Julian had a hard time falling asleep that night. So many thoughts were running through his head all at once, and he didn’t know whether he felt happy or heartbroken. He loved spending time with Nick. He’d never felt this free and this happy together with anyone else. But a part of him knew that they wouldn’t work out. He wanted to believe in it… he really did. But Nick was from a whole different world, and he would never force him to leave his life behind, no matter how much he wanted to. He wasn’t sure what Nick was so afraid of. If Katie and he broke up it shouldn’t really be a problem. Maybe some people couldn’t accept that he’d chosen to spend his life with another guy instead of a beautiful woman like Katie, but a lot of people might support it. No one knew that Nick was into guys… hell, the older man hadn’t even known himself, so he would have to come out to his friends and family, which might be hard on him. Julian knew first-hand how wrong it could go. But Nick would never be able to be happy unless he took a chance and fought for what he wanted. Maybe it wasn’t Julian… but it could be someone who’d made him smile, and who’d make his heart beat a little faster. Everyone deserved that, no matter who they were or what they did for a living. He wasn’t happy with Katie, and she wasn’t happy with him. Julian wanted to shake both of them… to scream at them, and to wake them up. Katie was a sweet woman, she deserved a happy ending too, but as long as they stayed together, none of them would get that.

Julian turned around onto his back, folded his hands over his stomach, and sighed deeply. If Nick had just been a normal person, then this would’ve been much easier. It had been six days since he’d looked into Nick’s deep blue eyes the first time… six days since he’d fallen in love… and six days since he’d sealed his own fate. He’d promised himself not to do something like this again, but he couldn’t stop it. He was going to get his heart broken once more, no matter what he did.

He wondered if Nick was thinking about the same things too. Maybe he’d already made his choice and was going to dumb Julian as soon as these next few weeks ended. Maybe all of it was a lie, and he only pretended to like Julian to get laid. Maybe he didn’t care at all. The more he thought about those negative things, the worse the buzzing in his head got.

He had to trust Nick. He had to trust that the older man wasn’t going to hurt him, so they could enjoy these few weeks instead of worrying all the time.

He sighed as he closed his eyes. ‘’Everything is going to be fine,’’ he whispered to himself, though not believing his own words.

Julian wasn’t feeling much better as he woke up the next day. He’d been haunted by nightmares, in which Nick broke his heat over and over again. The buzzing in Julian’s head had gotten worse after those dreams, and he didn’t understand why or what it was. Every time he got closer to Nick it would begin, and every time he feared he would lose him it would get worse. It made no sense, but he tried his best to ignore it. It wasn’t an unpleasant feeling… far from it even, but it felt weird. He wondered if others felt the same… if Nick did. He’d said something about feeling weird around the lake, so Julian thought that the buzzing might be haunting the other man as well. There was just something special about that lake, even though no one knew what it was.

He reached over and picked up his phone from the nightstand, and a little blush spread across his cheeks as he saw the bottle of lube. Sex with Nick had felt so special. If Nick had been by his side at this very moment, Julian would’ve begged him to fuck him again. Having Nick inside of him was one of the best things he’d ever experienced. It was as if their bodies were made to fit together, and he’d been so gentle with him the whole time, making sure that Julian was okay and that he was enjoying it too. Nick made him feel like he was worth something, and Julian needed someone to remind him of that every day.

He contemplated going to Nick’s house. It didn’t seem fair that Nick was the only one reaching out, but he didn’t think it’d be a good idea. If Katie decided to invite him inside… or worse, to invite him over for dinner again, Julian would go crazy. It had been too awkward the last time, and he couldn’t go through that again. He didn’t want to be in a room with Nick, and not being allowed to kiss him. Besides, he didn’t know if Nick and Katie had any plans together. Maybe she wanted her husband to just spend a few days with her… it made Julian jealous to no end, though he had no right to be. Nick was her husband, and she had the right to spend her vacation with him, no matter how fake their relationship was. Julian would just have to wait and see. If Nick came over, then everything was fine, if not… then Julian would have to accept it.

As the hours past Julian began getting nervous. A part of him thought that Nick wasn’t going to show up again. That he’d gotten what he wanted, and now he was done with him. It was how it always ended. Julian had only ever been in two real relationships. Otherwise, people just used him because he was too trusting. ‘’Nick is not like that!’’ He told himself as he began pacing around in his small living room. ‘’He wouldn’t do that to me.’’ He knew he was being paranoid, and for no reason at all, but it was hard not to be when everyone else just wanted to take advantage of him. He had a hard time trusting people, to begin with, so a little stupid thing like Nick not showing up as soon as he woke up, was freaking him out. He wanted to go back in time and stop them from having sex. At least then he knew that Nick wouldn’t just fuck him and leave.

Julian had to distract himself, so he dressed quickly and left the little house in the woods.

He debated whether or not to visit Nick. He wanted to, but he was too afraid of what would happen if he did. A chill ran down his spine as he stared at the mansion at the end of the dirt road. He shook his head a little before turning his back to the mansion, shoving his hands into the pocket, and walked in the opposite direction towards the lake. It was the only place that could make him relax and forget his own thoughts for just a little while.

Julian was sitting on the little beach, looking out on the water with a little smile on his lips. He had no idea how long he’d been sitting there, doing absolutely nothing. That was the best thing about being on vacation. He had no responsibilities; no deadlines and he didn’t have to get up early. No matter how messy his life was at the moment, he was still free to do whatever he wanted. He leaned back and rested on his elbows as he took in a deep breath, letting the fresh summer air fill his lungs.

‘’Enjoying the weather?’’ A cheeky voice asked behind him.

Julian closed his eyes and shook his head as a smile formed on his lips. ‘’Yes, it’s lovely today,’’ Julian answered as he looked over his shoulders. Nick stood behind him, arms crossed over his chest and a smirk on his lips. He looked relaxed. The few top buttons on his shirt were opened, and his hair was no longer perfectly combed back. He looked a lot different now than he did when Julian had first laid eyes on him… he looked happier, and it made him absolutely beautiful.

Nick walked towards him and sat down next to him before leaning over to kiss Julian’s cheek.

‘’I hope I’m not disturbing anything,’’ Nick whispered in his ear, and a shiver ran down Julian’s spine as Nick’s soft breath tickled his throat.

‘’No, not at all,’’ Julian answered. ‘’I didn’t know if I’d see you again today.’’ He admitted, not looking at Nick.

‘’Why not?’’ Nick asked as he took Julian’s hands in his and squeezed it gently.

‘’It’s nothing,’’ Julian shrugged.

‘’You thought I was going to push you away, didn’t you? Because of what happened yesterday.’’ Julian could feel Nick’s gaze on him, so he bit his bottom lip nervously as he nodded. ‘’Hey,’’ Nick said as he pulled Julian’s hand into his lap. ‘’look at me,’’ Julian sighed, and did as he was told. ‘’I’m not like them. I would never take advantage of you.’’ Julian kept gnawing at his bottom lip as he nodded. Nick wasn’t like the others, he was aware of that, but it didn’t stop him from feeling nervous about it. ‘’I like you, Julian… truly. This isn’t just me trying things out, because I’m not like that. I slept with you because I trusted you… because I liked you so damn much and I just needed all of you. It wasn’t about me wanting to try to sleep with a guy. It’s about me falling in love with you, even though it’s crazy.’’

Julian couldn’t hold back a little smile as he looked deep into Nick’s beautiful blue eyes. ‘’I’m sorry for being so paranoid,’’ Julian said quietly.

‘’Don’t be. I understand why you find it hard to believe in people after what you’d been through, but I’m not them. I care about you.’’ Nick pulled him closer and kissed his lips.

‘’Thank you, Nick,’’ Julian muttered against his lips as he closed his eyes and allowed the pleasure to roll through his body.