“You suck at card games, Kaz.”
“I’ll win this next time for sure.” Kaz shuffled the deck of playing cards again.
Rummaging through Kaz’s bag of goodies, I pulled out a pack of candy hearts. I plopped a couple pieces in my mouth as Kaz dealt me my hand again. We gathered in the living room to play card games like Black Jack and Rummy. It was somewhat entertaining at first, but it got boring when Kaz kept losing.
Sydney and I sat on the sofa while Kaz had pulled up a chair to the coffee table. Kaz pushed his glasses up to the bridge of his nose as he handed out our cards again.
“This is getting boring,” I told them.
Kaz paused his shuffling. “You wanna watch a movie instead? I rented a bunch of rom-com’s from the Redbox.”
“Not really,” I admitted.
“Well, what do you wanna do?” Sydney twirled one of her red curls around her finger.
“Snoop around for the bastard who tried to kill me,” I replied.
Sydney said, “You know we can’t do that. Adam’s out there now trying to find the bastard.”
“I feel so useless.” I sighed and stretched out. My colorful Mickey Mouse sweater raised up, exposing the bandage on my belly. I quickly tugged it back down.
“You’re not useless, Everly.” Kaz rummaged through his plastic bag for a pack of M&M’s. He plopped some in his mouth. “I know it sucks now, but I’m sure Adam will find the guy. If not, Emmett will, and you’ll never have to worry about him again. You already know what he’ll do.”
“Emmett’s not a detective, despite how much he tries to act like it,” I replied. “Adam and Chris are more likely to find the person responsible.”
Kaz shrugged. “Maybe.”
Sydney reached over and stole a handful of M&M’s from Kaz. He playfully swatted her hand away as she giggled.
“You should give me another tattoo someday,” Kaz said to Sydney. “Maybe I could even get a sleeve like yours. I think they’re so cool.”
Sydney grinned, proudly showing off her tattoos on her arms. “Thank you. I’d love to get you inked. Just drop by my shop whenever you want. Rebels get a discount too, you know.”
“How long would I have to wait until you could give me another tattoo?” I asked her, folding my arms across my chest. “I’ve thought about getting one to honor our baby. Maybe you can help me pick it out too?”
Sydney’s an exceptional tattooist. She gave me all three of my tattoos so far at her parlor, Ink About It, downtown. The first one was on my shoulder; a tiny cartoon elephant playing the piano. The second was the Voiceless Rebels gang tattoo; the wolf howling at the moon, and the third was an anchor with colorful flowers on my thigh.
“That would be a better question for your doctor,” she replied. “But I’d recommend several months, considering your injuries. You don’t want to risk infection. When you’re ready, I’d love to help.”
“You gave me my gang tattoo four months after I got stabbed in the shoulder though,” Kaz pointed out. “Why does she have to wait so long?”
“Yeah, I know, but that was a different injury too,” Sydney explained. “A knife wound. Everly got shot and miscarried. It’s gonna take her longer to heal.”
“I see,” Kaz murmured.
“That’s all I’ve heard these past few days.” I groaned. “You need to rest. You need to take time to heal. You need to lock yourself up in your house like a hermit.” I mimicked in a rude tone.
“Resting can be boring, but it’s what your body needs,” Sydney said. “You won’t get better if you don’t listen to your doctors.”
“Emmett’s been shot and overdosed several times, yet the most time he takes to rest is a day or two,” I told her. “Why can’t I be strong like that? Adam says it’s just because he’s an addict, but I don’t know. Maybe I’m just weak.”
“Why do you think we get so addicted?” Kaz placed the cards on the table. He had a solemn look in his gaze. “We abuse the drugs so we don’t feel pain anymore. It gives us a high that’s out of this world, like we can do anything. It’s an amazing sensation, I won’t lie to you about that, but it comes with a deadly price. Don’t ever go near any of that stuff.”
I sighed. “I never said I would. I just wish I could numb all the pain somehow.”
“Pain helps keep ya alive. You’ll get through this.” Sydney rubbed my shoulder. “We’ll be here whenever you need us too, ain’t that right, Kaz?”
Kaz smiled, exposing two dimples. “Absolutely. We’re just a call or text away.”
“Once you’re feeling better and off all the pain meds, we can all smoke some weed together, okay?” Sydney grinned. “I think it’ll help you relax a bit. I can’t imagine how stressed and scared you gotta be.”
“Yeah, sure. We can do that.” I turned my attention to the window, where raindrops raced down the glass. “If I haven’t been murdered by then.”
Sydney’s smile faded, mouth gaping slightly. “Jesus, Everly. Don’t say shit like that.”
“You know Adam would never let anything happen to you,” Kaz said.
Adam would do anything to protect me, I knew that. Part of me also realized something like that night at the aquarium could happen again too. Despite having my friends with me and the video surveillance cameras Adam put up, I couldn’t relax. Whoever tried to kill me still hid in the shadows of New Syracuse, waiting for another chance to shoot the bullet straight through my head this time.
I would never be able to heal or feel safe until he was off the streets. Lock him in a cell until he rotted or bury him alive out in the woods. I just didn’t want to live in fear anymore.
💀
Wrapped up Adam’s strong arms was the safest place ever. He got home not too long ago, and I couldn’t resist wanting to cuddle up with him on the couch while he told me about his discoveries.
“A witch paid the kid to snoop around my house?” I asked in disbelief. “I feel like I’m in the freaking Twilight Zone.”
“Well, I think he meant she looked like a witch,” Adam clarified.
“You know where we can find this witch?”
Adam stroked his fingers through my hair. “Nope, I don’t got a damn clue. Which pisses me off.”
“I know you’re doing your best.” I kissed a trail up his neck to his soft lips.
“How are you feeling today? You hurting anywhere?” Adam’s warm hands massaged my hips.
“I’m okay,” I told him. “I took some pain killers earlier.”
“Good, I’m glad to hear that. You have fun with your friends?” he asked. “Did you kick Kaz’s ass in Black Jack?”
“Sure did.” My gaze wandered to the window, where I couldn’t help but wonder if someone watched us from a distance.
“You okay?” Adam’s knuckles brushed up against my cheek. “You keep spacing out. Something on your mind?”
“I’m just... scared.”
“Honey, you know I won’t let anyone hurt you here. I know I couldn’t do much that night, but I’m on guard now, okay? I won’t let the fucker fool me this time.”
I smiled and snuggled up in his protective arms. Fear still crept in the back of mind, but I allowed myself to enjoy our moment together. Before word of our relationship traveled through the Voiceless Rebels gang, we used to sneak out to spend time with each other. Remembering those days warmed my heart. We were like high school kids going around our parents backs.
“When my wound’s healed, Sydney’s gonna give me a tattoo that’ll honor our baby,” I told him. “I want to get it on my stomach, if I can.”
“That’s sweet of her. You know what you’ll get?” Adam asked.
“I’m not sure yet. Sydney’s gonna help me.”
“It’ll be something lovely, just like all your other tattoos.” Adam kissed my forehead.
We got ready for bed when nightfall came. Despite how tired I was, sleeping scared me. The night terrors did too. I had them almost every night since I got shot. They always felt too vivid. Someone could easily break in and attempt to kill me in my own bed too. If only I could stay up all night.
Nighttime scared me the most because that’s when I got shot. That’s when I lost our baby. That’s when I almost died.
The wind howled, beating against the house like it wanted inside. Snow flurries danced across the sky from the opened curtains I needed to shut. Anyone could be watching us with them opened.
Careful of my healing wound, I got up and stepped over to the window. Nothing appeared out of the ordinary. Snow blanketed our street in thin layers, untouched by lurking killers. I curled up on my mattress beside Adam, snuggling close to him, but not even his comforting presence chased away the nightmares.
💀
Cries from a distressed newborn filled the room. I tried to move closer to the sound. My body hurt too much. I couldn’t feel my legs. All I saw was blood. Despite how it pained me to move, I forced myself to crawl across the floor. I followed the trail of blood. The cries got louder. Until I saw them slumped up against the stove.
Adam’s face was so bloody. Why would someone shoot him so much? The baby in his arms didn’t look harmed. He just cried. His daddy’s blood dripping all on his onesie.
I jolted awake, tears trickling down my cheeks as I struggled to calm my breathing. The whir of the bedside fan was the only loud noise in the quiet room. Adam slept soundly beside me. A soft whistling came from his nose, relieving me that he was still alive.
It was just another vivid nightmare. Yet, it all felt so real.
For a moment, I laid there and stared up at the ceiling. I found myself cradling my stomach, imagining what it would’ve felt like as our baby grew inside me. Probably strange at first, maybe?
I’m sure I’d complain to Adam all the time, especially if I had some bizarre cravings at weird hours in the night. It would’ve been rough on us at first with a newborn, but we’d make it work. We always do. Getting pregnant hadn’t been planned, but now I want a baby more than anything else in the world. It scared me to consider trying to have one. What if I miscarried again? What if the bullet somehow damaged me, and I can never have kids? What if Adam started to resent me when I couldn’t give him a son or daughter?
The thought of giving birth scared me more than anything before, but now I wished I’d had the chance to experience it. At least all the pain would’ve been worth it after I got to hold our baby.
How could someone I never got to hold or see steal such a huge chunk of my heart and shatter it in a million pieces?
Before I could ever try for another baby, we had to get rid of the bastard who tried to kill me. I wouldn’t feel safe enough bringing a child into our lives with him lurking around. Who knew what else he was capable of doing?
I shivered just thinking about it. I knew I had to be brave and watch my back at all times. I needed to calm down before I gave myself a heart attack. I couldn’t let negativity drown me. That nightmare just got me all riled up. I’d be fine.
Gently, I climbed out of bed. I made sure not to wake Adam, who snoozed away, and crept into the kitchen. Some tea would be wonderful. Anything to calm my nerves.
After I got my cup of tea made, I sat down on the love seat in the living room. I couldn’t get the horrible images from that nightmare out of my mind. I tried to think of happier things, anything to forget the gruesome dream. Not only did I worry about my safety, but Adam’s too. The person who shot me might try to harm him next. We were dealing with someone unhinged. There was no telling what he could be capable of doing to us.
As the wind got stronger outside, I curiously went to peek out the window. The street was dead. The weather had been below freezing every night lately. Not even the psycho could withstand such chilling temperatures. But it made me realize something more ominous. It would be so simple for me to disappear into the winter night without a trace, never to be seen again.
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