Dear Fellow Traveler,
So, ok. I dunno how to start this, but I guess I’ll kinda continue where I left off last time.
Honestly what happened next after I had a moment to flip my shit, was something straight outta a book. I took a moment to hyperventilate in a plastic bag until I could breathe properly, and I was shaking like a leaf from the rush of adrenaline in my new body. After taking a hot minute to calm down, I started looking over myself in the mirror, touching what I saw and opening and closing my mouth a few times, just to test if what I was seeing was really me.
The face staring at me was like a bear I guess. It was like a bear mask someone tried their best at making, but still ended up looking wrong. I was covered in black fur that looked like it had a bit of purple in it. My bottom teeth had grown out into bottom fangs, and my hands were bear paws. The rest of me looked like a messed up taxidermy project where someone took a bear and a dog and tried sewing the parts together. The skin looked like it had been pulled over a body, but the skin was too small and had been stretched tight.
It was really messing with my brains.
“What the flying fuck is this chicken shit….?” I groaned once it really hit me. I felt tears start to prick my eyes, and before I knew it I was crying a bit. I guess I was overwhelmed, but in this situation who wouldn’t be?
I just slid to my knees and hugged myself, and I started sobbing a lot. I didn’t cry during my grandma's funeral, but I sure as hell was going off like a faucet right then and there.
“Come now, there’s no need for that, child,” the voice was deep, and sorta sounded like my dad, so I thought I’d see him when I looked up. But It wasn’t my dad.
And I wasn’t in my grandma's house either. Everywhere I looked, it was like looking at a painting of the desert while high on something. There was a starry sky and the colors were moving like the wind was visible. Might have been pretty if I wasn’t freaked out.
On top of that, the one talking to me was a guy I literally couldn’t describe other than being a shadow. Like he was all blacked out and you could only see his outline.
“This is seriously some supernatural comic bull shit…” I muttered, but the shadow just laughed. It wasn’t a creepy demonic laugh, but it still sounded like someone was tickling a bear, “You really have a mouth on you, child.” he laughed.
“Who are, what’re- WhErE-!” I had three questions coming out of my mouth at once, and he just laughed more. “You of the new generation are quite the spectacle,” he snickered as he placed a hand on my head.
I swatted his hand away as I tried to fix my word vomit, “What in the name of Winnie Poohs big yellow ass is going on!?” I barked out frustrated, “Who are you!?”
“I am Big Bear,” the guy said, still laughing, “The first skinwalker in our bloodline, making me your ancestor-”
“Are you gonna go on a monolog?” I asked bluntly, “Because all this,” I waved my hands around to the trippy scenery, “Feels like some kinda game opening monolog, where you tell me I’m the hero that’s going to save the world-'' I ended up pausing and blinking a few times again. “Please, for the love of honey! Tell me. That’s Not What This Is!” the shadow man took a step back as I jumped up, kinda panicking, before grabbing the guy and shaking him like a rag doll, “Dude I am Way Too Lazy To Be A Chosen Hero Archetype! I just wanted to go to the beach!”
Side note, is there a limit to how many tiny panic attacks a person can handle? Because at that moment, I think I was reaching the limit.
The shadow man just laughed more, I guess to him this was funny, and he managed to get me to stop shaking him. “No, no, no, child,” he waved a hand like he was trying to wave away my legit worries. “Nothing like that, though I am not certain what that is supposed to mean.”
“My child, for more than 300 years, the curse I brought on this bloodline has also protected it, as well as being a guarded secret.”
He patted my head again, and I didn’t even realize I had changed back till he touched me. I felt like he was downloading information in my head, not anying major but stuff similar to things that would come as naturally as blinking. It was a weird feeling, well not as weird as anything else that happened that day, but ya know.
“Understand, carrying on the tradition I started is a choice. You can choose to burn the coat, and break the curse, or you can continue it. It’s up to you my child, but you must NEVER speak a word of it to the other’s of our family.”
I took a moment to think and take everything in. It was a lot to process. A LOT. So you’d think I’d want to play 20 questions after the word vomit he just poured out.
“Ok, I guess I get like, half of the cryptic stuff you're saying….. but why me?” I asked sitting down again, and he sat across from me. I could feel him smiling at me, “My dad or uncles would have been a better pick…”
“Your grandmother picked you, because like her, you have a free and open spirit. You're not meant to be tied down, and you're willing to take things as you see them. We both knew you’d be able to make your desicious, because YOU want it, and not because you think it would be what OTHERS want.”
I looked up at him, propping my head on my knee, “If I burn it…. what would happen to you?” he chuckled, it was like he had heard that question 100 times before, he probably had my first question at heart too.
“My soul will be put to rest.”
“And if I keep the pelt, are you gonna haunt me like some kinda shoulder angel?” The shadow shook his head, “I will not interfere. As I said, it’s your choice, and shall always be.”
“Be warned. This is NOT a gift my child, this will always remain a curse, no matter what you use it for. And like many things in this world, it comes at a price-”
The whole mystic setting disappeared when my phone alarm went off.
Everything hurt to move. EVERYTHIIIIIING.
So once I stopped rolling around the floor, in my attempt to get up and I could move again, I started packing. I can’t really tell you how my thought process worked at that moment, I just knew what I was gonna do, and how I was gonna do it.
I gotta say, excitement, the kind that makes you feel like a little tot getting ready for their first field trip to the zoo, erases all reason and common sense.
Writing this now made me realize how I should have been more freaked out and self aware, but honestly it felt like someone drove up in a limo and told me I’d won a cross country trip, all expenses paid.
I packed up all the camping stuff my grandma gave me, went home while my parents were at work to pack some clothes, called the farm and said “Hey Mikey, sorry, I’m quitting and gonna be outta town for awhile,”Then hung up before he could reply. Rude I know, but if you know Mikey, that guy can talk on the phone for hours, besides I had to text a goodbye, see ya soon, message to my parents before I could give myself a chance to think things through.
Here’s the message I sent.
Text Message:
Hey mom and dad, sorry to be sudden
but ya know that trip I talked w/ u guys about?
Im taking it
Like
RN
Ik u ur gonna be pissed as all hell
But life is too short and grandma left me some stuff to help me on my trip.
I’ll talk to you soon, PLZ plz dont yell at me when you call me later.
Luv u both.
P.s. I’ll send pictures.
And I literally ran. If you live in Arizona, you’ll know it’s as hot as the devils crotch here, but oddly enough wearing the coat the pelt was made into didn’t make things hotter, it felt like it was natural. Guess that’s magic for you.
One thing I didn’t mention yet, was that after waking up I noticed a few things. A) my eyes were slightly pinkie purple instead of dark brown, B) My new bottom fangs were gonna be hard to talk with for a bit, and C) I had to steal some of my dad's jeans and a pair of his boots, because I had a sudden growth spurt. So yeup. If my parents saw me they’d been throwing questions left and right.
My parents were PISSED when they read the text on dad’s phone, and they DID yell at me when they called. but that was after hours of work, and I was too far away for them to come after me. Though I heard mom say to send my cousin, Austin, after me. That didn’t happen, so in the end, they said they understood that I was at least an adult, and they really couldn’t drag me back.
I know before I made it sound like my life before was bad. But looking back on it, it really wasn’t. I was too bored and restless to be happy with it, I guess. But sometimes, I think that’s ok, because at least when you get a new outlook on things, or like me, see things through fresh eyes, you can appreciate it. Though when I left, I was still pretty high on excitement and adrenaline to think about it.
I guess I should explain how I got from point A to B, and no I didn’t go bear-dog, to do it. I took a greyhound bus like a normal person. I atleast had enough working brain cells to know people would FLIP OUT if they saw a skinwalker running along the road IN BROAD DAYLIGHT. One thing to note is, for the Navajo people, and our long history with the creatures beyond nature, is that we’ve always been believers. I can’t say I ever expected the things that would come in the future to happen to me though, but if I wasn’t a believer then, I am now, as of writing this.
Originally, I figured I should wait till the cover of darkness to try testing this stuff out. If movies and TV are anything to go by, humans, especially superstitious people like my tribe, being a monster isn’t very safe. So I just listened to the music on my phone and stared out the window. My plan at the time was to go to the beach, see the ocean, and stay awhile. But that wasn’t my only plan, because I thought that once I got the hang of being a skinwalker, I could travel the country without any worry. No having to worry about some perv or serial killer trying to shiv me if I wanted to hitchhike. I didn’t think it’d be easy street, but I guess back then, I didn’t really understand, or I was just riding the high recklessly. I thought I was taking my life by the reins, and I can honestly say for the first few months, I wasn't thinking with a clear head. Nothing seemed real anymore, I guess you could put it. Plus I didn't know what the price I had to pay was yet, but I found out after a while. A long lonely while.
I think I’ll stop here for today, cause this is pretty long, but I’ll get into the real honey of the story soon.
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