The guilt is just rising up in my throat, 

like a bottle that's about to burst. 

The water running to my eyes so that I'm about to cry. 

No, 

I must fight back the tears. 

Nobody can see me now. 

They all see me as someone who smiles and 

laughs and 

does not cry. 

But really it is just 

a mask

 to hide my true self from the world. 

I walk out and plaster 

a fake smile

 on my face. I look like I am ready to face my demons. 

But underneath I am a coward.