Salome was currently smoking a hooka and as she gazed at Alister she blew a cloud of fragrant smoke in his direction. “Who are you?”

Alister waved a hand in front of his face to get rid of the smoke, and coughed. “My name is Alister Kingsley, Madam.”

A flash of surprise crossed Salome’s face. “My, you’re so polite. You have good manners, Alister.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “Now, tell me, are you The Artist?”

Alister frowned thoughtfully at the strangely worded question. “Well, I am an artist.”

Salome hummed thoughtfully. “Hmm, Madeline doesn’t need an artist’s help. She needs The Artist’s help. Only The Artist will be able to save her from her madness.”

Alister frowned. “I’m sorry…who? Who is Madeline?”

“She is the woman you love, you foolish boy,” Salome chided in a slightly exasperated tone. “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten…?” She blew another cloud of smoke in his face.

Alister waved his hand frantically in front of his face and coughed. “Woman…I…nope, sorry. That’s…impossible. Women and I don’t mix. I’m…allergic.” Alister nodded to himself.

“You’ll have to fix your ‘condition’ before it’s too late,” Salome said ominously.

“Yeah, not likely,” Alister said with a self-deprecating smile. “At any rate, I’m not the type of guy that goes around rescuing damsels in distress. I’m too much of a coward. Perhaps, you should ask the White King for his help. He seems very…gallant.”

Salome arched an eyebrow at Alister. “The White King is your rival for Madeline’s affections.”

“You see, that’s perfect then,” Alister declared enthusiastically. “Let the White King save her because I don’t want her.”

A sad look settled over Salome’s face. “He cannot save her. Only The Artist can. If you remembered your love for Madeline you would not be saying such heartless things. You would not let her go into the arms of another so easily.”

“Yeah, well, there’s only one woman I would travel into hell and back for…” Alister mused aloud.

“Who?” Salome asked.

“A woman who doesn’t exist.” Alister put his hands out before him in a helpless gesture. “She’s not real. She only exists…” Alister tapped the side of his head. “In here.”

“Then…she is real,” Salome argued.

“No, I just said-” Alister started to object, but Salome cut him off.

“What else can I help you with, boy?”

Alister let out a sigh. “I’d like to return a normal size.”

The caterpillar’s eyes narrowed. “What is wrong with your current size?”

Alister gave the caterpillar an incredulous look. “I’m way too small. I don’t want to get squashed like a bug!” Alister sucked in a breath after he realized what he’d just said so callously, and gave Salome an apologetic look. “Sorry.”

A dark scowl formed on Salome’s face. “If you believe the occasion calls for having a larger size then all you have to do is eat a little bit from the mushroom. One side will make you grow and one side will make you shrink.” Salome crawled down the mushroom and headed to a red wooden door on the mushroom’s stalk.

“Wait, where are you going?” Alister called after her in a panicky voice as he watched her open the door.

“Underland,” Salome glanced over her shoulder at Alister. “I have urgent business to attend to. Ta-Ta, Hardly The Artist.” Salome entered the mushroom stalk and shut the door behind her.

Alister looked at the mushroom and sighed. He tore a piece off from the bottom and another piece from the top. “Now, which is which, I wonder? Guess there’s only one way to find out.” Alister plopped a large chunk of mushroom into his mouth that had come from the mushroom’s top.

Katrina’s eyes widened like saucers when she saw what Alister had just done. “Wait! That’s too much!” But it was too late.

Alister began to grow in size at an alarming rate. He grew taller and taller until his head burst out over the trees’ canopies. “Bloody hell! I’m a giant! Where the hell are my hands…?” Alister tried to bring his hands up towards his face, but couldn’t get them up past the trees’ canopies. Shit. “Katrina! Help!” He looked down.

“I’m right here, silly,” Katrina said from beside him.

Alister turned to see a floating cat head hovering in the air next to him. “Katrina, you have to help me. Get me a piece of mushroom from the underside of the mushroom cap and feed it to me.”

“Why? You don’t like this size?” Katrina playfully tilted her head at Alister in a contemplative manner. “Being so big could come in handy. If you’re this big what would you have to fear?”

“Just because my size has increased doesn’t mean my bravery has too.” Alister let out a depressed sigh. “I’m still a coward. And I can’t use my paintbrush when I’m this big.”

“That’s true,” Katrina said as her head spun circles in the air. “You need your paintbrush. I’ll go get- what’s that!”

“What’s what?” Alister followed Katrina’s line of sight and saw something approaching them at top speed. “Is that a bird?”

Katrina’s eyes widened with horrified realization. “That’s no bird! That’s the Jabberwocky!”

Alister’s expression turned skeptical. “Jabberwocky? Like from the poem? It’s not a real creature…”

“Well, if it’s not real then you have nothing to worry about. Toodles!” Katrina suddenly turned completely invisible.

“Hey! Wait! You can’t just leave me here alone,” Alister complained indignantly. “Oh, crap…”

As the Jabberwocky drew closer Alister could tell it was no bird, but some kind of dragon with glittering, ruby-red scales. It was beautiful, but also frightening.

Jabberwocky halted a few yards away to hover in front of Alister’s face. “Little Alister…my, how you’ve grown. A lot.” The dragon raked her gold eyes over Alister’s form from head to toe.

“I’m sorry…do I know you?” Alister asked with a frown playing on his face.

“You may not remember me, but I remember you,” Jabberwocky said in a deep, sultry voice. “And as long as you live the King of Hearts will never have his happy ending! That’s why I’m going to rip your throat out! And, just so you know, this is personal.”

Alister gulped, and shuddered. Rip his throat out? “W-Wait! What do you mean by that-”

“Rawr!” Jabberwocky let out a roar, and flew towards Alister’s throat with her maw wide and sharp teeth visible.

“Eek! I’m sorry, but I can’t let you do that!” Alister grabbed the Jabberwocky around its long torso with his hands and miraculously managed to hold the dragon back.

The Jabberwocky roared in outrage at being stopped, and flapped her wings as hard as she could while trying to get closer to Alister’s neck. Alister continued to hold the dragon back even as she snapped her maw at his throat. For some reason it reminded Alister of holding a rambunctious, angry cat that wanted to claw your face for some reason.

Jabberwocky let out a frustrated huff, and then a sudden idea occurred to her and she smiled, showing off her wicked teeth. “Have it your way then. I’ll just have to roast you instead!” The Jabberwocky puffed up her chest, opened her maw, and released a large fireball Alister’s way.

“Ack!” Alister let go of Jabberwocky and dodged sideways to avoid getting a fireball in the face. Jabberwocky doggedly pursued Alister, however, and shot another fireball at him. Alister dodged this one as well, and started to run through the forest with the Jabberwocky right behind him.

Each time the Jabberwocky opened its mouth and loosed a fireball at Alister, he somehow managed to dodge it. The forest was starting to catch on fire, however. Alister could feel the temperature rising all around him as sweat beaded on his brow. He started to cough when smoke entered his lungs.

Belatedly, Alister realized what the Jabberwocky had done - she’d created a circle of fire around him using the trees of the forest. Dangerous orange and red flames surrounded him on all sides, entrapping him, and making escape from the Jabberwocky impossible.

Fire.

Alister was afraid of fire, and now it was all around him. “Mother…please…no…” Alister murmured as he stared dazedly into the flickering, red flames. “Please…don’t hurt me…” Pale and trembling, Alister stumbled backwards, fell, and landed on his backside with a huge thud that made the ground quake.

Jabberwocky flew over to Alister and hovered in front of his face. But, Alister no longer saw her. Tears filled Alister’s blue eyes, obscuring his vision, and he started to tremble even more violently.

Jabberwocky’s lip curled back in a disdainful sneer. “You’ve become such a sniveling, coward Alister! How pathetic. I’ll just put you out of your misery! Rawr!” Jabberwocky roared and flew towards Alister’s throat once more.

“I don’t think so, Jabberwocky!” a confident female voice called out.

Standing at the very top of one of the trees was a woman. Alister swiftly blinked his tears away so he could see her more clearly. She had long, curly hair the color of tangerines. Her eyes sparkled like emeralds. Her skin was pale and there was a cute smattering of freckles along the bridge of her nose. The woman was dressed in a Victorian-style, purple jacket with a dark green lining, a corset, leather pants, and lace-up knee boots.

The flashy top hat that was sitting on the top of her head caught Alister’s attention next. It was purple and had a green bow tied around its base. There was a determined expression on the woman’s face, and her long hair was whipping in the wind dramatically. The woman was gorgeous.

Alister’s eyes widened when the woman seemed oddly familiar to him, but he was in such a distressed state he couldn’t place her. I know her. He thought to himself, befuddled.

The Mad Hatter leapt up into the air and brought her double-edged sword down upon the Jabberwocky’s neck, decapitating it instantly.

Alister felt bile rise up in his throat at the sight of the Jabberwocky’s head being separated from its body and then falling down through the air.

The Hatter gracefully landed on Alister’s knee, smiled up at him in a cheeky manner, and beamed. “Hey there, Alister! You were late for tea, so I decided to come and fetch you myself! I was worried that something might have happened to you, but instead I find you playing with another woman! Tsk, tsk, tsk.” She wagged her finger back and forth at Alister in a teasing manner.

Alister gaped down at her with an incredulous expression on his pale, sweaty face. “But you’re…you can’t be real. Unless…”

Madeline’s smile dipped into a frown at the strange way Alister was acting. He wasn’t quite…himself. “Alister, I have so much I need to tell you, but first we need to get the hell out of here. This forest is done for.”

Alister glanced around at the flames in fear. “Y-Y-You killed the Jabberwocky.”

“Oh, don’t worry about her,” Madeline assured in a flippant manner. “I used the Vorpal Sword on her. It has an enchanted blade, so Crim will be able to reattach her head when he comes here to fetch her later.”

Alister’s eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. “Vorpal Sword? Crim?”

“Enchanted blades don’t produce normal injuries. And Crim is the King of Hearts, also known as the Red King.” Madeline tilted her head and frowned at Alister. “Really, you should remember all this. Did you hit your head, or something?” She shrugged when Alister didn’t respond. “Whatever. Come on, we need to go. Now. It’s not safe. Let the water bugs handle putting the fire out.”

“I…I can’t move,” Alister whimpered. “I’m afraid of fire. I’m terrified right now.”

Madeline’s frown deepened. She’d never encountered someone that was more than a hundred feet tall acting so cowardly. “Then, close your eyes. I’ll tell you where you need to go.”

Alister swallowed a lump of fear and nervousness. “Alright.” He obediently closed his eyes.

“Wait one sec.” Madeline hopped up onto Alister’s shoulder. “Okay. Now, I’m ready. First, stand up. Slowly.” Alister carefully stood up. “Turn left…stop. Continue straight. Lift your right leg. Good. Put it down. Lift your left leg. Good. Put it down. Continue walking forward.” Madeline let out a sigh of relief once she’d successfully guided Alister so that he’d simply stepped right over the ring of fire.

Madeline placed a hand on the side of Alister’s neck to steady herself as Alister continued to walk forward, leaving the blazing forest behind them. She glanced over her shoulder and saw that the water bugs had already arrived and were starting to put out the fire using the water they stored inside of their round, translucent, blue bodies. The Wonderland water bugs had long mouths that resembled a watering can’s spout.

A few minutes later they were exiting the forest onto a grassy hill. At the very top of the hill sat a small, three-story cottage that resembled a gigantic purple top hat. The first floor acted as Madeline’s hat shop, the second story had Madeline’s workshop where she made her hats and a living room area, and the third floor contained all the bedrooms.

“Okay. Stop. Now, open your eyes,” Madeline directed in a bossy tone.

Alister warily opened his eyes and looked down. The first thing he noticed was the cottage shaped like a top hat. Hanging over the front door was a sign, which read: Hat Shoppe. On the grassy lawn in front of the cottage a long dining table had been set up for tea. Alister frowned at the oddly familiar sight. “I…know this place…” His voice was tinged with disbelief.

“Of course, you do,” Madeline crowed. “Though it has been a while. My parents are no longer-” Madeline cut herself off. “Never mind. You probably don’t remember them anyways. Let’s get you a cup of tea. Everything always seems better after a nice, warm cup of tea.”

Alister headed over to the table and sat on the ground since he was still much too large to sit at one of the chairs at the table. Madeline climbed down Alister’s body, and he shuddered at the feeling of a woman touching him. Even if she was a very small one.

Madeline went to fill a giant teacup that was the size of a soup bowl for Alister, and held it up to him. “Here. Drink. You’ll feel better. It will help calm your nerves.”

“Thank you.” Alister accepted the teacup and took a shaky sip of tea. He instantly began to shrink in size. In just a few seconds, Alister had returned to his normal six-foot-one height. He immediately felt more…himself.

“Feel better?” Madeline asked knowingly.

“Much,” Alister agreed with a relieved look on his face.

Madeline took a seat at the table and poured herself a cup of tea from a different teapot, which had normal Earl Grey tea in it. “I know you probably have a lot of questions, and I’m more than willing to answer them, but there’s a pressing matter we must discuss first. Please, have a seat.” She waved her hand at the chair next to her.