“Spit it out-” Daisy freezes when she sees me on my bed. “Allie! What happened?”

Jess comes running in and gasps when her eyes find me. “Oh my God!”

“Sit down, it’s a long story.” They do it and I turn to Jamie who is still by the door. “Lock it. I don’t want Daisy doing anything crazy.” She nods and does as I say.

“What do you mean?” Daisy frowns and sits close to me.

“Well” I take a deep breath and Jamie sits on the bed. “Matt did this.”

The room falls silent.

“Are you kidding?” Daisy whispers. “Please tell me you’re kidding.” When I don’t say a word she jumps off the bed. “I’m going to kill him.” Her voice is so filled with anger even I get scared. “You will tell me exactly what happened right now.”

I nod and point to the her spot on the bed. She huffs and sits down. “Let’s start from the beginning.” I tell Daisy and Jess what I told Jamie, but Daisy is way too calm and quiet. “Are you ok, Daisy?”

“Just keep talking.” Her face is blank as she speaks through gritted teeth.

“Ok… well, after he ripped my dress I don’t remember everything clearly, but he…” I pause to look for the right words but there aren’t any. “He fucked me. There’s no other way to put it.” I start tearing up and turn to Jamie. “That’s why I was like that when you came over on Sunday.”

“Wait, wait. Go back. What do you mean he ‘fucked’ you?” Jess’ voice is quiet. “Allie, did he…” she gulps and closes her eyes. “Did he force you? Was it non consensual?” The silence that follows the question is deafening.

Was it?

I mean, I didn’t try to stop him, but I didn’t want to have sex with him. I didn’t even want to kiss him then.

Fuck.

I nod, unable to say a word. The tears are flowing freely now.

“That’s it.” Daisy gets up. “I’ll fucking kill him right now.” She storms towards the door.

“No! Daisy!” I try to get up, but I can’t. “Guys, stop her please.” Jamie doesn’t move, but Jess manages to hold Daisy back.

“Allie, don’t you fucking understand what happened?” She yells.

“Of course I do, Daisy! I was there! It happened to me!” I yell back. “Now can you please sit back down so I can finish while I still can?” She stares at me for a while, but returns to the bed and I keep going. “After that I only saw him this Friday. I went to his place and he tried to… do it again.” Daisy starts to get back up. “But I stopped him! He didn’t do anything. Not then.” I sigh. “After that, he left the room and was gone for two hours. When I found him he was completely drunk, over a dozen bottles of beer were empty in front of him. I tried to talk to him and make him stop, but instead he hit me. On the face. I left after that.”

Now it’s Jamie who gets off the bed, but she just starts pacing the floor. I stop talking and look at her. “Keep going, Allison.”

I nod. “Yesterday I had that conversation with you, Jamie, and decided I’d talk to him and end everything. I went to his place today to talk. I told him everything I just told you guys. He got pretty defensive, but didn’t do anything. When I brought up the sex he snapped.” A sob interrupts me. Jess holds me tightly and I continue while I’m in her arms. “He said I was calling him a rapist and he flipped out.” I pull back. “I said I was leaving and then-” I take a deep breath. “Then he pinned me to the wall by the neck. He demanded me to take it back, but I didn’t. I won’t. He threatened to kill me. Kill me. Then he threw me on the floor and I hit my head. I passed out after that.”

Jess holds me tighter and we cry together. Nobody says a word. Daisy’s face is dark and she has her eyes closed. Her breaths are deep and calm. Anyone else would think she’s ok, but I know her. She is holding back. I know she is on the verge of freaking out.

I look for Jamie, but I can’t see her. I call her name and she answers me from the bathroom.

“Are you ok in there?”

She comes out looking like a mad person. “How could you ask that?” She whispers while coming to stand next to me. I see she is crying almost as much as I am. “How could I possibly be ok after you just told me all of that?” She runs her hands through her hair. “No, I’m not ok. He hurt one of my best friends so deeply I know will never forgive him. That’s not even a possibility.” She sits beside me. “He is a monster, Allie. And you didn’t deserve any of it. And I’m sorry I didn’t try harder. I knew something was happening, but I didn’t do anything about it. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault either, Jamie! How could you have known? I didn’t say anything and you’re not a mind reader.” I hold her hands. “There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

“I have to go.” I turn around and see Daisy heading for the door.

“Daisy, wait! Promise me you won’t do anything stupid! Promise you’re not going after him.”

“I’m going to my room, Allie. I have to think. I’m sorry I can’t stay here with you, but I need to be alone right now.” She opens the door and leaves.

The three of us sit in silence for a while.

“What are you going to do?” Jess whispers.

“I don’t know. I just need to sleep right now. Today’s been too much for me.”

“I’m sleeping here.” Jamie gets off the bed. “I’m just going to get some thing from my room.” She closes the door behind her.

“I can stay too if you want.”

“You don’t have to. I promise I’ll be fine.” I form a small smile on my lips and Jess hugs me.

“You are so strong and amazing, Allie. He is insane and you deserve so much better than that. He’s way too dumb and blind to see this hot piece of ass with a heart of gold.” I giggle a little and she smiles then gets off the bed. “I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll stop by after class. Good night.”

I sit alone in silence for a little while before Jamie comes back.

“Let’s just sleep. I know you’re tired.” She starts to lay a duvet on the floor and I frown.

“Are you sleeping on the floor?”

“Yeah…”

“No, you’re not! You don’t have to sleep here, but if you are, you’re not staying on the floor! Get your ass on this bed, ‘cause I’m tired as fuck and I want to sleep.”

She smiles and picks up the things from the floor. “Just because you asked so nicely.”

I move to the side to give her some space.

“Good night, Jamie.”

“Good night, Allie.”