-Ezra-

Josh is super judgmental. I just want to be excited about a dance, okay? I've never actually gone to homecoming before, so this year I want to look good while I do it-- make a good impression.

I feel like I've missed out on a lot of the whole 'high school' experience-- mainly, having a boyfriend.

I've watched high school movie upon high school movie, and the one main difference between me and them is that I'm single. I mean, I've had a boyfriend before, in between freshman and sophomore year, but he was someone who lived in my neighborhood and he didn't like the whole long-distance thing when I went back to school, after we'd been able to be super affectionate all summer. So... we broke up.

I didn't really necessarily want another boyfriend right afterwards, but in a few months, I kinda missed the constant company. Unfortunately, this is a boys' school, and a private school, and at Aerial Prep specifically, I find that it's very hard to identify who else is 'one of the gays' and who is not. Well, aside from the trans girl in my math class who only goes here because her parents don't recognize her as a girl. I feel bad for her-- she deserves better from her own family.

But as for other guys-who-like-dudes, it's anyone's guess. There are a few guys I have suspicions about, but even if they were gay/bi/pan/whatever, they're way out of my league. So... yeah. I'm lonely. And kinda hoping that homecoming can help me get a date, at least.

The night of the dance starts cool. I get all dressed up, do my makeup fancy with more extravagant eyeliner because why not, I'm inspired. A lot of the time, I wonder if the makeup scares people away from dating me (goths aren't exactly known to have the cheeriest personalities), but I think the most important part of finding someone to date is finding someone who likes me for me, right?

I take the bus into town with all the other kids whose parents don't live close enough to lend their cars (or just wouldn't, or don't have a car, or who needed it... there are a handful of reasons) because homecoming is being held in a hotel ballroom due to the fact that neither of the boys' and girls' schools can apparently let the opposite gender in for a single night.

...despite the fact that a couple hundred students between both schools will be associating with each other for hours regardless. Nice logic there.

There's more people than I really expected-- and wow, girls. I tell quite a few girls that I love their dresses, because honestly, they look amazing (just because I don't wear colors other than purple doesn't mean I don't like them) and they deserve to hear it. I also compliment a couple guys, one of which compliments me back before his boyfriend gets possessive of him-- rightfully-- and I respectfully back off like a decent human being.

What I see that honestly shocks me most is Mark and Tommy-- who I've been spending pretty much all of my time with lately when I'm not in class or doing homework-- slow dancing.

I mostly disregard it, honestly, because they're kinda weird dudes anyways, but also because I'm still on the hunt for, like... just a dance partner? Please, somebody dance with me.

I also see Josh around, but pay him no mind because, well... he's Josh. Do I need another reason? He doesn't want me around, so I'll spare him the whole 'having to tell me to leave' bit.

As the night goes on, I find a single person willing to dance with me, but 1) it's a girl-- her name's Anise and she's lovely and I think we could probably be friends but I am gay, and 2) it's only for one song. Not even her friend Jessabelle wants to (she's very apologetic, though, which is unnecessary but it feels nice).

In any case, I don't feel too bad as I head back to school at the end of the night.

I had a good time.