The sun begins to set. The deepening dusk lulls me even further into the serene, dreamy state I’ve been floating around in all day, ever since we summoned Will.

Kasey’s happiness means the world to me, and I haven’t seen her this happy in such a long time. I can tell how happy Aiden is, too, overwhelmed with our success. He keeps going quiet, smiling at me warmly, closing his eyes to listen to us. I wonder if he’s thinking about how this all started with him alone, frustrating himself to pieces, trying to contain his magic to a circle of rocks.

He never needed that. Someone else’s format. He only needed help, support, a way to find his own format - and here he is. He did Ariana proud, just like she knew he would. No wonder he’s so brilliantly happy. No wonder he can’t seem to let go of me, even though we’re currently walking around the grocery store.

I lean my elbows on the cart, watching affectionately as he reaches up to grab a box of Pocky from the top shelf for me. The Ghost Office team celebrated our victory until we were too exhausted to keep yelling, and now, I’m really looking forward to what feels like a well-earned lazy night in.

“Dinner,” I announce, reaching for the box of Pocky.

Aiden laughs, jerking it out of my reach.

“Oh my god. This is not your dinner. You want me to make us something?”

I was kind of hoping he would ask. He must be able to tell by my expression, because he nods knowingly, reaching across the cart to ruffle my hair.

“What do you feel like?”

“Mmm. I don’t know.” I shrug my shoulders. “Anything. Surprise me.”

“Okay.”

“But not something cold, since it’s cold outside.”

“Right, no.”

“And I’m not feeling anything spicy tonight. I’m still reeling from the single Scorpion chip that Noah talked me into trying yesterday.”

Aiden breaks into a smirk, leaning his hands on the front of the cart. “Anything else?”

“Mmm… no noodles, because we had that like, two days ago, and also no-”

“Jesus!” Aiden laughs. “You do realize, Jamie, that most people make lists of what they do want at the grocery store, not a long-ass list of everything they don’t want?”

“Can we do dessert, too?” I ask.

“Typical.”

“I super liked those doughnuts you made. The Persian ones.”

“Oh, did you?” Aiden smiles. “That’s my aunt’s recipe. I don’t make them as good as she does.”

“Well, I liked the way you made them.”

Aiden’s smile broadens. He comes around the cart and taps my nose.

“You have saffron at your place?” he asks.

“Mhm.”

“Okay, well. I don’t know if they sell rosewater here, but I’ll go check.” He brushes a quick kiss onto my lips. “Be right back.”

I stand there, watching Aiden head off down the aisle. My chin is propped on my palm, my elbow resting on the cart, a stupid smile on my face.

“Oh, okay,” someone says, from behind me. “Now I get it.”

I straighten up and turn around before I place the voice. My eyes land on a familiar face, and I freeze.

Roger is standing there, and I get the impression that he has been for at least a few minutes. Long enough to see and hear all of that.

A ghost summoning and a run-in with an ex, all in one day. All I want to do is go home and eat doughnuts, goddamnit.

Based on Roger’s appearance, I’d guess that he’s just coming off a long shift. His black hair is all messed up, he looks exhausted, and he’s wearing a navy t-shirt with FIRE/RESCUE printed on the sleeve. He’s not looking at me, but instead watching Aiden as he disappears into a different aisle.

“Roger!” My cheeks instantly start to burn. “Hey! How - how are you - um-”

He can tell that I’m struggling, and he lets out a tired laugh. He’s only holding a pre-packaged sandwich and a bottle of water. He shifts them both into one hand.

“Relax, Jamie,” he says, sweeping his hair out of his face. “I read your last text loud and clear, and you’ve obviously moved on. I’m not gonna try again.”

I blink at him, surprised, but not at all in a bad way. I’m also glad that he didn’t call me Keane-Bean. That made it sound like we still have some intimate thing going on, which made me a little uncomfortable, honestly.

“Oh,” I say, trying not to sound as relieved as I am.

Roger bites his lip, then blows out a frustrated breath.

“Why didn’t you just tell me about him when I saw you? When your - house - thing - place by the river was on fire? I would have backed off.”

“We weren’t even together when that happened!”

“Really?” Roger sounds doubtful. “Because, um. You should’ve seen the way he was looking at you.”

This sends a rush of warmth through me, but I do my best not to let it show on my face.

“Took us a while to figure out that the feeling was mutual,” I explain.

Roger shakes his head, breaking into a faint smile.

“Well. You seem happy.” He pauses, then adds, “I really didn’t mean to bother you, Jamie, I just - I don’t get it. I don’t get what happened with us. I thought we were solid. I know that we weren’t like, perfect together, but everything seemed fine, right up until the day you - the day we split. You just said that we weren’t right for each other, but I don’t understand what you meant by that, because everything seemed fine.”

I definitely wasn’t prepared to have this conversation, especially not in the middle of a grocery store, with Aiden probably coming back at any second. I’m so tired, and I have a million other things on my mind, but I had no idea that this was bothering Roger so much. The least I can do for him is provide an explanation.

I hesitate, considering how to put it.

Roger is right. Things were always fine with us.

That, I think, was the issue.

I told Aiden that I’m a hopeless heart-eyed idiot, that he completely failed to kill the romantic in me, even if he tried hard when we were in high school. I meant that.

This thing between me and Aiden, it never feels just fine. That’s never the word I would use to describe it.

Sometimes it burns white-hot, cyclonic and all-encompassing. Heat and fervor that comes right from my very core, and from his. No time to get all our clothes off, no time to make it to the bed. I remember feeling like I was going to lose my fucking mind if I didn’t tell him that I loved him. I remember leaping into a stormy river without a second thought, because he had jumped in first.

And sometimes it burns low, a gentle simmer. Warmth, rather than heat. The sound of Aiden’s breathing quieting down after I climb up his body to put my head with his on the pillow. The interlacing of our fingers when he’s got one hand on the wheel, driving us to Mugshot, or the Ghost Office. Even walking through the grocery store together, it’s there. It flows through everything, colors my life so much brighter than it ever had been before.

However the flame is burning in a given moment, it’s always there. Invariably constant, warming me from within.

When it comes down to it, I could never go back to the world I lived in before Aiden.

Whereas with Roger, things were fine.

Even if I didn’t know what it was about him... on a deep-down level of instinct and intuition, I understood that some vital connection was missing between us.

I suspect that Roger must have known this, too, but either he wasn’t listening to himself, or he was thinking of us like people made out of wax. If we could melt away certain pieces of ourselves, we could fit together, and pretend that we were always made to.

A few days before I officially ended it, I had asked Roger:

“Am I one of the first three things you think of, when you wake up?”

I asked him at the wrong time. He was just coming off of a long shift, and he was tired.

“No,” he’d said, rubbing his eyes. “What? I mean, yeah. Most days, sure.” He’d opened one eye. “Sorry. Are you mad?”

“Not - mad,” I’d answered, guiltily thinking that he wasn’t one of my first three things, either.

“People don’t really think like that,” Roger had said, crawling into bed next to me. “C’mon, don’t be a child.”

I know that he didn’t mean it in a hurtful way, and I wasn’t insulted. It was only that I was really sure, in that moment, that he and I were not going to work out.

I take a steadying breath, then meet Roger’s eyes.

“That’s the problem,” I tell him. “I wanted more than that. For me, and for you. You should be with someone who makes you feel fucking crazy, in a good way. You and I, we were always - well, what you said. Solid. Fine.”

Roger stares at me, then lets out a snort of laughter.

“Still got your head in the clouds, huh?” He shakes his head. “Should have known, you being you. What with all the alien shit, and ghost movies, and cryptoids-”

“Cryptids,” I correct automatically, then feel my face turn pink again. “Um. Yeah, I do still have my head in the clouds. You should try it out sometime, though. It’s not so bad up here." I fidget with the sleeve of my flannel, then pin on: "I know there’s someone out there who will make you feel like that, Roger. Like you’re - walking above the world, not on it.”

He considers that, tilting his head to the side.

“Hell of a drop, though, isn’t it?” he asks. “If you fall?”

“Sure, but sometimes it’s worth the risk.”

Roger nods slowly.

“So, he’s worth the risk? This guy? What’s his name, again?”

“Aiden. And yes, he is.”

Roger opens his mouth to say something, then pauses, his eyes flitting over my head. I turn to see Aiden coming towards us.

Aiden spots Roger, and the intimate, warm smile on his face drops away.

He reaches us, slips what he’s holding into the cart, then stops by my side. He stands close, and rests a hand on my back.

This is an obvious message to Roger, who absolutely doesn’t miss it. His eyes narrow, like he’s cooking up a catty comment, but he clears his throat, letting his expression fall neutral.

“Hey,” he says. “Aiden, right? We met at - well, the fire.”

Aiden’s greeting comes in the form of a very slight incline of his chin. “Yep. Hey.”

“You two burn anything else down, recently?”

Aiden and I exchange a glance, thinking back, and Roger raises his eyebrows.

“Wow,” he says. “I did not expect you guys to need to stop and actually think about that question. What are you two doing in that building? Besides collecting fire code violations, that is.”

I’m tired enough that my instinct for unfortunate honesty takes the wheel.

“We’ve been trying to catch a ghost,” I answer, and Aiden presses his fingers to his temples.

“Jamie,” he groans. “Stop telling people! Everyone is gonna think we’ve lost our damn minds! You think every person we meet is another believer, I swear!”

Roger’s already raised eyebrows lift even higher.

“This is all starting to make a lot of sense,” he mumbles to himself.

“Sorry, Aiden,” I whisper.

Aiden sighs deeply, then gives my hair a little forgiveness ruffle.

“What about you, man?” he asks stiffly, turning back to Roger. “I’m sure you’ve been up to less absurd behavior than we have.”

He blinks in surprise as Roger attempts a friendly smile.

“I’ve been good. Moving forward. We got an extremely cute new guy on the crew. A new EMT.” Roger’s smile widens. “I know it’s not the best idea to date where you work, but I’m really hoping he’s gay. Or at least bi. I intend to find out, let me tell you.”

“Aw!” I match his smile. “Fingers crossed that he is!”

Roger laughs, but it dissolves into a yawn.

“I should probably get going.” He rubs his eyes with his free hand. “I really need to catch up on some sleep. See you guys at the next fire, I guess?”

“Bye,” I call, as he weaves around us.

Aiden stares after him, his lip pinched between his teeth, his blue eyes narrowed.

“Hey.” I tug on his sleeve. “Be good, please. What’s that face?”

Aiden sighs. “I’m trying to decide if I should say something.”

“Say something?” A flutter of alarm moves through my chest. “About what? Aiden?”

“Hey,” Aiden calls. “Roger!”

Roger had just reached the end of the aisle, but he glances over his shoulder. He stops when Aiden beckons to him, then turns and comes slowly back over to us. He catches my eye, but I don’t know where this is going, either, and all I can do is shrug.

Roger stops in front of us, wary eyes on Aiden. "What's up?"

“When you talk to that new guy on your team,” Aiden begins, and then hesitates. “You - you probably shouldn’t say that to him.”

Roger’s eyebrows furrow. “Say what?”

“You said you’re hoping he’s gay, or at least bi,” Aiden answers. “That just - that kind of makes it sound like if he's bi, that’s fine, but less good than if he turned out to be gay. You don’t want to make him feel like as a bi guy, he’s the lesser option.”

“Oh, no, of course I don’t!” Roger says, startled. "I meant like - I hope he’s at least partially into guys.”

“Okay.” Aiden frowns. “But - saying that he’s partially into guys because he’s bi, that’s not - I mean, if he’s into guys, then he’s into guys, regardless of whoever else he’s into. Right?”

“Well - yeah, that’s - yeah.” Roger runs a hand over his tattooed neck, his eyes growing troubled. “Hey, look, I hope that I didn’t... I really didn’t mean it like that. Like it’s less.”

Aiden absorbs this reaction, suddenly looking much more friendly than he’s ever looked towards Roger before.

“I didn’t think you did, man, and I know that it’s a little thing, but I just wanted to give you a heads up. Because if he is bi, and you say that to him, it might get you guys off on the wrong foot.”

“Oh.” Roger draws back, surprised. “Well - thanks, Aiden. Appreciate it.”

“No problem,” Aiden says.

They exchange an actual, real smile.

Dumbfounded, I press my fingers over my mouth, then speedily drop them before Roger and Aiden look down at me.

“Well. I’m gonna roll.” Roger gives us a wave, then sets off again. “See you two later!”

I turn to Aiden, a giant grin unfurling on my face. He sees it, and groans, lifting his snapback to run a hand through his hair.

“Don’t say anything.”

“Oh, I’m gonna say something.” I poke his ribs, and he swats my hand away, scowling. “You can’t help yourself, can you? Even looking out for Roger, making sure he doesn’t hurt his chances with that guy-”

“For fuck’s sake, it’s not only about Roger, okay? I just don’t want some bi guy out in the world to hear that!”

“Oh my god, do you even hear yourself?” I tip into his arms and squeeze him tightly, smooshing my cheek into his chest. “Not to sound too much like Raj, but I literally need to hug you right now.”

“Alright, enough!” Aiden squirms his way out of my arms, fighting down a smile. “Come on, we need to get home if I’m gonna have enough time to make you the doughnuts.”

“Wow.” I stare up at him, fanning my face. “Every word tonight makes me more in love with you than I was before. Say doughnuts again. Say it slower, this time.”

“Stop it!” Aiden laughs, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

I hope that things do work out for Roger and that new guy on his team. I hope he does get a taste of life with his head in the clouds.

It’s awfully nice up here.