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Bittersweet Suffering

Mini Prologue

Mini Prologue

Nov 23, 2020

-Year 30XX—

In recent years, humankind has been advancing rapidly in technology. The line between A.I.s and man has been blurred to the point where people can no longer easily tell the difference. However, despite the advancement in technology, the problems society continues to face has quite unsurprisingly been unable to decrease in number. In my country, there are many cities. In the Midwest of our country there lies a decently sized city known as Nattahnam, which is where I live. The area has some tall buildings about 4000 stories high. Some run-down houses used to be called apartments, corporations that take up a small part of the city but a large part of our city's innerweb malls. We have rivers of glass, and a few national parks, the biggest ones in our quadrant.

On the East side of passing the road of Valley Green, there stands an old white house, dating back to the early 2000s. Only a half dozen vehicles park in the concrete driveway. A metallic ramp is laid in the place of stairs leading to the electric front door. If one would turn their head a bit too the right, they could almost see the inside of a room, if not for the curtains. Lowering one’s head a pond would come into view. Any passersby could tell that pond has not been cleaned in quite some time, and most of them would not care.

Anyone can be said to have individual experiences. Yes, most go through life carrying their own metaphorical baggage. Some baggage will change you, but some will be easily let go, others may stay with you for a lifetime.

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Panqiuyan
Pan Qiu Yan

Creator

Hey everyone, I would like your opinion on what you think of my writing style. Please don’t be afraid to speak honestly. Tell me whether you like the first-person perspective or third on this story.

Comments (2)

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Eloise
Eloise

Top comment

So you first asked about first-person perspective. I'd say: have no worries. This writing style is, as far as I know, the one that makes your readers feel more familiarized with the story, and mostly with the MC. It's like they're us, us living the story ourselves. Makes sense? Anyway, I think your writing is cool so far.
Content-wise, maybe you should be a lil' more descriptive. Though I, as a reader, do like discovering things smoothly as the story goes, I also think we, as writers, should never forget that readers can't see our minds; so maybe while we are presenting the tale part by part, we are forgetting we are using things only we know. Don't take this too seriously, bc being too descriptive is also tiring for readers. There must be a faint line in between, and I think you're pretty close to it.

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Bittersweet Suffering
Bittersweet Suffering

2.8k views15 subscribers

Qiu Yan was born with a disability. Living became dull for her. Wishing for a different life. One day her life takes an unexpected change. An alternative world opens up to her. Can she learn to love living or will she be trap by the weight of her own making?
cover by Beuliji
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Mini Prologue

Mini Prologue

489 views 6 likes 2 comments


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