Fifteen minutes later, Saliou found himself in the entryway from the Dumont family's vast garden courtyard, which overlooked the lake. Step by cautious step, he went up the broad marble staircase leading to the main house.
The stairs he usually took two at a time, was now a steep mountain to be taken on all fours. Saliou held on to the railing as tightly as he could, and with each push his legs would wobble like a heavily sedated patient. His stomach began to heave in a sickly way, his head spinning around as if he were riding on a carousel, slow at first and then gaining momentum.
Finally, after what seemed like forever, he reached the balcony where he had a perfectly clear view of the lake and the wedding banquet. As soon as he managed to steady himself, a strong gust of wind nearly knocked him back. The Dumont household was high up on a hill, so the wind was stronger and colder. Standing out there, Saliou pulled his jacket closer around him, doing so little to make him feel better.
The view of the party stretching out below put him in a perspective, ironically making him feel a little less lonely. He wanted to get as far away from this place, from these people, as he could.
Yet he couldn't bring himself to just leave without getting to see Wren one last time, talk to him, bid a proper farewell.
It worried him terribly that he was still fixated on Wren. He wondered if he had to go through life reliving this massive disappointment and heartache over and over again. A man who was now out of his reach - his very own brother-in-law.
Saliou let out a sharp laugh as he took a tight grip on the whiskey bottle.
No fucking way. His life wasn't going to be some tragic story of abandonment. Next time, Saliou wouldn't even look at a man unless he's head-over-heels in love with him. And then, he would put up a good fight and never let him go.
Good plan.
But where could Mr. Right be?
Saliou turned when he heard footsteps behind him. To his surprise, he saw Wren slowly climbing up the stairs, looking at him with solemn eyes.
The sense of déjà vu was overwhelming. Here was Saliou seeking some solitude, taking in the calming view and Wren was coming toward him.
It was the same view, but certainly a different circumstance. But there was Wren joining him, coming to stand next to him, just like all those times they marveled at this view before them, planning their own wedding by the lake.
Oh, how the tides have turned...
Saliou stood still and looked straight, acted like Wren wasn't even there.
"What are you doing here all alone, Sal?" Wren asked. His deep, reverberating voice made it hard for Saliou to breathe.
"I... should be the one asking you that," Saliou replied levelly. "W-What is the newly-wed groom doing here all alone... leaving his p-pregnant husband to attend to the guests?"
Saliou raised the bottle of whiskey to his lips, but Wren reached over and snatched the bottle from his hand, spilling some of the liquor on the other's shirt.
Saliou glared at him with heavy, unfocused eyes. "W-What do you think you're doing? Give – Give it back!"
Wren didn't know what to do. He had no experience with drunk people before. And he certainly did not expect someone as calm and composed as Saliou to get himself intoxicated until he could barely stand on his own two feet.
"Why are you here, anyway? W-Why do you care what happens to me? Give... Give that back to me. Give that back to me and leave me alone!" Arms flailing about, Saliou tried to snatch the bottle back from Wren.
It was then when an intense wave of nausea welled up from his gut. He covered his mouth and quickly leaned his head over the edge of the balcony. Then, like a balloon that just got inflated in his stomach, everything he had eaten and drunk for the past couple of hours raced to be expelled.
The physical rejection caught Saliou by surprise that he could hardly breathe and vomit at the same time. He coughed, gagged, and spewed everything into the void.
Between convulsions, Wren could hear him whimpering and cursing under his breath.
"I hate this! I fucking hate this!"
Wren could hear and feel the anguish and despair in the other's voice. He gently massaged Saliou's neck and back, and kept his hair from getting in the messy stream.
Five minutes later, Saliou finished with a deep belch wheezing from his gut. He had vomited everything up until there was nothing left to vomit. He leaned against the railing, wiped his lips with the back of his hand, and let his head sink on his arms.
When Saliou drank alcohol, Wren knew exactly how much he would drink before he would get to that point – that throwing-up point. Saliou knew exactly when to stop and when to control it. Not this time.
"... Feeling better now?" Wren asked, hesitant.
"I hate you...!" Saliou spoke shakily, his voice muffled from his arms. "You... really broke my heart." Slowly, he lifted his head to look at Wren, angry tears brimming his eyes. "You seriously broke my heart, Wren Dumont! I fucking hate you!"
With Saliou's current state, emotions have risen to the surface more easily. It's during these moments when raw emotions and honesty arise, and Wren wasn't quite ready to take it all in. He tried to reach out and touch Saliou lightly, but he recoiled with a cry.
"D-Don't touch me. Don't come near me. P-Please... just go away and leave me alone...!" Saliou demanded.
"How can you expect me to leave you like this?" Wren ignored his pleas and lost himself in the feel of having Saliou in his arms. "I'm sorry, Sal... I'm so sorry... What can I do to get you to forgive me?"
Saliou flailed and struggled to no avail. In the end, he buried his face in Wren's chest and sobbed harder. "What should I do with these feelings, Wren? I don't want them anymore...! They're such... a heavy burden to carry... I'm so tired. Everything just hurts...!"
Saliou's words filled Wren's heart with shame and regret. He squeezed Saliou tightly, softly sobbing against his hair. "Please, let me help you. I still love you, Sal. I still want you..."
His words snapped Saliou back to his senses. Those sweet words that once brought him comfort, now threatened to bring him more pain and misery.
Saliou slowly pulled away from Wren's embrace and wiped away his tears. "That may be true, but... Milou... he's your mate now."
Wren once again tried to reach out to give him the comfort he so obviously needed, but Saliou took a step back, away from him.
"I'm no longer a part of your life now, Wren. I shouldn't be." Saliou choked, trying not to let the emotions gush forth. "And... you might as well not be part of mine, too..."
Wren's heart sank. He bit his lip tightly in an attempt to hide any sound that wanted to escape from his mouth.
Saliou slowly turned away from him, hands holding tightly to the railing as he went. "From now on, let's just... make sure not to get in each other's way. It's for the best."
Wren's lower lip quivered as words slowly made their way out of his mouth. "I still... I need you, Sal..." he began, yet what followed was engulfed in tremors.
Another voice spoke from a dark corner of the balcony. "Wren? Sal?"
They both looked up to see Milou, slowly walking his way toward them, his face painted with panic and concern.
Saliou quickly recomposed himself and took a step toward his brother. Milou came forward and placed his hands on Saliou's upper arms. "Jesus, Sal, you're dead drunk."
Saliou lowered his head and chuckled. "I know... Which is why I need to get going."
"So soon?" Milou glanced at Wren, then back to Saliou. "Uhm, do you want to stay in the house for a bit? You can't go back home like this. Let me go and ask – "
Saliou shook his head as he slowly drew away from his brother. "The celebration will continue without me, anyway. So don't worry too much. If anything, you ought to be resting now." He gently placed a hand on the small swell of Milou's belly. "You've strained yourself too much today." He lifted his head to look at Milou's face, then placed his hand on each side of the other's face. "You look pale. You may be past the morning sickness, but it doesn't mean you're already out of the danger zone." He looked over his shoulder and continued, "Let Wren accompany you to the main house. Get some rest. I'm sure the guests will understand."
Milou pressed his hand to Saliou's. "Will you be okay?"
Saliou was already feeling weak and drowsy, but he managed to nod his head yes. He closed his eyes for a time, then opened them again to look at his brother.
"I'm so happy for you..." The corners of his lips drew up in a faint smile. "A good husband and a baby on the way... Dreams do come true, don't they, Milou?"
Saliou's words sent a cold chill down Milou's spine, as he felt an inexplicable sense of guilt. Before he knew it, his lips were quivering and his eyes were glistening with tears.
Saliou dropped his hands and turned from his brother, walking away before the turmoil in his heart led him to say something that would hurt the other.
For the last time, he glanced over Wren, whose face was still struck with misery. Somehow, it didn't hurt to see him that way. In fact, Saliou liked to see him suffer for what he'd done to him.
Saliou gave himself a second to strengthen his tone of voice. With a self-deprecating smile, he said, "Best wishes to you both." He turned to go.
Wren and Milou, both stifling a sob, silently watched Saliou until he disappeared around the corner of the house.
That fateful day had seen the beginning of a new life and the end of an old flame...
Comments (0)
See all