I thought about the topics that were discussed and it felt like I might have more to say if I was comfortable speaking in front of people. They all seemed to have gone through something as I have and maybe what I went through cannot as related to some of these people in the room; if not, I don’t want to feel pitted. I never wanted anyone to pity me about my past, but maybe it won’t be so bad if I were to slowly open up to them and can have a good relationship like I have with my friends from high school. Luis and I grew closer during our senior year and as promised he was by my side when I wasn’t feeling so well.

I rub my hands over my pants feeling nervous now, and within a couple of minutes, the group meeting finally came to an end. Everyone who stuck around continued their conversation as they hung around the snack table while I went over to Lucas and Andre, who were cleaning up. I helped put the chairs away as I was still a bit lost in my thought, wondering if I were to open up to them even when the meeting is over or if it was too early in our friendship for me to put so much trust in them about myself. The crowd decreased as the members leave the auditorium and I stood in the middle of the stage watching everyone still struggling with what I should do. Why do I always feel so small when I want to say something.

“Michael, are you leaving already?” Genevive asked as she saw me standing there and raised an eyebrow. “We’re still going out to eat if you want to stay or you have somewhere to be?”

I felt them all turn to me and I gripped the straps of my backpack as I’m holding it, “I’m not sure really.”

Lucas walked over and stood in front of me, “I’ll take you home if you want. We talked a little too long today and the bus runs late during the nights.”

“I don’t want to bother,” I mumbled, following him as he leads me back to the group. “And I’m sorry I wasn’t so involved with the discussions.”

“Oh, come on, you can be open with us when you want to,” Elaine said they all started settling down to sit on the floor of the stage. “Let Lucas take you home or join us to eat, but sit down and hang out a little longer.”

“We usually stay here to have our discussion and reflect a bit trying to see how the meeting went. Just to discuss what we need to change for the next meeting or see how everyone felt that we can bring up again or not,” Lucas said as he pulled me to sit beside him and gave me a smile. “I hope you at least enjoyed it and want to come back again.”

“It was all great. I wasn’t sure what to expect but the conversation was good and to see everyone speak out about the things they went through personally. It felt nice that there are some things that I can relate to from some people who shared their stories and some that I don’t know how I would have felt.” I said looking down as I’m fidgeting with my fingers trying to explain it adequately. “I wouldn’t mind coming back again next week.”

“Great! See, these are feedbacks we like to hear from newcomers.” Andre said clapping. “It's always an open space and we don’t want anyone to be uncomfortable that they would refuse to return again.”

“Yeah, trust us, we weren’t expecting you to join in so easily during the discussion because it is hard for new people and it’s not always easy speaking out to a room full of strangers that you never met,” Elaine said as she looked at me and gave me a smile. “You did fine just coming today.”

I looked at them, taking a breath, as I tried to find the words to respond and asked, “Can I be open about something? You guys have been nice to me… It’s great that you invited me, trying to make me feel comfortable, and I hope that also means we are friends as well.”

“Michael, we’re already friends,” Andre stated. “I’m sure that was obvious.”

“You can say whatever you want around us and we promise to never pass judgment among each other,” Genevive said, and everyone else nods. “We’ve all known each other within time and it’s to the point that we all feel like family. You were already welcome to our group since we first hung out.”

I felt my face flushed, feeling touched by her words, and it felt like the time Jennifer’s friends had also welcomed me to their group in high school. “Then, is it fine if I can bring up a few things about myself that I feel like you all should know?”

Everyone was nodding and encouraged me to continue.

I slowly took off my backpack trying to feel comfortable and put it on my lap, hugging it. “When I was in middle school, I was forced to come out to my dad and he refused to listen to me not wanting to understand me. The kids started to bull me that their taunt kind of affected me and I can be unsociable at times.”

“Damn. Kids can be ruthless.” Genevive said, shaking her head.

“They can. Trust me, I understand what you went through because they were doing the same thing to me.” Andre said, looking over at me. “They destroyed my belongings, find pink clothing in my lockers and they beat me up as well.”

“I had to transfer school after dealing with it for almost two years,” I replied and looked around at everyone. “You guys have been great… I hope you don’t mind it when I can’t be open or when I refuse to participate.”

“Well, from what I learned and grew up with: we don’t judge people. I mean, almost all of us are gay or have a history that we can relate to so we know how horrible it feels to be judged or to be rejected by people.” Lucas said as he stood up and walked over to me. “Come on, stand up.”

I curiously stood up as everyone else in the group followed along and I was caught off-guard as Lucas hugged me. Elaine followed after then Andre jumped in and I almost laughed when everyone else started joining in trying to hug every person. I looked down at the ground feeling a little self-conscious and it was a new feeling having these people wanting to comfort me; it was warm. Once everyone broke away from the hug, Lucas grabbed my backpack from the floor giving a signal for everyone to leave, and led me the way outside of the auditorium. Andre started locking the doors behind us and I could feel the fresh cool air when Lucas stood beside me.