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Saudade (BL)

Star

Star

Nov 04, 2020

Jin-kyu was just turning the corner towards the subway when he noticed an elderly woman in front of him drop one of her shopping bags on the sidewalk, the contents spilling across the concrete.

Jin-kyu jogged forwards to pick up the rolling bottles of shampoo and lotion before handing them back to her.

"Thank you dear, that's very kind," the woman smiled widely at him. She was wearing a large purple scarf and her greying dark hair was swept up into a jewelled clip.

"No problem," Jin-kyu nodded, eyeing the sheer amount of stuff she was attempting to carry. "Um, are you going far? Do you want some help with all that?"

"Oh that would be wonderful!" the woman exclaimed, "I don't know what possessed me to buy so much. I always go to my niece's for Christmas so I thought I'd stock up on some travel supplies."

Jin-kyu heaved the bags up onto his shoulder and grabbed the pile of books she was holding, cradling them in his arms.

"Some reading for the flight," she laughed, "trashy murder mysteries I'm afraid, try not to judge an old woman too harshly."

"No, I - I like thrillers too," Jin-kyu replied, glancing down to note that his own bookshelves were stocked with all these same authors. "Where does your niece live?"

"Rio de Janeiro," the woman replied with a twinkle in her eyes, "I'll be thankful to get away from this freezing weather we've been having."

"At least it's not snowing yet," Jin-kyu chuckled.

"Oh it will come," the woman smiled, "I'm just down here." She gestured down a wide street lined with old town-house buildings, all now split into apartments. "I'm Patricia by the way."

"Jin-kyu," Jin-kyu replied as they drew up to a red-painted front door that Patricia unlocked and held open, ushering him through.

Jin-kyu walked down the hall and into a small kitchen area that was cluttered with books and what looked like bunches of dried herbs. There were wind chimes hanging from the window frame and strange metal stars and pentagrams suspended from the ceiling.

"You'll have to excuse the mess," Patricia explained, as she moved some chairs out of the way to get to the kettle. "Would you like some tea dear?"

"I'm fine thank you."

"Regular or herbal?" she replied.

Jin-kyu found himself smiling and shaking his head, "Really, I'm fine, I have to be getting back. Thank you though."

"Oh?" Patricia asked, turning around with her hands on her hips. "Got a girlfriend or nice young wife you have to get back for?"

"Ah, no," Jin-kyu blushed.

"Perhaps a boyfriend or nice young husband then?" Patricia smiled.

"No, I live alone," Jin-kyu said, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly, "I..." he sighed in resignation, "herbal tea please."

"Excellent choice," Patricia nodded approvingly before turning back round to boil the water and fish some teabags out from an overhead cupboard.

"So tell me Jin-kyu," she asked a little while later as they sit down at the kitchen table, both holding sweet smelling, steaming mugs. "How is such a kind, handsome young man like you all alone during this festive season?"

Jin-kyu laughed, embarrassed, "I guess I don't get out much."

He absently ran his fingers across a metal grid that was sat on the table in front of him. The lattice was forged into the shape of a woman, her arms outstretched to the moon.

"A priestess," Patricia explained, "asking the moon goddess to answer her prayers."

"And did she?" Jin-kyu asked, quirking an eyebrow, a small smile playing on his lips.

Patricia laughed and shook her head, "The moon goddess was far too busy at that time answering all the other millions of prayers." She paused as she turned the grid on the table, "But she took pity on the priestess and so she came up with a marvellous idea. She would give all the stars in the sky in the ability to answer them for her. That way, no prayer would ever go unheard. And so it was that the priestess had her pleas answered, but by a star instead of the moon."

Patricia glanced up sharply at Jin-kyu, "Ever wished on a star?"

Jin-kyu snorted softly, "I'm sure I did when I was a kid, in fact I know I did when I was a teenager."

"And were your prayers answered?" Patricia asked.

"No. They're still dead," Jin-kyu replied, bringing his tea up and taking another mouthful of the spiced herbs.

Patricia sat back in her seat, frowning at him, "She will find a way," she said suddenly with a decisive nod, "she will find a way to answer you."

*

A surprising amount of time later, after Jin-kyu had learned a few choice Portuguese phrases and the names of all of Patricia's extended family, he was making his way out of the door and into the cold night air.

"You make sure you get home safe," Patricia smiled fondly at him, making his heart clench. "But don't forget to look up," she winked, before pointing above their heads. Jin-kyu glanced up at the inky sky and saw that it was scattered with flecks of shining white stars.

“Huh,” he murmured, “you can never see stars in New York…”

"Maybe this time?" Patricia shrugged as Jin-kyu looked back down to her. "Oh and it's a little early for it, but Merry Christmas, Jin-kyu."

"Merry Christmas, Patricia," Jin-kyu smiled, lifting his hand up in wave and turning to walk down the street.

After making his way home, Jin-kyu paused on the front steps of his apartment building, staring up at the sky. He could hear the music of Elvis' Christmas songs playing from one of the buildings across the street and there was the laughter of a young couple as they passed him by, their hands in each other's pockets and their cheeks rosy from the cold.

Jin-kyu sighed and looked back up again to find the brightest star in the sky. He still remembered the nursery rhyme that Sun-hee taught him when he was seven. He glanced quickly around to make sure he was alone and that the couple were well out of earshot before he whispered as quietly as he could,

"Star light, star bright,

First star I see tonight,

I wish I may, I wish I might,

Have the wish I wish tonight."

Jin-kyu paused, scuffing his boot against the cracks in the sidewalk. "I wish...to not be alone this festive season."

He wasn’t sure why he repeated Patricia's words, they had just hung so heavily over him that he figured that was what he wanted most right now. It wasn’t like it would work anyway. There was no point in wishing on stars.

However, it didn’t stop Jin-kyu from peering out of the window a few hours later, trying to locate the same star.

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XiaoBambi
Bambi 斑比

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j3ss
j3ss

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I really like Patricia🥰

9

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Saudade (BL)
Saudade (BL)

26.3k views308 subscribers

Jin-kyu is an artist living in New York with his two cats, whilst struggling with depression and loneliness. In the run up to the festive season he makes a sceptical wish upon a star. When his painstakingly crafted sculpture comes to life in the form of ‘Sammy’, right before his big gallery exhibition, Jin-Kyu is pretty sure the heavens have cursed him for Christmas.
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Star

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