You raise your hand to slap the shit out of me, but you manage to restrain yourself. The story’s over anyway, and you can finally close this garbage. But hold on, I’m not done yet! A secondary lesson for you: these choose-your-own-adventure types of stories are only as fun as the writer who controls them. So, when you’ve finished reading this and have to return to your own adventure, be sure to be a better writer for yourself than I was.