“So which cart are we hopping in?” Keldon asked.
“Not we, you. And yerr hopping with the prison cart.”
“Woah woah woah. Wait, slow down a second”, Keldon said, stopping in place. “Prison Cart?! And what do you mean “you”?”
“I meant what I said. Yerr leaving the Hissings alone buddy boy.”
“But why? Why can’t you come with me?” Keldon asked, but then, Keldon suddenly remembered asking the doctor who had paid for his medical bills. “Bertram… were you the one who paid for my hospital bills?”
“Our bills. And yeuh, not like you could pay them on yurr own, 'specially not now. So, I extended my contract. ” Bertram said nonchalantly
As Keldon was about to argue that he could work for the money himself, Bertram was already poised to counter his argument. He sighed inwardly, knowing that arguing with Bertram on the topic would just be wasted breath. Instead, he just smiled in appreciation, and wrapped his arms around Bertram.
“Thank you. Really.”
“Don’t worry about it buddy.” Bertram said, patting him on the back. “Now let’s go, gotta get you on board.”
“What about Hilda by the way?” Keldon said, looking around. “She told me she was going to come see me off.”
“She’s tied up today, tons of paperwork to fill out because of the attack. She’ll be comin’ to the capital in a few months or so, so she said she’ll look for ya then.”
“That’s a shame; It’ll be nice though to see someone familiar after a few months in the capital.” Keldon said. “Although, it would have been nice to see her before I left.”
Moving towards the front of the prison cart, Bertram and Keldon made idle conversation. But while they were discussing when they’d be able to see each other again, they were interrupted by boisterous cheering. Three gentleman were making merry by the tortulgas, surrounded by empty bottles and clanking together glasses full of frothy, pale yellow ale.
“To life on the road!!”
“PRISON CREW BOYS, HURRAH!!”
“To delivering justice to baddies!!”
“PRISON CREW BOYS, HURRAH!!”
“To easy money!!”
“PRISON CREW BOYS, HURRAH!!
Together, in unison, they laughed a hearty and genuine laugh that was straight from the belly. Keldon rarely heard those while he worked in the Hissings. Infectious as it was joyful, Keldon couldn’t help but let his lips curl into a smirk, joining in the merry in his own way. It had been a quite a while since Keldon had heard laughs of true joy.
“You boys haven’t aged a day. You boys get my message?” Bertram said, approaching the lot.
“You’ve aged several from the looks of it. And yeah.” said the man who led the chant. He was a bit pudgy and leaned towards the shorter side of people Keldon had known. He smeared his arm across his face, still leaving trails of ale foam in his beard.
“Well, almost all of you” he said, pointing down at Bertram’s faux leg. “When was that.”
“Recent.” Bertram replied matter of frankly. “Keldon, meet the Prison Crew Boys. Prison Crew boys, Keldon. We were drinking mates way back when.”
“’ello Keldon.” Said the man who had led the chant. “I’m Mitch, the tall one’s Pudge, and that’s his younger brother Ernie.”
Pudge waved a friendly hello. Strangely enough, he wasn’t fat at all, he was quite handsome despite his nickname. He had a sharp jawline and sparkling blue eyes, it wasn’t the sort of attractiveness that made a person feel intimidated, but rather the opposite. He seemed warm and inviting, the kind of person you feel you’d want to strike up a conversation with.
Ernie, in comparison, seemed much plainer, his eyes were a duller blue and the only other particularly remarkable feature on his face was his crooked nose. He walked up to Keldon with a wide grin on his face. Shaking his hands with gusto, eagerly introducing himself.
“Well well, Bertram, what a man we have here, now this is a man that knows how to dress. Name’s Ernie but you can call me “at your service”.” Ernie said.
“Shove off, Ernie.” Bertram said, “He ain’t a lordling, the boy is broke.”
Ernie frowned, but quickly picked his smile back up, shrugging his shoulders dramatically.
“Ah well, can’t blame a man for trying. Nice to have you along for the ride.” Ernie said, patting Keldon on the back.
While the five of them were introducing themselves, trading jabs at each other’s appearances and reminiscing a bit about their history. Many of the caravans had exited the town gate, waiting at the side for the prison cart to lead the way. A few of the merchants shot annoyed glances at the quintet, each trying to outdo each other’s quips and jabs.
“At least I ain’t never shit myself on the tavern floor while courtin’ the barmaid. You should’ve SEEN the look on ‘er face when you passed out, herrherrherr” Bertram said with a strange chuckle.
“Bastard, at least I could drink then. Remember how you had gotten yourself pricked by a Thornapus and the doctor said you couldn’t drink for a month?” Mitch said, turning to Keldon. “Get this, he thought the doc was exaggerating so he had a sip of ale and got sent back to the medic. After paying the bill, Berty couldn’t afford to stay at the inn so he just slept in the barn. Woke up the next morning to a horse cock, dangling on his lips, HAH!!
Keldon tried to suppress his laughter as Bertram stared daggers into the two of them. However, upon noticing the gaze of several important looking merchants staring at the lot of them in annoyance, Keldon brought it up to the Prison Crew Boys attention. They laughed, waving it away as “business as usual”. They said their goodbyes to Bertram as they finished their drinks, and started to load up the rest of their equipment into the front of the cart.
Keldon turned around to Bertram, looking him in the eye. “I know I say it too much but, thanks again for everything Bertram.” Catching him in a warm hug. Bertram started to push Keldon away, but gave in, returning the embrace.
“Alright, alright. That’s enough of that,” Bertram said, pulling Keldon off him. “I’m sure we’ll meet again someday soon.”
Keldon nodded, turning around and hopping up to the side of the prison cart as it started to pull away towards the town gates. He waved one final goodbye to Bertram, before getting into the cabin at the front of the prison cart. Opening the steel door, he plopped down onto the side bench and closed his eyes, feeling the rumbling of the wheels against the dirt road. It had been an exhausting few days, and having a good laugh really reminded him of how tired he was, both mentally and physically.
“*Ahem*”
Keldon snapped opened his eyes. At the opposite end of the cabin, there was a man in a long auburn cloak with sharp dark eyes, staring at Keldon. He had long brown hair that was tied back, and seemed unamused as Keldon realized that he must be another travel companion; probably upset that Keldon didn’t introduce himself.
“I’m sorry, didn’t notice you there, name’s Keldon.” He said, reaching out for a handshake.
The man shook his head with a frown, “Not that, your bag’s on my lunch.”
Keldon lifted up his knapsack, revealing the smushed remains of a tuna sandwich smeared across the bottom.
“Oh shit, I’m so sorry. Let me pay you back for it.” Keldon said, starting to dig through his satchel for his coin purse.
The man reached over and peeled the sandwich off the bottom of the knapsack, the sandwich making a schluck sound as he pulled it off.
“It’s fine. Just watch your language.” He said, taking a bite of the smushed sandwich and looking away from Keldon.
“Oh. Right. Sorry.” Keldon said, shying away. “My language?” he thought, a little confused.
Man it was awkward in the cabin now. The cart rumbled down the dirt road as the sound of hooves and Tortulga feet clopped against the earth. Keldon shot the man a couple of glances, trying to find an opening to reintroduce himself and make a better impression, but the man kept a tight defense against any social interaction. However, about twenty minutes or so later, a gap in the wall slid open, revealing the prison crew boys steering the tortulgas at the helm. Mitch slipped his head through the opening.
“I damn near forgot to introduce the two of you, Salem, meet Keldon. Keldon, Salem.” Mitch said.
Keldon looked over to Salem, flashing him a slight smile. But Salem didn’t meet his gaze. Mitch looked back and forth between the two of them before sliding the gap door closed. He started to talk to Pudge and Ernie, assuming that Keldon and Salem wouldn’t be able to hear them conversing. That or he didn’t care if they did.
“I think they hate each other.” Said Mitch, muffled by the gap door.
“They fightin’?” asked Ernie.
“Hope not.” said Pudge.
“Lemme check.” Said Mitch. He slid the gap door open, poking his head in again.
“You two fightin?” asked Mitch.
“We’re not fighting Mitch. Leave us alone.” Said Salem, not looking up from his book that he had pulled out.
“That’s what fightin’ people say. You know, I’m somewhat of a therapist myself. I like to think all of life’s answers could be found at the bottom of a bottle somewhere. That’s how I figured out I needed to leave my ex-wife!” Mitch said.
“Mitch…” started Salem in annoyance.
“Lemme tell you, she loved being in plays. Mainly dressed-up as herself and acted like a total bitch.” Said Mitch.
“Mitch.” Said Salem flatly.
“Like that one Keldon? Stole that from a traveling comedian, what a lad.”
“Well, I-“started Keldon.
“MITCH. Leave us alone.” Said Salem, raising his voice.
“Okay, okay, you don’t need to shout at me.” Said Mitch, as he closed the gap door.
“Some people just have no respect for others.” Said Mitch in a muffled voice, still audible through the gap door. Salem let out a sigh, shaking his head and looking back down at his book. Keldon looked back between the gap door and Salem who was brooding in the corner.
“Man, why do I always get interrupted in the middle of my sentence” Keldon thought, taking out his own book out from his travel bag.
This was going to be a long trip.
(To Be Continued)
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