the demons had moved too the bottom. My feet finally reach the top and I focus my thoughts.

Ok I need to: brush my teeth, get changed into my uniform and check if I have any school work.

I breathe and enter the bathroom begging to be spared from my dysphoria in this moment. My eyes instantly see the mirror.

That ugly long-haired man.

I grab my tooth brush closing the door with my foot. I wet my toothbrush, put toothpaste on the brush and then wet it again (strange but habit). I move the brush rapidly over my teeth trying to clean. Staring into that bathroom mirror seeing my baggy eyes.

Because sleep is a myth and I'm not allowed to use makeup to cover those bags.

Because you're a boy you can't wear makeup, that's strange.

Ignoring my invading thoughts, I carry on brushing my teeth but more violently for the next two minutes, by the end of which I have bleeding gums.

Fun.

I rinse out my mouth and spit out the blood, leaving a watered-down iron taste in my mouth. I wash my face with soap.

This is the best I can do for now.

I quickly left the room avoiding the dastardly mirror.

I dash across the hall into my bleak and barren room and close the door.

Back in here.

I walk over to my bland, and already open, wardrobe and pull out my school clothes, I then begin to change clothing avoiding looking down at my body in order to avoid seeing that thing.

Which proves you're just a faking boy who'll never be a girl with those hips or that ugly body hair.

I get into my clothes putting away my pajamas and clothing hangers.

Ah my school clothes: my lifeless and well ironed grey shirt with black stripes, my neat black jeans with a belt looped through it and finally pulling over it my baggy green hoodie my favorite piece of clothing and the only piece of clothing with life in it.

After I'm changed into the melancholy outfit, I grab my phone and lie down on my bed. Unlocking it and searching through my school homework app.

No homework to be done as expected.

I check the time 8:00 is the response I find.

Half an hour of free time that's great, I guess.

I open reddit browsing through trans memes and just upvoting them all just because. I see one about trans girls on discord servers.

I wish I had some friends who I could talk to.

Saddened by my loneliness and realizing I had seen all the new trans memes I just started browsing through basic memes.

I glanced at the clock after a bit 8:25.

Better go down and get ready.

I turn off my phone and put it inside my blazer pocket. I grab my back pack pre-loaded with today's essentials zip it up and put it on my back.

Same old bland routine, when will it end.

I exit my room and head down the stairs standing near the front door.

"Oh, there you are my dear" my mother says "well then let's go"

"Yeah alright" I say opening the door.

"Goodbye son " My father says walking past getting ready with his previously white sideburns black from shoe polish.

"See you later father" I say apathetically walking through the door.

To the prison of school, I go, my mental preparation time ceasing to exist.