This day went by quick, I went back to the band and practised, with way more breaks, because I wanted to be ready for the date later. After we finished, Jake went over to me whispering “So is it Cheonsa, did you two fix the mistake with you running away?” He looks at me exited. I ask, “Why are you so excited, and no its someone else.” After I said that his face went blank, “So he didn’t accept your apology?” he asks, “I don’t know if I even apologized.” I respond rubbing my head, “You... don’t... know?!?” He gives me a look of confusion. “How can you forget whether you apologized to your CRUSH!” he yells. “Calm down bro, no need to get loud with it.” He looks down at his phone and replies: “Listen I’ll talk to him for you. Cause now I know you just accepted a random guy from (the dating app) cause you want to forget about Cheonsa.” Wow, he knows me well... “No, please don’t do that. I'll find someone else okay.” He nods, and put his phone in his pocket, he lifts his arm and lay it down on my shoulder, and then he says, “Okay I won’t, good luck with the date and all.” He smiles as he walks away.

-

It's finally 8 pm and I’ve dressed in the nicest long sleeve I could find, being a white one, with some blue stripes. I have some slim jeans on me and black bowling like shoes, being dark blue. I go to the receptionist, she smiles at me, having blonde hair, with some dark brown stripes at the top. She’s wearing a black and white suit; she has dark blue eyes. She asks with a soft voice “Name?” I look at her and respond with “Huh?” why would she need my name for anything. “You need to book a table with your name to get a table.” She says looking a bit irritated. Omg, that makes total sense, I’m so slow! Then I hear a deep voice say, “He’s with me don’t worry.” It's him, it's my date, he’s taller than I expected, almost a head taller. This already is giving me red flags, but I already knew this was a bad idea before I accepted it. I must at least give him a shot, maybe he's not as a narcissist as he seems. It's only his height.

We sit down at a table in the middle of the restaurant, I look around at the other tables, almost all of them are filled with straight couples eating together, the rest is just empty. We are the only gay couple out here. I regret this more and more. It feels like there are people judging me everywhere. I really shouldn’t have gone on this date. I look at my date, he seems so calm. Why is it only me that feels uncomfortable? Does he see that I’m uncomfortable? I look down at the menu, I try to forget the people around me. What to eat, I think but the sweat is getting worse!

He looks at me, then he smiles. Wtf! Does he think this is funny! He says while looking at the menu “You figured what you want yet?” He looks up with his eyes at me. No, no I haven’t, cause I’m too worried about people around me. He then says something that makes my anxiety go to the roof! “If you’re a good boy ill-treat you with dessert” He gives me a dirty look. He’s already thinking about getting his dick sucked!!! That’s it, I should just get out of here right now!

I get up from my chair and say, “could you excuse me for a second.” He replies with “Alright, but if you aren’t quick enough, I’ll order whatever I want to you.”

I go inside the bathroom, I can smell my sweat of fear, its god awful, I almost faint by the smell itself. I take off my white long sleeve and the white t-skirt underneath. I get a handful of hand soap on my hand and rub it on both my armpits. I wash it off, then wash my face. I then look at myself in the mirror. What have I gotten myself into, it has never gone this bad before. Now I really regret, running away from Cheonsa. I feel the cold water dripping from my wet hair and running down my face down to the sink. My arms had a hard grip on the sink, my whole body is depending on my hands. My arms start shaking. My vision gets more and more blurry. My legs start shaking as well. Now there’s just a matter of minutes before ill fall. I’ve never had a panic quite like this one in a long time.

I hear someone else get inside the bathroom. I turn to look who it is, and then everything gets shaky, and my legs and arms fail me. I see more and more of the ugly green/blue wall. Then everything slowly fades to black, and then I feel like a brick was thrown on my back part of my head.

It's so dark in here. I start shivering... Is this the end? Am I dead? What a stupid way to die... Oh well, I brought it on myself.

-

Thanks for reading!

I was planning a scene of Sirens date r*ping him, but I felt that it got way too dark for this story, and I felt that an anxiety attack fit better to the overall theme of the story, and made his date be more of a normal human. Anyway, hope you like this story 🥺❤️❤️

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