The following month the group kept themselves busy with the prototypes of the outfits they had planned for the festival. The festival was at the end of February, so they only had three more months, but Evy was sure they would make it. She had worked with tighter deadlines before.

November was also a month for Evy of figuring out what she wanted. The ritual had made her realize that she felt more for the trio than just friendship, but she was unsure of how to move forward. In the past she had had crushes and she had dated twice, though she had never initiated the relationship. She knew she liked both boys and girls, but she had never imagined she would fall in love with more than one person. Let alone three. It kinda… scared her?

Anytime she was close to them, she felt herself getting distracted by her thoughts. She was sure they noticed something was off, but they were kind enough not to bother her about it. Evy and Liv were walking back to their homes, when the goth girl interupted her thoughts.

“Your birthday is on Thursday, right?”

Evy nodded, though only half registering what was going on.

“We wanted to throw you a party at the teahouse after school if you’re up for that.” When Liv didn’t get a reply, she turned her head worriedly, and asked: “Are you okay?”

The girl rubbed her eyes, pretending to remove a stray eyelash, and then nodded. “I’m fine, don’t worry.”

Liv was hesistant to believe her obvious lie, but decided to not push it any further. She knew Evy occasionally cried when she was stressed, so maybe it was just some schoolwork that stressed her out. No need to pile any more stress on top.

“Alright then, see you tomorrow.”

 Evy nodded and waved Liv goodbye before continuing her walk home. She pondered on what her friend had said. Her birthday, huh? Maybe she could find the courage then to confess. The longer she kept these feelings inside, the more difficult she found it not to break down. It was already eating her alive.

She sighed as she opened the front door, glad nobody seemed to be home. She grabbed a sandwich from the kitchen and with heavy feet she throdded up the stairs to her room. She munched on her food, though halfway through she was already full. Her bed was calling her, so she got changed and then flopped down onto the soft sheets.

“I love you guys,” she murmured softly before her eyelids decided they were too heavy to keep open.

* * * *

Evy hadn’t had such an intense dream in a while, not since Marya. The faces were vague, but the sensations, oh my God. Three pair of hands, three tongues, three bodies that were hot to the touch. Sparks ran through her body, igniting with every soft brush of naked skin. Wet, sloppy kisses trailed her neck and shoulders, and fingers explored parts of herself that even she hadn’t touched before.

“Do you like this, Evy?” A soft voice laced with love and lust asked, “We promise we’ll be with you forever, you just have to ask.”

Before Evy could answer, a pair of hands cupped her naked breasts. They slowly massaged them, with the occasional soft pinch of her nipples.

“We can make you live in ecstasy, every day if you want. We’re already yours,” This voice was a bit darker, deeper, and it sent pleasurable shivers down Evy’s spine.

“We love you too, Evy,” A third voice continued, this one lighter and brighter than the previous two, “You may not realize that yet, but if you don’t ask, you won’t know for sure.”

Purple eyes met hers, looking deeply into Evy’s soul. They knew, they knew her deepest desires, aching to surface, aching to be fulfilled. She let them take over, let them fill her up to the brim until she couldn’t anymore. Her moans rang in her ears, and for a second she was surprised by the dirty sounds she could produce, then reveling in the pleasure, pain and lust that washed over her. With a gasp she came, riding the wave of electricity shooting through her body.

Then everything went white and she blinked. It was morning again.

 * * * *

Evy felt tired, stressed and irritated. Two more days until her birthday, two more days until her plan to confess. She didn’t know if she wanted the time to go faster or slower. The dream didn’t help much either. It messed with her head so badly, it made her want to scream.

Liv offered her a cup of tea from one of the local shops along their route and she gladly took the hot beverage. The warmth started to spread from her hands to the rest of her body, loosening the tension on her semi-permanent frown just a bit. She was grateful for the small gestures of affection from Liv, even though they were currently nothing more than just friends. Would she have the courage to change that?

Before they knew it, they had already arrived at the school building. Evan and Jamie were waiting for them at the entrance, their faces only showing a moment of worry when they saw the look on Evy’s face.

“Evy, I’ll meet you at your locker, okay? I have to talk to Evan and Jamie for a bit.”

The girl with her pink hair, still neatly taken care of despite her current condition, nodded. She could tell Liv wanted to talk to the boys in private, so she didn’t protest. So close, yet so far away. She downed the rest of her tea and entered the building.

On her way to the lockers, she could feel the cold hand of emptiness tighten around her heart. It was a feeling that she hadn’t really noticed before. The absence of the three people she held most dear, made her feel powerless, making her an easy prey to her insecurity. They were just friends, nothing more. She shouldn’t expect anything else from them. Because what if they didn’t like her the same way she did? What if they would they hate her for feeling like this? What if they would tell her she wasn’t their friend anymore if they found out?

She couldn’t stand those thoughts. Breathing got hard. Oh God, she felt a panic attack coming up. Her legs gave way, her head banged against the metal locker, she slumped like a broken doll on the floor. Don’t let anybody see. Breathe Evy, breathe. Calm yourself down before anyone notices. Stupid, that doesn’t work ofcourse! It only made things worse. Things she didn’t want to feel or think about, spiraled out of control, choking her from the inside. She started sobbing, ugly crying, gasping for air.

She lost control, but she didn’t care in this moment. She was already known for being one of the weirdos with her pink hair anyway. Fuck the system, fuck expectations, fuck only being friends. God, she was terrible. Falling in love with your best friends, all three of them at the same time. Could it get any worse?

“Evy, breathe.”

Soft hands found hers, and two other pairs touched her shoulders, left and right. When she finally opened her eyes again, she found herself looking at three faces, three faces that shielded her from prying eyes.

When she had calmed down a bit, Liv, Evan and Jamie helped her up and led her to the nearest bathroom to freshen up.