Heavenly curly, shoulder-length brunette with smooth skin faultlessly tanned by the Australian sun. The purest, sky blue eyes of which shined as the ocean did at dawn. His suit was cool, deep coal, of which folded perfectly over his every crevice and the cuffs displayed rose golden pins rims coated with blackened crystals; everyone would know that his suit was custom.
My hair was dark and kinky, deep brown eyes of which he said any girl could get lost in. My skin was clear, my suit was rose golden. Every fabric particle glistened in the sunlight, and my cream undershirt, a silky satin, felt foreign on my skin.
I’d pulled him away from the chaos minutes before the ceremony in order to visit the venerable eucalyptus tree at which we had promised ourselves to each other; I remembered that childhood promise like it was yesterday.
He shifted his weight onto the tree, and I slid my arm around a branch just above my shoulder. His eyes glistened as the sunrise reflected onto them, this time like a small lake under the night sky. A gentle smiled tickled his cupid’s bow. At that moment, I wanted him so inexhaustibly that my desire felt almost insatiable. Leaning over him, I searched his eyes; his pupils dilated. Expected, but- I couldn’t stop. Gently, I placed my hand on his cheek and stroked it once for the first and last time. His breath hitched as I touched him. What? This had never happened before.
It was our moment. My last chance to hold him before he was torn out of my weakened grasp. My heart throbbed just looking at him. I wanted more. I’d always wanted more; ever since that day when we were kids.
“Grapeseed.” I retreated as I spoke, “Grapeseed on your cheek,” I shifted and gazed at the sunset.
“Tsk, Khalil…I remember.” He spoke as his stance loosened; my body tensed.
“Remember what?” I breathed. He stepped closer to me, tapped the tree with his knuckles.
“Here.” I looked down to see the base of the tree as he spoke. “We…eloped.” He remembered. I instantly searched his eyes…for anything. The buzz of the church bell shook me to my core. Ten O’clock. Damn.
Ethan’s eyes met mine and he sighed deeply and looked at me like he had never before. His eyes were…waiting. Like he wanted me to say something. His body language made it obvious that he didn’t want to leave. Instead, he looked almost like he refocused, then stood up and said goodbye, walking in the direction of the venue.
That was it. In under 15 minutes, we were both standing at the altar. His smile was as pure as gold and his hands enclasped the beautiful woman whom he loved; we were all staring at him.
“I do,” Ethan voiced.
With those words, our kiss, our marriage, our only intimate connection was erased from his memory. I braced myself as tears threatened to come crashing down like a dam about to rupture. No, you must persevere.
The priest uttered the words, “You may kiss the bride.” Yes, the beautiful, golden-haired, ocean eyed bride; everything I wasn’t.
Two hours, and the newlyweds had called for a toast. Ethan looked at his bride with the most content I had ever seen him withhold. And then-
“A toast, to our unborn son, Benjamin Ambers.” He smiled from cheek to cheek, and met her lips again. The pavlova was suddenly bitter, rancid; inedible. Alas, I realised…that the bass in my voice was exactly what kept our relationship at bay. I spat the food into a napkin. “Khalil, you alright?” Ethan asked. I felt his hand on my shoulder and could feel the alcohol on his breath, warm and humid on the back of my neck, but knew that looking into his eyes would cause my trembling dam to rupture. “S-Something happened at home, excuse me.” I needed to leave. The tears wouldn’t stop forming. Everyone was staring. The bumble of the venue all became muted and muffled. The overwhelming scent of alcohol stiffened. My eyesight was blurred by my tears. “Goodbye.” was the last thing I said before I stumbled outside.
My wedding. My lover. She had everything… just because she was a woman. Why should I have had to accept that she lies in bed with the one I love. I deserved happiness, and if I wasn’t allowed that, then I might as well have…
Unconscious, my body toppled over the icy rails of the Story bridge, as I descended into the water that night.
My heart oozed thick clotty blood as it throbbed with every beat. It was similar to experiencing Hanahaki.
Everything finally went black.
Wish that you had chosen me instead.
Maybe then, I wouldn’t have reawakened this way.
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