The day passes into the next as I made numerous arrangements during the night and arrived at Mari's apartment building the following dawn.
"Sure gets cold in the early mornings."
Breathing into my cuffed palms, we take the elevator up to the seventeenth floor as the silence of the building only made me feel anxious.
"It's. Not as cold, here."
Comparing it to the atmosphere of the forest, it is colder.
"Are you sure you want to come along? I know I asked you this already, but..."
With what's to come, I would prefer her to stay behind and wait. However, she insisted on following.
"I told you. I will follow."
"..."
She'll have her way, whether I like it or not.
Reaching Mari's room, I motion to the girl as she then shakes her head before we enter.
"Sorry, Mari but. I have no other choice. Forgive me."
The apartment, though well in design, the security isn't too severe. Even a swipe card can be duplicated if you know the ins and outs.
Proceeding forth in small steps, it appears Mari has yet to wake up. I leave the door to the girl as make my way to Mari's room on the second floor.
"...Henrik..?"
"..."
Before I could even enter her room, her door's wide open as my name she already realises it's me.
"You know? Or rather... You knew I'd come back."
"..."
She doesn't answer as I enter her room, without flicking the light switch, I sit against her table as she's up in bed, avoiding eye contact.
"No... It's because no one else comes here. Or, has the card. But, that's not the real one, is it?"
"It isn't. Someone I'm familiar with has his ways."
"...Why are you back, Henrik? Are you here just to torment me?"
"...It's not that."
There's something else I should say, or rather do. I'm not so sure if she'd allow me to act, or understand my intentions behind them.
"...You know. If I didn't step back, you wouldn't have seen me today."
Looking off to the side, despite the closed curtains it's as if she can see beyond it, perhaps what's even beyond the horizon.
"What do you mean?"
Looking to me, the look in her eyes and gloomy expression. I immediately realise just what she meant.
It's the look of one who has lost everything of worth. One who has given up on living, but too afraid to end things themselves; only until their minds grow numb to the point they don't think about anything, could they take the plunge.
But... They're not cowards. And if they are, we're all cowards, afraid of life after death.
So, they'll keep living as husks, pretending to be human. Sometimes pretending that they still have something to live for, something to look forward to. Believing in a lie to push them forward into the unfortunate future.
I've seen it all too many times and when I did... I couldn't care less.
But now... Things are different, it's enough to make my stomach churn. Enough, for gastric acid to rise as I gag.
"...It's funny. I thought, it'd be so easy. Just a simple move, and it'd all be over."
"Mari... You-"
"But... It wasn't, it wasn't at all... I-..."
Words get caught up as she stutters, clutching her trembling body, it was as though she'd shatter into pieces.
"I couldn't make that step... No matter what I did, I tried... I tried and tried and tried, but... Why? Why couldn't I have done it?! All I had to do was to take that step; to take that jump!"
"..."
Ending your own life isn't easy. No matter what people say, it's definitely not the easy way out.
"...I... I just, don't know... Just what am I doing?"
Looking over to her dresser, the shopping bags are tossed aside as clothes piled up against her make up stand, with numerous bottles of perfume lay against the table surface.
"...Tell me, Henrik. Just, why are you here? Is it pity? You're not here for me, are you?"
"Mari... I truly do care for you. It's just..."
"Just what?!"
Rising from her bed in rising frustration, she strikes at me with her arm as I grab it and hold. Her eyes, filled with tears, she looks at me with conviction.
"I... Can't betray her. And I know, you can't forgive me. But please, let me finish what I started. Allow me to end what's causing you to suffer."
"...Suffer? What do you mean? You're the one who's causing all of this..."
"..."
Unable to deduce what she means, she takes her arm back as she falls against her bed.
"...You're going to kill him? What will that do? If he knows about this, then just what will happen? Where will I go? Or better yet, what will happen to me?"
I guess it wasn't so hard to figure out. However, she's only caught a fraction of it all.
Rustling through my pocket, I hop off the table, pulling out my safe house key as I offer it to her.
"51 Orvel avenue... Go there and wait for me."
Eyeing the key in my hand, she then looks to me.
"...You... You're not serious? ...Y-You're... you're going to...-"
With the look of shock, I take her arm and place the key upon her palm.
"Why..? Why are you doing this? You don't even...-"
Tears fill her eyes as she clasps the key to her chest.
"...It's because-"
Before I could finish, a loud bang resonates from downstairs, as several more follow.
"He's here."
The girl appears by the door, peering in.
"...What bad timing," with a sigh, I move to her, but before I could step outside, I turn back to Mari who's holding her head in fear, "When this is all over, you won't need to be afraid anymore. I'll make sure of it, so you can live for a better tomorrow, Mari."
Her body jolts before looking to me anxiously.
"...Wait, wait Henrik... You haven't even-"
"...I love you, Mari... That's why I'm doing this."
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