-Josh-

So Ezra is Jewish. I would say 'I didn't expect that', except... how do you really 'expect' someone's religious affiliation? It's not like it's something you see outwardly, like race.

I don't care much about him being Jewish, but it makes me think more about the differences between us.

Like how every day after school, he's doing homework while I hang out with the football guys, and how he's in our room reading on the weekends, even though we're allowed to leave campus within a curfew. And, of course, there's his ridiculous makeup and his choice of non-uniform clothes, as opposed to my casual dress and, oh, I dunno, clean face.

Not to mention how quiet he is. When he's with his friends (new friends, I think), he's talkative and animated enough, but whenever he's away from them, he doesn't say a whole sentence over maybe ten words.

It confuses me. I'm having a hard time exactly pinning down what kind of person he is. And it just... it bothers me that I don't know what's going on with him.

The first month of school goes by fast. September ends, and October comes swinging in as always. Homecoming looms, not because of the dance, but because of the game. If anything, most people are excited for the dance. At dances and football games (as a spectator) is pretty much the only time we're able to see the students at the nearby girls' school. And in an all boys' school, seeing a girl is a luxury that most of the students like to take advantage of. I personally don't feel the need to ogle them the way a lot of the guys do, but being able to chat with some female friends (sort of-- more like friendly acquaintances) every now and then. Kieran is pretty immature and it definitely gets on my nerves after too long.

Girls have infinitely more intellectual conversations.

What surprises me about homecoming this year, though, is that Ezra seems to be planning for this more than me. He's actually left on the weekends, coming back with a new tie and a list of 'Homecoming Concepts' (a list I only glimpsed the title of). The fact that Ezra, the goth nerd who rooms with me and does homework every day and sticks his nose in a book when he's bored, is more bothered with his appearance at a dance than I am, is just... incomprehensible. I don't know what sense that makes. Am I in an alternate universe now where Ezra is cool?

No, of course not, because he's just as reserved outside of the room, but it shocks me nonetheless that he has plans for this. I'm gonna rent a suit last minute and borrow a tie from my dad, probably. Who cares about looking extremely fancy or good at a dance?

(Well, Ezra, obviously, but still.)

After a while, I finally ask (because I'm getting sick of not knowing), "Why do you even care about what you look like at hoco anyways?"

He gives me a weird look for a couple seconds. Just as I'm about to take back my question, he speaks. "Well... girls always get to dress up and be excited about dances. Why can't I? I want to be giddy and care about it, you know? I just want to feel like that, too."

I guess that kinda makes sense. "Really? That doesn't seem, like... girly to you?"

"Gender archetypes are an old, worn-out patriarchal institution in society and I try to disregard them."

"...what?"

"'Girly' is a social construct and it's stupid."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Just enjoy what you want." He shrugs. "I enjoy being excited about dances."

"Right," I agree, because I really can't argue.

"Right," he echoes.

Y'know, out of all the things that bother me about Ezra, the main one is how he's always right.

Not in attitude-- just in general.