They say one should be happy when people die because it would mean that their suffering on earth has ended. They say one should accept the reality that our lives are not ours to keep forever and when someone dies, we just have to let go and keep moving forward.

When I saw my father's body disintegrate on the flames of the pyre, it's hard to agree to what they say. How can I be happy if the one who died is the person who gave me the opportunity to live? How can I move on if the person who believes in me will never ever be at my side again?

I stared at the placid waters of the lake as I recollect the memories of Marcus. He had been such a good father to me.

I don't deserve his sacrifice.

I'm nothing compared to him. If he lived today, he must have been doing well as one of the leaders. But me? I'm completely useless.

A lot of innocent people died and suffered because of me and yet here I am still living this life I don't deserve.

Why does he have to protect me?

I sighed as a prickle of tears threatened to come out. I blinked my eyes and suppressed the liquid to fall.

It has been three weeks since that fateful day and until now, I can't accept the fact that my hero is gone.

I felt someone's hand patted my shoulder. I looked up and saw Drake. On his back were the other pack members.

"You never visited the pack house." He said.

I just bit my lip and looked away back to the lake.

He sat beside me. "You know you can depend on us too Allen. We are your pack, we should support each other." Drake said.

I swallowed. "I don't deserve to be in your pack. I don't deserve to be a part of this clan. Kendrick was right. I'm nothing but a burden."

"Kendrick's an asshole." Drake muttered and I heard the sound of agreement from the others.

"We are here to help you cope up with this. In our world, this is normal. You have to learn to adapt. And we are ready to help you through it." Chris added.

I heaved out a deep sigh. They haven't given up on persuading me. Ever since the incident happened, they protected me at all cost but all I did was shut them out.

"But-"

Drake put his finger against my lip to silence me. "No more buts. You are coming with us and start a new day. We cannot just let you sit here looking so down every day. There's more to life than this."

And so I went with them back to the pack house and was rendered speechless with their surprise welcome celebration.

And for the first time in three weeks, I smiled.

...

The party had been great. They made me feel like I do belong in the pack. But Kendrick wasn't there. He is still angry of me for I was the reason why many people of Ravenwoods died-children and adult alike.

The bloodhounds were brutal. It took seven hours before the clan has finally succeeded in throwing them out of our borders.

But I know they are coming back. And it was because of me. They are after me and my blood.

I tossed around my bed. I cannot sleep. I cannot understand why they are after me. What is so special about my blood?

I decided to sit on the edge of the large bed. After almost a month of staying, I cannot seem to embrace the idea of getting used to living here in the Manor-living under the same roof with the Alpha and his son, Kendrick who hates every bit of me.

I cannot blame him. I, myself, feel guilty for all the things that had happened.

I stared at the antique cuckoo clock which tells that it's five minutes before midnight.

I decided to walk out of the room unsure of where to go. I just realized my feet brought me to the corridor which leads into a very huge wooden door.

There was a metal plate engraved with the name RAVEN HAYES in it.

My mind is telling me not to but it seems something is pulling me inside the room.

So I slowly turned the brass doorknob and after hearing a click, the door opened and warm air engulfed me like a warm welcome which took away the fear I had.

The room was wide. A large bed was situated near the closed windows. Just straight to the door was a hearth and hanging atop it was a large portrait of Raven Hayes in his twenty's

And it felt odd staring at him because his eyes seemed to be staring straight through me. Instead of being afraid, I felt safe.

Beside the bed was a side table with a quill and a bottle of dried ink on top.

But the thing that caught my attention was the small notebook in leather cover beside the quill.

I opened the pages and only one page has something on it and it states, you found me.

I shrugged at the scribble and closed the notebook back. I went to the hearth and noticed the antique chairs in front of it surrounding a center table with a single dried rose on a vase.

I decided to bring the vase out to fill it with new flowers when the morning comes. But I was halfway towards the door when I noticed that the dried rose fell off from the vase. Just when I was about to pick it up, it bloomed. The dried leaves were now fresh green and the rotten flower was in bright red.

Odd.

But I didn't freak out though. I just stared at it for a moment and put it back on the vase and back on the table.

I stared back at the portrait and I felt something very very strange. Something wonderful but hard to decipher.

I just shrugged my head and went out.

...

The next day I woke up early even if I slept late. I saw Lady Margaret preparing the large table for breakfast.

"Good morning Lady." I greeted with a low bow.

"Oh Allen!" She exclaimed. "How are you son?" She went straight to me and hugged me. "How are you?"

"I'm okay, I guess." I manage to reply in spite of her tight embrace.

It's just so hard to think that this woman is the mate of the Alpha. She's so flamboyant yet so elegant.

She pinched my cheeks. "That's better. Would you mind helping me?" She asked gesturing at the table.

"Not at all." I said.

"That's great. And it's been a while since someone has helped me in the kitchen." She said smiling. "And one more thing, don't call me Lady. Call me Mom."

"But."

She raised her finger. So I didn't bother arguing.

I ended up assisting her in preparing the breakfast and with just that little span of time, I grew fond of her. There's no wonder why people really like her. She is so good-hearted.

I wonder why Kendrick didn't inherit this attitude.

Speaking of him, I haven't seen him after the incident.

"Uhm, Lady, I mean Mom." Awkward. "Where is Kendrick?" I asked.

"Ken is at his room." She said while humming some sort of a happy tune.

I just nodded.

Why am I looking for him? He hates me.

Just then I felt someone's eyes boring at me.

"Oh look he's here." Lady Margaret announced as she carefully placed each plate on the table.

I don't need to turn around to find out who. Just the feeling gets me to the idea that Kendrick is at the kitchen door.

I stiffened.

"Are you okay Allen?" I heard the Lady asked.

I nodded but she exclaimed. "Your eyes turned blue!"

Unsure what to do, I turned around and saw Kendrick's eyes looked straight into mine. And his were in deep yellow like he is on the verge of shifting.

Then he turned around and walk away. I then suddenly felt weak. I was so glad that the chair was behind me for support.

Staring him walking away feels painful deep inside. Why?

...

After the breakfast with the Lady, I went straight to the pack house. I saw that all of the pack members were already there.

I was at the door when I felt someone embraced me from the back.

"Glad that you're here." Drake said behind me. I could feel his hard muscles wrapping around me.

"Yeah. But I will be glad if you remove your hands off me so that I can breathe." I said.

He chuckled. "Oops."

Then all of us practically shut up when we heard footsteps coming down on the stairs. Moments later, we saw Kendrick.

And that very moment, I wish I hadn't look at him. Why does he had to look so handsome with that tight, white shirt and blue faded jeans?

His authority is reverberating around the room and when his gaze fell upon me, I wanted to cower in fear. I just swallowed and I was glad Drake was beside me. He can catch me in case my knees buckle.

I could actually hear my heart beats.

"Tonight will be our pack's schedule for doing rounds. Chris, your group will cover the west borders, Drake, yours will be on the east.

Groups. They have groups. How about me?

"Uhm, Allen will be in my group. Will that be okay?" Drake asked as if hearing my thoughts.

Kendrick tilted his head towards us. "He can't shift. He's useless. He'll slow you down. He'd better stay here." Kendrick said and with that he went back to his quarter upstairs.

I'm useless.

I really hate him!

But something inside me disagrees.

I just rolled my eyes.

Drake patted my back. "I'm fine. He's right anyway." I said.

"But you'll still be in my group." He insisted.

"Okay then." I said.

"Good." He said and tousled my hair.

"Will you stop messing with my hair?" I grunted.

Drake just chuckled.

Later that day, the pack members were outside discussing about the rounds tonight. Since I don't have much of idea for that matter, I decided to go to the kitchen and baked some cookies.

The moment I took them out of the oven, the kitchen was automatically filled with half naked men staring at me-err- that sounded gross, they were looking at the cookies with hungry eyes.

I smirked at the view.

"Can we have one?" Chris asked.

"Well, I basically made it for everybody so enjoy yourselves." I said and placed the basket on the table.

Well, somehow the effort is worth it. Just seeing them eat makes me smile.

"How about you?" Drake asked still with a cookie in between his lips.

"Nah. I'm fine." I said.

"This is really good." He added as he took another bite.

The room was filled with laughter and I can't help but laugh with them.

However, the room hushed when Kendrick entered. I stared at him. Well, basically, all of us were staring at him but the difference is that I was staring at him with lust.

What?

I can't believe I thought of that. Ugh.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. He walked towards the pitcher then remove its lid and took a big gulp of water from it.

I could see his Adams apple move with every gulp and I think I'm hyperventilating. I was thankful that he was wearing a shirt or I would be drooling now.

Goodness, what is wrong with me?

He put down the pitcher, now empty. Then he stared at us. "What?" He asked.

Some of the members fake coughed and the others just pretended to ignore him and continue on what they were doing. While I, on the other hand, put on my poker face and turned towards the sink.

Awkward.

“Oh, by the way Ken, I was wondering if you are going to join us tonight during the rounds?” Drake asked which caused for the uncomfortable silence to pass through as if it didn’t happen.

“No.” He said rather impassively. “I will be doing the usual. I will just meet you at your respective posts.” He added and based on the sound of the footsteps, he seemed to be exiting the kitchen.

I turned around to give him a final look before he disappears behind the door. But it was a mistake because he came to a halt and turned around. “What was that delicious-smelling food you were eating just a moment ago?” He asked.

“Oh that?” Chris chimed. “That’s cookies.”

“Cookies.” Kendrick repeated.

Drake nodded in agreement and took the last one from the basket he was carrying with in his arms and then put it whole inside his mouth ending in a delicious crunch. “And did I ever tell you that this is the tastiest cookie that I have ever tasted?” Drake bragged in between chewing.

“Who made it?” He asked.

And their eyes landed on me. Kendrick’s eyes followed that made me look behind awkwardly and when I looked back at them, to Kendrick specifically, I just saw the most disgusted look ever.

“I’m glad I didn’t get the chance to eat one.” He said and walked out of the kitchen.

“What’s he talking about?” Chris asked. “If I was not able to eat one of Allen’s cookies, I would kill myself.”

Somehow, I managed to laugh.