I wake up from the sound of familiar voices from downstairs. Is aunt having friends over? Then I remember, mom and dad! I rush up from my bed, I take on clothes from the floor. When I get to the doorstep, I feel my heart start beating fast! My knees lose all its power and I fall on the floor.

I hear knocking from downstairs, followed with the sound of my mom yelling “Hey, Cheonsa get down here!” I pull myself together and get up on my feet again. Slowly walking down, the stairs, every step makes a loud sound signalling to my parents and aunt that I was on my way. When I take the last step of the stairs, I stop up for a minute. I feel my pulse getting higher, and I get warmer. I feel the sweat dripping down from my hair. It has been four years. And I’m not ready for this!

I eventually walk inside to the kitchen seeing my mom, dad, and aunt sitting down drinking each a cup of tea. Dad looks up from his phone and says, “You took an extremely long time getting down here.” While giving me a look of disgust. I really regret coming down here now. He then changes his focus from me to aunt. And he says to her “You’ve been lazy with him; he would never have gotten to waste that much time in bed if he still lived with us!” I clench my fist, it's just a grain of salt left before I gut punch him! How dare he talk like that, he can’t even do parenting 101, just sitting at his office till late at night. I bet he only came with my mom because she forced him to. I realize aunt was staring at me, she could see I was, so close to snap! She gave me a look that told me not to do it, it's not worth it. She doesn’t like conflict. The only time was four years ago when she got me away from them. I don’t really want to call them my parents. I respect and appreciate what she did for me, but I wish she would be more rebellious.

“Calm down now!” Mom says to dad while laying her hand on his shoulder. She then looks back at me and says “Sit down Cheonsa. And have some tea. I want to tell you why we're really here.” She smiles, but it isn’t a smile of kindness. No, there’s still anger in her. She has always acted kind when she’s disappointed at me or angry. But it only gets worse if I act up about it, so it's better to bite my tongue and take it.

I sit down and aunt poor hot water in a cup and give it to me. She stares at me; she already knows what’s up. I look down at the cup and blend the tea with the hot water, while mom says, “We thought a lot about this... It’s been a year now and...” Did she just say a year! I quickly cut her off and correct her “four” how could she miss 3 years out of the occasion?!?

She stares at me with a blank face and says “What?” She doesn’t even realize her mistake, then I don’t even want to be bothered. “Forget it,” I answer and she starts rolling her eyes, and dad is lost in his phone. He doesn’t even care. Mom continues with; “Oh well, we know better now, you had a phase, and we shouldn’t have been so harsh on you. All this pushing of getting a girl, made you try and find excuses. So, we concluded, that you don’t have to rush with marriage until you feel comfortable. Or even be in a relationship with a girl!” She smiles at me as if what she just said were something amazing. This is it! I can’t take it anymore; I feel my heart starts beating even faster and I jump up and yell “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!” Mom stares at me she looks confused, but the confusion turns into anger. Dad looks up and he says, “don’t be rude to your mom young man!” I can’t come up with anything, my head is all over the place, all I can come up with is “Fuck You!” I then turn around and run out of the apartment.

I walk five blocks from my aunt’s apartment to the port. I sit down on a bench. The air is cold and fresh. It helps me clear my mind. I’m not going back to those jerks again! I'll stay with Siren until they leave. How can they be so stupid calling it just a phase! I’ve struggled with it since 6th grade when I called one of my classmates for cute. I got called a freak. I didn’t tell my parents anything, and later heard some parents from my class call gay a plague as well as the rest of LGBTQ+

People have told me its just a phase all my life, and that it isn’t the norm. How will you get kids? You’ll go to hell if you fuck another man. What a load of bullshit!

But some part of me thinks I am ill; I should check in at a hospital. Or at least that was how I thought until I met him.

I feel a hand touch my left shoulder; I turn around to see my aunt standing there staring at me. “May I sit down with you?” She smiles and I nod. “So, they didn’t like your sudden outburst earlier. It took a while to calm them down. I told them I would talk to you alone.” She grabs my left hand and looks at me. “I know this is difficult to hear but they want you to come back to Korea...” She knew they wanted me back and didn’t tell me! “I don’t want to,” I answer I don’t really want to talk about this, I just want to get lost in my own thoughts. “Listen Cheonsa. I think it would be easier for you and Siren if you just ignored your feelings, maybe you’ll realize it was just a phase. You’ll thank us then.” She looks at me like she’s about to cry, but I don’t care about that. She’s just like my parents, she thinks its just a silly little phase!

I get up from the bench and look down at aunt. “I thought you understood, but you’re just like everyone else! I don’t want to see you anymore!” I start running away, I can hear aunt yell at me, but I don’t care. I will live with him, with Siren. We will find happiness.

Together!

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Thanks for reading <3

Here we got that juicy drama mmm... Also, the parents can’t speak English at all, so when Cheonsa and his aunt speak with them, they’re also speaking Korean : )

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