The sun had begun to set off in the distance, and his end was just in sight. His footsteps pounded with his heartbeat, the breeze drying the sweat off his skin. A small lingering joy started to swell in his limbs as he picked up his pace. He turned down the path and saw the beginnings of the field and the school's fence.

A moment later, he was past them.

Jonan slowed his pace before coming to a stop, taking deep breaths and feeling the air expands his lungs. A flock of leaving birds led his vision behind him to the horizon and the amber sky. A blue moon hung low and faint. Jonan found Oliver just steps behind him. He glanced to his side and tossed a water bottle to him.

"Thanks," Oliver said as he caught the bottle. He unscrewed the bottle and took a long sip, drips of water sliding down his chin.

If only things could last forever, Jonan thought. He knew it wasn't a realistic wish, but he never thought it would change so quickly. That thought was nowhere near his mind when he got home and felt the warm hues of lights flood his sight, when he kicked his shoes somewhat carelessly off, when he ruffled Amelia's hair as she came to door the greet him and show him something new--A quarter, a rusted, withered pin, a rock. Today, Amelia presented a drawing. It was of their family. Lopsided and abstract, no doubt. Amelia in a pink dress with a small crown on her head. Their parents looking outside the front window of the house. Jonan rushing by with exaggerated lines behind him, perhaps the wind, perhaps a symbolic blur for motion, and their old cat crouched obediently in front of the porch, but really just a black blob with a tail.

"You're thinking about Kuro again?" Jonan knelt to Amelia's height, looking at the picture.

She nodded. "I miss Kuro. I want Kuro back." Amelia was too young to truly understand what lost meant. It is difficult to register to a child that sometimes loss meant forever.

Not knowing how else to comfort her, Jonan patted her shoulder and whispered, "I'll grab you another cookie from the cookie jar." Sometimes he felt guilty for diverting her attention through the allure of sweets, but he didn't want to explain to her what loss implied. She'll know eventually. Time will be the wisest teacher.

Amelia squealed. "Another cookie!"

"Only if you keep it a secret from mom," Jonan laughed and shooed her towards the pantry.

--

Jonan looks out the window again. He isn't quite sure what he is looking for. He sees out in the courtyard, where, occasionally, he can see people taking a walk. Usually, other patients, who wear the same kind of clothes as he, making their way slowly and surely around a patch of flowers and bushes.

On their two feet.

Jonan tries to stop looking, but he always inevitably stares once more. As if he was a child again, mesmerized by the trinkets in the toy aisle, even knowing clear well his parents won't buy one for them unless it was a special occasion. As he stares, something ugly inside him always begins to ruminate.

It grows in him like a weed; its roots latch onto flesh and veins and germinate in his cells. He hates all of this, everything. His face contorts, a solemn purse of the lips and eyebrows hanging low over his eyes. It is only when he catches his reflection of the glass panes does he turn away.

He sees one of the nurses, whose name he cannot recall, come in to tell him something...about appointments with the doctor, possible healing, physical therapy...Words fall meaningless to his ears.

She walks closer with a clipboard and makes her way beside to Jonan's bed. Then, she steps on something, crunching under her foot. It is a keychain. "Is this yours, Jonan?" she asks.

Jonan inspects it dully in the palm of his hands. Recognition flashes through his eyes. nods. "Yes..it is."

And only then does he realize that the pendant was one glued together with string. All of Amelia's favorites: blue and pink buttons he collected from school, little pieces of rocks, even a big chunk of mulch, a now a pin, cracked.

"My sister gave it to me," he says and holds it closer. "I-I have been looking for it." Amelia will hate me now.

And how much he regrets it.