“You know, I’m a little jealous. I wish I could shift like you. I think if I could I would run away. Live in the forest like our ancestors. I wouldn’t have anything to worry about. I could just be me. It wouldn’t matter that I was alone because at least I made the decision.” The wolf curled around me and rested his head on my shoulder. I smiled softly.
I lean into him, feeling his fur and smelling his scent. I feel at ease. The panic had stopped. It’s almost as if when he threw me in the water, my worries were washed away.
Unfortunately like all dreams there comes a time when you need to wake up.
A loud howl startles the two of us. I don’t recognize it. The wolf does though. He looks to the source of anguished scream. He looks at me.
“Go. I’ll be fine.” He presses his nose on my forehead and softly licks it. He stands and moves. At the edge of the clearing he looks back at me. He didn’t want to leave. Responsibility is a tough thing. He runs away. I’m left sitting, staring after him.
Then once again all the hope that I might’ve had, leaves with him. I’m all alone once again.
I get to my feet. I wander back in the direction that we came. As I walk lost in my own thoughts. It’s not long until the hole in my chest returns. An empty shell wandering in the forest. I wrap my arms around myself. Suddenly the cool air feels colder.
I wander aimlessly until somehow I make my way back to the main road. It was so dark out here. The trees made it almost ominous. A chill runs up my spine. Light approach from behind me. They slow down and I curse silently to myself.
“Hey stranger did you need a ride?” I look up.
“How can you not understand? I literally can not be more clear. I don’t want anything to do with you.”
“Well the same goes for you. I told you. I know that we belong with one another. Just give me a chance and you’ll see.” I sigh. I continue to walk along the street.
“C’mon just let me give you a ride. I won’t pester you with questions I promise. I’ll even give up all the questions you owe me.”
“You got your questions answered.”
“Hmmm I remember you agreeing to answer 10 in the car technically I asked 5 in the car, you passed on one. But I won’t ask you any questions if you let me give you a ride.”
I pause and consider his offer. I didn’t really want to walk the rest of the way, but… I look over at the guy. I still don’t even know his name. He gave no intention of wanting to hurt me. I didn’t want to be stuck out here for more than I had to. I had already been walking for hours.
“Fine.” I walk around the back of the car and get in the passenger seat. As I took a deep breath, I smelled the scent of a new car. I leaned my head against the door. My mind wandered back to that space. How did the wolf know about it? More importantly who was the mystery wolf?
I can’t help but wonder. I know that I should’ve been freaked, but I wasn’t. He very well could’ve killed me, or marked me, and yet he didn’t. He simply was just there for me. He didn’t seem to have ulterior motives. He could’ve forced his pheromones onto me.
I lean my head against the window. The heater feels nice against my skin. He leans across from me and pushes a button.
“You looked cold. I just turned on your heated seat.”I looked at him. Giving him the side glance letting him know I didn’t believe him.
He chuckled. “I mean hey if you want me to do more I don’t mind. I can warm you in other ways.” He winked. I look out the window.
“C’mon that was a good one! You’re not even going to crack a smile!” I bite my lip. He was right, it was actually really funny.
“There it is. That beautiful smile you’re trying to hide.” I smile.
“You’re such a goof. Thank you, for trying to make me feel better.” I see us pulling into the familiar driveway. My old truck sits in its place where I left it.
He pulls to a complete stop. I open the door, and get out of the car. When I close the door I hesitate for a moment. He did give me a ride and he didn’t ask questions.
I sigh. I shouldn’t… but… I sigh.
I walk around to his side of the door. He rolled down his window. “What’s up?”
“Do- do you want to come inside real quick? For a cup of coffee for the road?”
He smiled. “I would love to.”
I shouldn’t be doing this. I should push him away. I shouldn’t get close to anyone. It makes things more complicated.
I moved to the house. “I still don’t have my keys with me, so give me a minute. Wait here.” He stood on the porch. I went to the back of the house. I always left the window into my room unlocked. I slid it open and pulled myself in.
I moved to the front door and pulled it open. When I looked at him like this, a piece inside me melted. He was attractive. He looked nervous. It was actually kind of adorable.
“I know it’s a little hard to see, but your eyes are quick to adjust, so you should be fine.”
“I’m all good, but what about you? Don’t you want me to turn on the lights for you?” I move to the kitchen. I turn on the stove and light it with my designated lighter.
“You can try, but I don’t have power. I chose to have my power turned off.” I pull out a kettle and fill it with water. I enjoy feeling the warmth before placing the kettle on the stove.
“Why?”
“It’s cheaper. If I don’t pay electricity, I can spend more towards my gramps. Besides it’s not something I need.”
“Why-”
“Don’t make me regret asking you to come inside.” I reached up in the cupboard. I leaned on my tips toes feeling round for the instant coffee.
I feel a body press against me. I fall into him just a little. He places the instant coffee in my hands. For once I was glad it was dark. I could feel my cheeks heat up.
“Thanks.”
“No problem.”
He leans on the counter behind me. The room was filled with silence. The soft sound of the stove heating. Why did I offer him a drink? I could’ve just let him drop me off and ended it there. I gasp as his phone startles me.
He pulls it out of his pocket and looks at the screen before sending it to voicemail. It’s not long til it starts ringing again. “Do you need to get that?”
“No.” He sounds annoyed.
“It’s alright, I don’t mind. Go answer it.” I placed my hand on his shoulder. He was hard to see, but I could still make out most of his facial features. He sighed.
“I’ll be right back.” He kissed my forehead and walked out. My hand moved to where he had just placed his lips.
Did he just-
I can still feel where his lips had touched. I feel myself heat up. He had just kissed me. I place my hand on the counter. Trying to steady myself, as I lean in.
That’s never happened before.
A high whistling startles me. I turn off the stove. The whistling slowly dies.
Snap out of it!
I shake my head. I try to open the coffee, but the lid is stuck. I can't help but wonder, what if I did let him into my life?
Hands wrap around me. He takes the coffee from my hands and opens it with ease. I look up at him. “Thanks.” I look away. Yet he continues to stand with arms wrapped around me. I try to pull away. He pulls me back into his chest. He rests his chin on top of my head.
“You know. Being here with you, just like this. It’s all I need.” With that I remember who he is. An alpha of a well known, well off pack. I’m just a lowly omega. He’s just not used to someone telling him not to do something. It’s why I need to stop him feeling this way.
I rip away from him. I swallow the lump in my throat. This isn’t some fairy tale. I can’t develop any type of feelings.
“You should go.” I don’t look at him.
“But-”
“I’m sorry. I have work early in the morning.” The lump grows larger. I feel tears in my eyes. I bite my lip.
“Alright. Goodnight.” He tries to kiss my forehead, I duck away. He clenches his fist. I hear the door slam. I flinch.
I fall to my knees. My chest hurts. The reality of it, I can’t be with him. He thinks he wants me, but no one does. I’m just new, but the infatuation will fade. In its place pain will reside. The more time spent the deeper the pain will be. If I end things now, the pain will be shallow.
I shut my eyes. Pain goes away with time. It’s still fresh now, but soon I won’t feel anything.
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