I LEANED BACK ON MY CHAIR WITH A CARELESS EXPRESSION.

Despite the loud chatter that was going on in the classroom, the loneliness had a vice grip on my heart, squeezing with just enough pressure to cause me pain. It felt like it was killing me every day, little by little, taking what was once my light and replacing it with a darkness that overshadowed every moment of my life.

It was the fuel for my nightmares and the reason even breathing had become a struggle.

The seat beside me was empty, with no one daring to even look my way. Maybe it was the scowl that was permanently etched on my face nowadays, or the black bruise that covered one half of my face, that kept people away from me. If I pulled up my shirt a little, purple welts were scattered across my abdomen like a disease. It hurt to breath and it made me wonder if some of my ribs were cracked.

During the day and nights, Father was like my own, real life monster. There were times where I struggled to even tell the difference between the nightmare of my reality from the fiction of my nightmares. With ease, he crushed every once of self-worth I had acclaimed over the years. He proudly showcased how happy he was to deal me his favorite blows. Like an addiction, they gave him a rush, reeling him back for more each time. Power and malice were the only things that lit up his insides with a sickly glow.

"Alright everyone!" Miss Linde's voice rose over the chatter. "Settle down! Class has started!"

The class immediately quietened when they noticed a small girl standing at the top of the class. Her short, brown hair stopped at her shoulders, small pieces sticking up at the sides. She was shorter than average, and certainly larger than a catwalk model, but her ordinariness made her stand out. There was a shyness to her, hesitation in her body movements and a softness in her voice as she spoke.

"I'm Natalia. It's a pleasure to meet you all."

But while most paid attention to her physical looks, her eyes was what caught my attention.

Her emotions were not easily hidden on her innocent face. I observed with crossed arms, pain that was evident in the crease of her brow and the down-curve of her full lips. But her eyes. . . Her eyes showed her soul. They were a deep pool of restless gold-brown, an ocean of hopeless grief.

As I looked into her eyes I knew that nothing could even hope to compete with this simple thing: passion. Passion turned her eyes into orbs of the brightest fire.

It felt like there was sunshine in her smile and and her voice went right to my brain like a bullet. Feeling my skin prickle, I ripped my eyes away after a few silent moments of staring.

"Right," Miss Linde clasped her hands and swept her gaze across the room. Her polite smile slipped when she realized the only available seat was next to me. Desperate, her eyes looked for any other empty seat available, but came up with nothing.

"You can take a seat beside Trevor back there." She forced out. I scoffed under my breath. What did they think I was going to do, strangle her if she sat beside me?

The girl didn't appear bothered and made her way to the back. Hushed whispers broke out in the room, many shooting her pitiful looks, to which she either didn't seem to notice or was ignoring. Pulling out the seat beside me, she sat down, sending a wave of her sweet, perfumed scent my way. I crinkled my nose, not-so-discreetly pushing my chair away from hers.

After setting her belongings down on her desk, she twisted her body to face me with an almost blinding smile.

"Hi, I'm Natalia."

Silence.

"I'm new here, but I guess you that's kind of obvious," She continued with ease. "It's actually my first day here -"

"So?"

She faltered, losing her train of thought. "Pardon?"

I rolled my eyes at her language. "So?" I reiterated. "Why are you telling me this?"

The smile didn't drop from her face like I expected it to, instead she raised her brow a little higher. "I'm sorry, do you have a problem with me?"

I gritted my teeth. "Yes."

"Considering I've been here all of five minutes, I'm kind of struggling to understand what you're issue with me would be." While Natalia spoke in a gentle tone, I could almost feel the real harshness of her words from her piercing gaze.

I waited a moment before replying, "I don't want to talk with you, so do you mind keeping your mouth shut?"

Mischief glinted in her eyes. "Do you expect me to answer that question?"

"Why do you think I asked?"

"Well I guess today isn't your lucky day." Natalia shrugged.

I blinked when she didn't spare me another glance before turning back in her seat. My mouth worked soundlessly, trying to come up with something to retort, but I drew a blank. From her side profile, I could see her trying to hold back her growing grin.

There were still those trying to discreetly peek over their shoulders and listen in, but one glare from me had the colour draining from their faces. Unbothered, I leaned back in my seat, the front two feet hanging in the air. Miss Linde caught me swinging, and went to shout before she shut her mouth.

There was a lot of people that were scared of me, not only because of who my Father was, but because of who I was. They often called me crazy when they thought I wasn't listening, and I was starting to believe them.

Maybe I really was crazy.

***

Panic clogged my throat.

My mind struggled to fight through the haziness as the world became illuminated with orange and red flames. In the distance, I could see thick gray smoke billowing into the skies. It wound itself around the house like a hungry serpent, devouring everything in its path.

A scream from deep within forced its way to the surface, sounding as if a demon had been unleashed. My eyes were wide with horror, my fists clenched with blanched knuckles and nails that dug deeply into the palms of my hand.

Mother's face was pressed up against the window, her face screwed into one of terror. Her hands helplessly banged against the windows, begging for someone to help her. Her screams filled the silent night, echoing in the distance.

I watched, helpless, as she slowly began to disappear under the fiery red and orange flames. Mother's tortured screech tore through me like a great shard of glass. I felt my eyes widen and pulse quicken, my heart thudding like a rock rattling in box. The scream came again, desperate and demanding to be heard. The blood drained from my face and before I was even aware of making a conscious decision my legs were pounding furiously up to the burning building.

I didn't make it far before a hand curled around my upper arm, pulling me back.

"Let me go!" I screamed, thrashing violently in their hold. "Get off me, my Mother's still inside!"

Before she could reply, a plume of fire exploded into the blackness, the flame rolling outwards like the smoke of a mushroom cloud. Heart-wrenching screams ripped from my throat but no-one was listening. The fire didn't cease it's reign of terror. I could not run, nor could I scream. I only watched as it burned. My home, my family, everything. Mother's flesh turned black as fire ate greedily at her mangled faces and torn back. There was no escaping it, the pain, and death it caused.

Like a dam bursting, my tears mingled with the sudden rain that began to fall. Guttural chokes escaped my throat as I struggled to gulp in air. From my mouth came a cry from so raw that even the eyes of the strangers around us were suddenly wet with tears. My mouth was open, an eternally silenced scream, saliva dripping from behind my teeth and onto the ground, stained with the memory of my Mother.

I shot up straight, my eyes wide as I scanned my surroundings. I dragged a rough hand down my face when I realized I was still in school. There was never a moment I was left alone; memories were my soul torturer. I couldn't escape them, nor could I hide from them. Like pin-point needles, they pierced my skin. I couldn't fight back; all I could do was endure the pain and hope that it would end soon enough.

My memories were my worst enemy and the thing that would most likely destroy me in the end.