The wolf smelled death before he even reached the riverbank. He tried not to inhale too deeply, lest the nauseating stench make him lose his last meal. The human female with cloudy eyes had fed him a precious little sustenance and given him strange, salty-tasting water that had made him feel strong again. He had no idea what was in that water, but it had to have been something unnatural.

Akyvak looked out at the river. Two enormous objects lay on the opposite bank. They looked like black-and-white fish, but they were truly massive and didn’t look alive. That relieved him somewhat, because they looked more than big enough to swallow him whole.

He lifted his head up and howled for Mother and Tiluek. Tiluek was probably gone by then, but Akyvak had a sliver of hope that Mother might hear him. If nothing else, he wanted her to know that he was alive, and not as a Shade. He heard no reply.

Akyvak went upstream to where he knew the river was shallow enough to cross without swimming. As he neared the ford, he saw something that startled him. Another female human sat on the back of a red horse as it galloped across the crossing. Water splashed and rocks crashed beneath its feet. Immediately, a sense of apprehension filled him. It looked as if they were fleeing. From what?

Then Mother appeared on the opposite bank. She threw her head back in a screaming howl, then turned around and ran back into the woods. Mother. Akyvak sprinted across the ford, faster and faster, desperate to reach her. When his paws struck dry ground again, his back wounds throbbed, but he did not care. He noticed a little blood on the ground. That was when his heart sank down into his gut. The blood wasn’t his. It was Mother’s.

He followed Mother’s tracks and found more blood. At first, it was only a few red spots here and there, but the farther he went, the more of it there was. Bright red splattered the snow, the trees, and the brush. He spotted Mother up ahead. She was slowing down.

Akyvak ran up beside her. A sharp stick with feathers attached jutted out of her side. She didn’t even seem to notice him until he barked at her to stop. The sight of him startled her. She yelped and then coughed up blood. Addled with pain and confusion, she snapped her jaws at Akyvak.

Akyvak recoiled with a whimper. Mother went on as quickly as she could. He followed her until she collapsed halfway back to their den, next to a lying figure that looked painfully familiar. Mother nuzzled into Tiluek’s cold flesh, searching for warmth and life that were long gone. She seemed to be in absolute denial of his sister’s death. Denial, Akyvak realized, that he himself had nurtured. Day in and day out, they had played with her reanimated corpse like it was still alive and nothing had changed.

He licked his mother’s head. Her eyes opened and turned to look at him. Finally, she seemed to understand who he was, though his lack of glowing Shade eyes confused her, clearly. Akyvak’s heart lifted for a moment. Mother. Then it tore into a thousand pieces.

Akyvak tried to think of something, anything he could do to save her. Perhaps that strange water could have helped, but he had no way of getting it to her. His power, perhaps. His secret song. He opened his mouth to sing, then stopped.

If he reanimated Mother and Tiluek, then yes, he would feel warm again for a time. But nothing could change their fates. Would he stay in the frozen forest forever, huddling into cold flesh for warmth? Waiting for dawn with his dead family, so dearly beloved?

A violent cough shook Mother’s body. He lay down beside her and Tiluek. He couldn’t accept that Mother was fading away. In a moment of pathetic selfishness, he sang.

His voice swelled louder than he had ever thought himself capable of. The sheer power that poured out from deep inside him was both exhilarating and terrifying. He knew not only that it was wrong, but that he was drawing on something even stronger than his abominable power. Still, he tried to reason through it. It must have been that water, he thought.

He opened his eyes without ever realizing he had shut them. His pale fur was stained all over with Mother’s blood. Mother’s front leg was around him and her head pressed against his, but she was cold. So, so cold. Akyvak jumped to his feet and nudged her frantically. When she did not wake up, he screamed into the sky.

Not only was Mother cold, his sister was gone without a trace. Not a pawprint. Not a tuft of fur. Not a drop of blood. Nothing. Akyvak fell back down next to Mother and wished he had died that night he had been attacked. But no, those vile humans had sought to prolong his life for whatever reason, just as he had prolonged the illusion of Tiluek’s life.

He dared not try and sing for Mother again. It seemed to have made Tiluek disappear, and he did not want to lose what little was left of Mother. He wanted to lie there with her forever. She might have left him, but could not bring himself to leave her.

Akyvak’s ears pricked when he heard hoofbeats. The horse stopped a few wolf-lengths away from him, and the human got off its back. The human screamed at him. He recoiled. The human, whom he recognized as the same one that had fled across the river, took a step closer. He backed away. Humans, Mother always said, were far more dangerous than their appearances suggested.

He watched, petrified, as the human picked Mother up and threw her onto the horse’s back. Only when she rode off did Akyvak’s rage explode. The human had taken Mother, and he wanted her back. He would do anything to get her back. He charged after them.

Akyvak could barely keep up. The cold had made his limbs stiff. Only a fierce devotion to the wolf who had loved him for his whole life drove him on. He chased them through the forest, across the ford, and into the sprawl of human dens. When he within range, Akyvak leaped into the air and collided with the human, knocking her off the horse. As the horse bolted off, Mother fell from its back as well. He pinned the human down and opened his jaws wide, ready to avenge Mother.

A hand seized the scruff of his neck. He inhaled sharply and smelled the male human who had given him shelter. The human pulled him away from Mother’s killer, and he howled in pure, terrible rage.

mother I love you don’t go don’t go away

He struggled, but somehow, the male human prevented his escape. Eventually, he stopped fighting. He had nowhere to run, no one to go to. The man lifted Akyvak out of the snow, almost tenderly. Akyvak wanted to tear his throat out. He wanted all of humankind to bleed like Mother had bled. Instead, he hung listless in the human’s arms. Though that human had done nothing but help him, he did not feel safe in the slightest sense.

He wondered if the man were taking him somewhere to die.

over cold dead sister

He wondered if Tiluek were still out there somewhere, waiting for him. Or maybe she was with Mother. He imagined Tiluek bounding toward Mother, and Mother meeting her in blissful reunion, so full of joy she’d never had in life. Whole and happy. Full of love.

Akyvak whimpered. He wanted to be with them again. Such an infantile desire, but it consumed him. He wanted the pain gone and his family back. That was all. How was it too much to ask for?