*Please read the note at the bottom first, thanks*

“Watch a Christmas movie with me? Pleeeeaaaaasssse.” I was sitting on the couch, a blanket around my shoulders and a mug of hot chocolate in my hands.

It was a couple of days before Christmas, and I had been binging Hallmark movies, Melve never having the patience to watch them all the way through with me.

Melve crossed his arms over his chest from where he was in the kitchen, looking at me with an expression of sheer torture. He groaned and said, “I don’t like Christmas movies.”

I stuck out my bottom lip, blinking twice and saying, “But I’m cold and I want to cuddle and you love me so you have to watch a movie with me.”

“Fiiine.” Melve rolled his eyes before walking over, a slight smile playing on his face. He sat down next to me on the couch, and the second he did, I scooted over and pressed up against his side, taking care not to spill my hot chocolate.

He laughed at me as I nudged my way under his arm, blanket still swaddled around me. “Mmm, thanks,” I smiled up at him, my eyes crinkling at the corners.

I turned around to face the television, humming happily as I took a cautious sip from my mug, Melve’s arm around me, and my head leaning against his chest.

~~~

I couldn’t keep the grin off of my face as I looked down at him. He was bundled up in a blanket, and the side of his face was squashed from where he was leaning against my chest. My heart ached when I looked at him and I wasn’t sure why, but he looked so goddamn perfect like that, and I wondered if he could hear the blood pulsing through my heart.

I twirled a strand of his hair around my finger idly, completely ignoring whatever cheesy Christmas movie was playing. No, instead I watched his face, and watched how quickly his expression changed from scene to scene.

There was a small Christmas tree standing next to the TV, and it blinked merrily at me. I never cared much for decorating during the holidays, but naturally, Theo loved doing it, which is why two weeks ago I had spent all day helping him strand garland through the apartment, twist lights through the tree, and hang the fancy ribbon around the outside of the apartment door.

He liked making his own decorations, which is why the garland we had trimming the top of the wall had rainbow lights threaded through, and had ornaments hot-glued onto its branches. There were presents under the tree as well, with shiny wrapping paper and long curled ribbons.

Not to mention we’d already gone through three boxes of hot chocolate, and there were two tiny gingerbread houses on the kitchen counter next to the stove. One was painstakingly detailed, with symmetrically gumdrops and patterned icing. The other… well… it didn’t even look like a gingerbread house anymore.

Contrary to what you may be thinking, the disastrous gingerbread house was not in fact, mine. It was Theo’s, and the reason it looked so terrible was that not only were half of his decorations gone because he had eaten them, but the house itself was missing huge chunks because he had been more worried about taste testing than anything else.

I stared blankly at the TV screen, thinking about what I had gotten Theo. It had taken me ages to decide, and even then, I was still worried it wasn’t good enough. It was kind of cheesy, I reflected, and I knew every year at Christmas I swore I would never be one of those people who wrote down a thousand reasons why they were in love with you, but I’ll be damned if I just couldn’t help it.

And that’s why, sitting in a box wrapped with golden paper, there was a camera. But on that camera were pictures I’d taken throughout the course of that entire year. Most of them were of Theo, but I got Violet and Conor in a couple, and a handful of myself.

I had pictures of Theo in the middle of laughter, I had pictures with him covered in flour, I had pictures of him when he wasn’t doing anything particularly special except looking pretty, and I loved every single one.

I hadn’t written a card, although I’d tried to more than just a couple of times. I wasn’t good with words, and I probably never will be, but I was hoping that maybe, just maybe, my actions would be enough.

I shifted my arm, coming back to reality, then held in a laugh as I realized I couldn’t move, since Theo was now completely deadweight, having fallen asleep right in the middle of his movie. His jaw was slack and his mouth was halfway open, the side of his face smushed into my shoulder. He had on a hideous Christmas sweater despite the blanket wrapped around him, and his pants (which were two sizes too big) had little presents dotted along the fabric.

He was fucking beautiful.

I smiled brightly to myself, then closed my eyes, reassured by the firm weight against my side.