Chapter 16

-Trynnian-

After I told Kit about my parents, he stayed by my side for the rest of the day, and the next few days after that. He even came to sit in my office and play with one of the many cats whilst I worked. We became inseparable, but that only made my heart hurt at the thought of the future.

Kit meant too much to me.

Eventually, my mother informed me that things had calmed down in the werewolf kingdom, and so Kit could go back next week.

Next week.

I’m trying to be positive, but the fact that Kit doesn’t seem eager to leave me either makes things so much harder. If he was purely excited to go home, and didn’t smile sadly every time it was mentioned, this would be easier.

But the way he kisses me goodnight each evening makes me want to never let his lips go. The way he tucks his head beneath my chin when he decides to be the little spoon makes my heart burst with the strength of the feelings I have for him.

I don’t love him. I just really really like him.

I can’t let myself love him. Not because I think he wouldn’t love me back, but precisely because I think he would. I just want him to be happy and safe. That’s my main motivator for getting the king off the throne here - I know it’s a stupid wish, but part of me hopes that with him gone, Kit could live here with me.

We could be a proper couple.

I quickly push that thought from my mind - it’s dangerous to get my hopes up like that. I have to just focus on the first thing, and then the next once I’ve completed the first. It feels never-ending, and that’s because it is.

Peace is a process, not an end goal.

Much like healing. Which is the whole reason I’m glad that Kit is going home.

Tonight.

That evening, as he curls up in my arms, placing gentle kisses to my neck, I try desperately not to cry. When I wake up, he’ll be gone. So, I don’t sleep. I preached to Kit the importance of sleeping before the trip back, but here I am, unable to let myself fall asleep.

I don’t want him to go.

But that’s selfish. Even if Kit doesn’t necessarily want to go home - he’s fine here and has nothing against it. But, that’s not the point. He needs time to himself. To heal. To recover. To grow.

I wake with a jolt, realising I must have fallen asleep after all. The first thing I notice is the cold. And then the emptiness. Both in the bed next to me and in my heart. Glancing out the window, I establish that it’s early in the morning.

Kit is long gone.

And I’m alone.

I finally let the tears out, as I sob into the cold sheets.

My husband is gone.

—————

-Kit-

I should’ve said goodbye. I knew I would regret not waking Trynnian up, but I knew that I wouldn’t be able to leave him if he cried. And I knew he would cry. Because I was crying. Fawn and I slipped through the darkness, nodding to the guards Cordiana had situated for that particular night, who would let us out.

Once we reached outside the castle, I shifted for the first time in five years. It was awful, but felt incredible to be in my true form after so long. Fawn and I ran for hours, only stopping for a few minutes once we passed the border.

My wolf whined once I realised that everything I had to remind me of Trynnian was long gone, when I’d shifted and lost my clothes. His scent was gone. I didn’t even have my ring; I took it off to shift, and didn’t pick it up again. I couldn’t stop myself from whining, even once my father and Fern greeted me back at the packhouse.

They left me alone, and I shifted back so I could finally cry. I wept harder than I had in the five years I was tortured; I cried and cried until my voice went hoarse. Trynnian was gone.

No.

You left him.

You abandoned the person you thought meant the most to you.

You didn’t deserve to have feelings for him.

You ruined his life.

My sobs grew louder as I smothered my face in the covers of my bed, not even registering the fact that I was in my room after so long.

None of it mattered.

Only Trynnian did.

“I miss him,” I whispered in between sobs, until eventually the exhaustion from running and crying took over, and sleep curled its tendrils around me.

I would love to say that I feel better now, but I don’t. Being back with my family is great, but I feel so sad constantly. I think I’m heart broken. It really sucks. A knock at my door rouses me a little, and I turn in my bed to see Fawn enter.

“Hey little kitten. How are you feeling?” I give her the biggest smile I can muster, but she sees through it, instantly enveloping me in a hug. “I have something for you…I didn’t want to give it to you, because I thought it might make you more sad. But, dad said I had to. So. Don’t blame me if you cry again.”

I grunt, pretty sure that I had no tears left to cry.

I was wrong.

As soon as I lay eyes on my wedding ring, I begin sobbing into my hands. My sister makes comforting noises, shifting into her wolf to better comfort me. I stay in my human form, so that I can cry.

I want to let it all out.

So I do.

Eventually, I calm down enough to actually look at the object. When I realise, that this isn’t my ring. It’s too small for me.

Trynnian.

“Why do you have his ring?” I ask quietly, my vocal cords hurting. Fawn shifts back, nuzzling against me. “Well…when I picked you up, I thought you’d be sad to not have it. So I just grabbed the one from that guy’s finger.”

I gape at her. “You- you stole his ring, and you didn’t leave him mine?” She shrugged, picking at her nails. “So what. Why?” I cover my face again, tugging at my hair. “What if he thinks I got rid of mine and his to signify that we’re over?”

Fawn only shrugs again. “You are over though. You don’t have to be with him, some human, anymore. You’ll find a nice wolf here instead.” I glower at her, turning around so I can’t see her face. “I don’t want some ‘nice wolf’. I want my husband.” Fawn sighs, getting up before slipping out my door.

I look at the ring in my hand once again. It’s so small in comparison with my hands. Just like Trynnian.

My Prince.