When people ask me what makes me the most angry
I bite down every urge to spit out your name
Like poison on my tongue
and while there is poison from you its not on my tongue

I constantly try to be the bigger person
Give you attention when I want to leave
Let you talk while you drill words I don’t care about in my head
Let you hit me when you get angry, sometimes not even at me

I just want you to be quiet

The constant string of insults that come from your mouth
Wrap around my neck causing me to choke and gasp for air
Like the times you tried to suffocate me with a blanket
And how when I bit you so you would stop I was yelled at

I remember how many things I let you get away with
Just last night I woke up to you playing games
But I don’t say a word so that I don't have to worry about bruises
Or marks you make by hitting me with a spoon

I just want you to be quiet

I tell you I am not a girl and not to call me that
And you turn around and call me a “good girl”
As if I was a dog for you to play with
You may see me as a dog but you’re the only bitch I see

I remember the one time you called me a “sibling”
“Sibling” instead of “sister” I felt happy for a moment
But you only used it because you wanted something
You wanted my silence

But I don’t want to be silent

It’s your turn to listen not speak

I hate every harsh insult from your mouth
The way you tell me I “look special” when I flap my arms
I hate when you punch me for forgetting something
I writhe when I hear you say “everything is your fault!” to me

Because it hurts

...Yet I stay silent

Because being silent means I’m safe from other dangers
Staying silent means I don’t have to worry about being yelled at
Letting you hit me means I don't have to worry about being punished
I stay silent because I’m scared

But now it’s your turn to just be quiet for once
Though you’ve always failed that before,
Interruptions to tell me I’m wrong about something I studied
To change the subject because you don’t care about my thoughts

I need you to just be quiet for once!

Just be quiet….

So I can actually be heard