We have been getting used to being babies, it was weird at first because people would come in whenever we would cry. They would try to play with toys for us, and try feeding us and cradling us. I stopped crying so much, I thought it would be okay to cry since I am still a baby, and babies cry, but people keep worrying when we cry. So we both stopped crying so much, only when we needed to eat or change. Sometimes we both wake up in the middle of the night and just stare at the ceiling. It is a bit boring sometimes.

“So, Yukine... are you hungry?”

“No.”

“Are you wet?”

“Please don’t say it like that, and no.” 

He does this sometimes when he is bored, we agreed not to cry when it wasn’t important, so he is trying to find a reason so that people will play with him. I don’t blame him, it is boring staring at the ceiling just thinking sometimes.

"Binky?"

"You mean pacifier, we already have those."

"Oh come on, act more like a baby."

"Don't call me a ba- oh, I am a baby." I laughed

“...Are you tired but can’t sleep?”

“That’s a new question, no I am not tired, but I want to sleep.” 

I don’t like when we cry because if one of us cries, we both start crying, and it hurts my ears.

“Can I just cry so someone will hold us.” I give in to him in these times because I am bored.

“Okay, I am bored too, so go ahead but not too loud please.”

“Alright.” 

He started crying and sure enough I followed soon after, I can’t help my baby body at these times, we are only 2 weeks old. We heard one of the maids say that they had to whisper around us for up to a month.

Some maids came in and held us, they did the whole routine. Bottle? Diaper? Binky? Eventually they just sat and held us while in a rocking chair with pacifiers in our mouth. We settled down and I noticed a new person. He is a tall man, although everyone is tall to us so I don’t know if he is really that tall. He had blonde hair, I believe he is a fox, he is wearing a guards uniform, is he our guard? I was staring at him while thinking, I think it made him uncomfortable because he sighed while scratching his head and left. I am not sure he likes us.

I fell asleep and next thing I knew it was morning. I yawned and stretched a little. Our father usually visits us about once a day, in the morning, it is usually before we wake up but I can feel when he sometimes picks me up and holds me to his chest sometimes. I wonder why he doesn’t come more when we are awake. Today he came in before I woke up, he laughed when he saw me stretch and yawn.

“You are pretty funny.” He said in a soft fatherly tone.

“Awwggput.” You are one to talk.

“Oh really, tell me more.” He said as if he could understand me. He chuckled.

“Awhhhfffssh.” See? Funny.

I am trying to talk, but it just comes out as gibberish, although I like when my dad acts like he can understand me. I turn my head to look at my brother, he is still asleep, I move back to look at my father. He looks over and looks at Fuyuki, and then back to me. He gets up and stands over my crib. This is the first time I am getting a good look at him, I can tell that Fuyuki looks like him, the same white hair, although I couldn’t Fu's eyes, I wonder what I look like, or if I look the same as Fu again. Our mother also has white hair, but she has green eyes. I am just looking at my father, his clothes suggest he is a noble. I am curious as to what rank he is. With his fur cape, he looks like a royal, I wonder if he is. He has a white beard. Looks good on him.

He walks over to the side of my crib and puts his face closer to mine, it is weird but it doesn’t feel awkward like it would if it were someone else. Is it because I am a baby? He put his hand next to my head, and rubs his thumb on my cheek. Is It because I have very soft skin, but his hands are rough. I think he needs support, I don’t know how I know, but I can feel what I need to do.

I reach my arms out to him, kick my feet and laugh. He smiles and picks me up wrapping me in a blanket so I won't get cold. He sits in the rocking chair while holding me, adjusting my blanket, he rocks in the chair while looking at me and smiling, I was playing with a part of his cape that was hanging over his shoulder. I was so distracted playing with it, that I didn’t realize he dozed off, he must be pretty tired. Maybe that is why he doesn’t come visit often. He was holding me in a way that I wouldn’t fall, so I fell asleep too.

When I woke up, I was still in my father’s arms, but in some other room with some kind of desk. He was working on some papers, and I was being held close to him, he didn’t realize right away when I woke up, so I was just watching him. He works fast but he is also pretty good at it. I got a glimpse of one of the papers, it was in some language I couldn’t understand. So that means we will have to learn a new language.

He spent a good 10 minutes before he realized I was awake, the whole time, I didn’t feel like he would drop me either, it was actually really comfy. I kinda wish he would hold me more often, the maids are kind of stiff, and I don’t really trust them all that much, maybe because in those anime, it is usually the maid that tries to kill the MC first. I can tell my brother feels the same way too. That isn’t the case with our father though, he feels warm and comforting, he speaks softly and is so gentle. Is this what it is like having an actual father? My adopted father was always cold to me, I could tell that my adopted mother is the one that wanted kids, but they couldn’t have any of their own for certain reasons.

Once he realized I was awake he leaned back in his chair, he held me up above him from my underarms then set me on my stomach on his chest.

“Good afternoon young Yukine.”

“Nnnmmmm.” Good afternoon.

It is still weird waking up so late at times.

“Are you hungry? You haven’t eaten yet.”

“Aggpuff.” Yes. I am.

He sat up and held me up to his shoulder.

“Well what do you feel like eating?” He says that like I have options.

“Aaawwwwaaa” A HUGE STEAK PLEASE.

“Milk it is.”

“Ooohhhww” Nooo. I knew you would do that.

He called in the nurse for a bottle of milk. Wait. He is gonna feed me? It is the first time he is feeding me, I mean I trust him, but it is weird having a guy feed me. He grabbed the milk and put me on my back in his arms. He looked at the milk like he was studying it in a lab... It is just milk. He shook the bottle and looked at it again. I reached out my arms.

“Ahh ahh.” I want my food, I am hungry.

He laughed and said. “Alright, alright. Here you go.”

He put it in my mouth and I drank it. I usually have my eyes closed while eating because I know people are watching and I don’t want them to watch me eat, but I had my eyes open this time and I was looking at the bottle. I knew he was looking at me but I didn’t feel uncomfortable though, in fact it was the opposite, I felt safe. I think he was checking if my bottle was poisoned or something. What is it about him that makes me feel like this, is it because he is my dad? Is this what is it like having a father that loves you?