Emery's POV
I was walking down the street from Joe's coffee shop with my drink in hand. Rainbows decorated every storefront and advertisement. It was the last couple days of pride month and there were gay people everywhere, which was comforting, but also strange. I'm not exactly out of the closet completely, so seeing people like me be celebrated was a new experience. I've told my grandmother and the rest of my immediate family about my preferences, but nobody else knows...except Aaron, I guess.
Speaking of Aaron, he was all I thought about on my walk back to his apartment. He started acting strangely after his shower last night, but I deduced that it was from his nightmare. Any nightmare that had me screaming into the night would make me act weird too. Aaron acted slightly uncomfortable, probably embarrassed that I had witnessed him in his vulnerable state. Plus, he was avoiding my touch, not like he was a touchy person in the first place, but whatever nightmare he had left him off-kilter.
Not that I minded that; he was still a good company. I could barely remember what we talked about, due to the fact that I was exhausted, but I do remember talking almost endlessly. It was weird. No crush I have ever had before would talk to me, let alone so openly. I remember this one guy I had a crush on in high school who I didn't have the courage to go speak to because he was a little intimidating. He was the son of two rich gay guys, so I thought he would be gay too, but I was mistaken. He always wore piercings and had dyed his bangs green. I always wondered if green was his favorite color.
Then during senior year, he hooked up with this little twink, who was the first boy I have ever seen him with. It occurred to me that I missed my chance.
This is the first time I've ever made friends with my crush before I blew my chance. But...he loves someone else.
They always love someone else.
I threw my cup in the trash as I walked by a bin to throw it in. My life was depressing and I couldn't wait until it changed into something better. If it ever changed.
I was getting really close to the apartment building when someone stopped me.
"You!" He was obviously drunk, whether he was still drunk from last night or just got wasted this morning, I had no idea. He was a young adult with brown hair and sweet hazel eyes. The man had dark bags under his eyes and looked about my age, but he was obviously drunk so he had to be at least twenty-one. Or he could've been drinking underage. Who knew?
He looked like he had been through one too many hard times.
"You're gay!" he slurred, placing a hand on my shoulder. It startled me that he came to such a conclusion on his own. I looked around at the people passing by and saw that they were only staring because of the rainbow get-up he had on and nothing else.
"How did you know?" I asked cautiously, wanting so badly to get away, but he had a tight grip on my shoulder. I noticed that, under his shredded rainbow muscle shirt, he had a BDSM harness on. Maybe he's like, some kind of Dom or something.
"Ah! So you know?" he asked instead, "Then why aren't you wearing rainbow?" It seemed as if he didn't speak English that well because he pointed to his rainbow muscle shirt. "And why aren't you crazy?"
"Not all gay people are crazy..."I trailed wondering if this guy was going to be okay if I just left him there.
"There is a show tonight," the guy smiled with too wide of eyes to be sober, "Here!" -he gestured to the square with wide arms, then pointed to me, "You come. With rainbow." He pointed at my purple hoodie as if he could bippity-boppity-boo rainbow onto my body with his finger.
"Yeah," I nodded desperately, wanting to get away, "Sure. Show. Here. With rainbow. Got it. I'll come. Yep."
The man smiled a big smile, "GOOD!" His voice was so loud, I resisted the urge to shush him. As much as I loved his enthusiasm, it was freaking nine o'clock in the morning. No need to be that loud. After one big clap on the back with his hand, which knocked almost all the air out of me, he let me go on my way.
"Oh!" the man called out as I walked away, "Also! I'm free! If you want to take a drink sometimes!"
I don't think that man needed any more drinks. He could barely speak with proper grammar.
After that strange encounter, I made it to the apartment building in which Aaron lived. On my way to his apartment, I wondered if Aaron was awake. I also realized that I should have bought him a coffee as well from Joe's Coffee Shop, but then again, I had no idea how he liked his coffee. Maybe I should pay more attention next time he drinks it.
I arrived at his apartment door and gave it a knock, not wanting to barge in because it was not my home. Aaron opened the door almost immediately after and tried to give me a smile. I say tried because, no matter how hard he tried to smile, there was always something holding it back. And, in the end, it looked like a grimace.
"Hey," he said, "Um, Severus told me you went on a walk. Something wrong?"
Was he...worried about me?
No, Emery. You're overthinking. Stop hurting yourself by giving yourself hope, I told myself.
"Nope!" I said quickly, starting to realize that I was getting sucked into his dreamy blue eyes, "Uh, just wanted to clear my head. That's all. And I got coffee. Sorry I didn't get you some. I didn't think-"
"It's fine. I already had some, " Aaron said, and suddenly it was awkward. We were both standing there, acting weird. He was still acting weird from last night.
"So..." I asked, shifting on my feet, "Can I come in?"
"Oh," Aaron said, realizing he was blocking the doorway, "Oh, yeah. Um, sure. Sorry."
"Yeah..." I trailed as he moved out of the way and I walked into the apartment. Something changed in our relationship last night that made it awkward. Maybe it was the nightmare? I wasn't so sure. I was curious, so I had to say something.
"So..." I started as he shut the door. He raised an eyebrow. "Um, what's wrong?"
"What do you mean?" he asked, but his tone made him sound as if he knew exactly what I meant.
"I mean, you've been acting weird," I pointed out, "Since last night. I was just wondering if you were okay. I'm not judging you, you know. It's perfectly normal to have nightmares."
"I know that, " he huffed, sounding a little defensive, "And how do you know this isn't how I normally act?"
"B-Because I've been in your house, living with you, for two weeks," I stated, "Sure, I'm new here but you haven't acted this...awkward before. Or defensive. Not even when you told me about Severus-"
"Look, I don't want to talk about that right now, okay?" Aaron said, wincing before lowering his attitude a little, "I don't want to talk about anything right now."
"O-Okay," I whispered, then cleared my throat so I could talk louder, "Okay. It's okay. I was just wondering if you were okay."
"Great," Aaron said, biting his lip, before grabbing a bag sitting on the counter and rushing to the door. He grabbed his coat too on his way out.
"Where are you going?!" I called after him. He paused midway through the door.
"I have classes today," he said, without looking at me. I frowned in confusion.
"I-I thought you said they were at twelve today," I reminded, "It's only nine-thirty."
"I know," he said, before shutting the door behind him and leaving anyway. My heart hurt. Did I do something wrong? Did I say something I wasn't supposed to say? Did he find out about my attraction to him and hate me now? Or was he just grumpy from the nightmare and lack of sleep?
Whatever happened, I was determined to make it up to him.
...But right now, I needed to break down and cry because my crush and only friend was avoiding me for some reason.
I didn't cry, not really. But I was upset. After a minute of me drowning in self-pity, there was a paper pad on the coffee table that slid to the side and had a pen hovering over it. Which scared me to death, because I thought Severus had left with Aaron.
Apparently, that wasn't the plan.
"Aren't you supposed to be protecting Aaron?" I asked, "Are you not his ghost guardian or something?"
I am, the ghost wrote, But it looks like you need me more than he does. He's being a little too defensive today, and I think I know why. Either way, it's not your fault, and he should stop acting like a distant teenager.
"It's not my fault? Then who's fault is it?" I asked curiously. Severus seemed very wise.
Everyone has some blame in everything, Severus wrote, It all depends on what side the story is told. But the fault is no one's. You could blame me for dying. You could blame the killer for killing me. You could blame the doctors for not being able to save me. You could blame yourself for making Aaron doubt the mindset he's had for three years. No one is at fault for how Aaron acts, not even Aaron. It's just how he copes with stressful or depressing things. He distances himself from everything and everyone he loves.
"But he doesn't love me," Emery stated, "And he's starting to distance himself."
He doesn't love you. Not yet. But he's starting to realize that he has feelings for you (don't tell him I told you that). He starting to distance himself because he's scared that you're changing things, that you're going to make him fall out-of-love with me. He's doing the same thing that he's done with every guy he's tried to date after my death, Severus explained, You know what's different about you? He's actually considering you. I can't tell you how I know that because I don't want to expose all of Aaron's secrets, but I know it's true. I made a joke on how you're exactly his type at the beginning of all of this, but now I see that you could be the changing factor in Aaron's life. And I want you two to be together. I want to see Aaron happy again.
"I do too. And, I'm going to be honest with you, I've had a crush on Aaron for a while. I just don't want to ruin the only friendship I have, " I explained.
Yeah, maybe it's best you keep that information between us until Aaron's ready to accept it, Severus wrote, He will not react well in such early stages.
"Right. I trust your judgment," I confirmed, then stood up and stretched, "You can go back to Aaron, if you want. I'm going to stay here and eat some breakfast."
The pen was lowered to the table, and I walked to the kitchen to grab a bite to eat.
~{()}~
THIRD PERSON POV (I don't like changing types of POV's mid-chapter, but I had to.)
Emery Adams had crossed Silas McCallister's line for the last time. First, he became gay. Then he started locking himself in his room to hide from Silas. Now he upped and disappeared for days, and Silas frustratingly had no idea where he went. It angered Silas that Emery had no compassion for him. Not after all that they've been through together as kids.
He betrayed Silas, and Silas hated him for it. As many have said before:
Evil is not born: it's made.
And Emery is the reason he's like this. It's Emery's fault that he ended up in jail for murdering someone. It was Emery's fault he had this cruel rage for homosexuals. It was Emery's fault that his parents saw him as a delinquent and a disappointment. All of it was Emery's fault.
And deep down, he knew it wasn't all because of Emery. He knew he was unstable, easily angered, and probably mentally ill. But it was easier to blame Emery rather than accept he had a problem.
And here he stood at the door of Emery's empty room, bursting at the seams with anger towards Emery Adams: his cousin, his enemy, and his childhood...friend.
His gripped tightened on the handle of the hammer he found in the basement, looking around the room with crazed eyes, ready to smash everything in sight.
And the first thing his eyes landed on was that god damned glass flower sitting on Emery's nightstand.
And then he couldn't stop himself, as the rage took over once again.
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