We were back at the same place where we left off from Bali - his head on my chest, his arms wrapped around my body as if I was a lifeline he needed to hold on to. My hand gently stroked his soft hair while the other hand was drawing small circles on his back. My emotions were swirling into a vortex of confusion.

What now? I thought.

“What are you thinking?” he asked as he looked up at me. There were a lot of questions that needed to be answered, but I was too afraid to ask them. I just have a feeling that it would ruin what we have right now. One second, he wants me to touch him, hold him then the next thing you know, he’s angry at you for no apparent reason. I should be kicking this man out of my place after what he did to me. I hate being in an emotional limbo with this man if I’m honest but, it can’t be helped.

But I wasn’t.

God, I’m such an idiot.

“Let’s not talk about it.” He frowned. “But I want to know.” I sighed.

“If I tell you, you’ll probably just go back to being an ass.” It was blunt but necessary. He didn’t say anything. He sat up and faced me.

“I’m sorry. I just didn’t…I didn’t uhm…” Seeing him making an excuse was even more painful to watch. “I told you, let’s not talk about it. I turned to my side, my back facing him. We were silent for a while. He lay down, wrapped his arm around my abdomen, pulled me closely. What’s shocking was he pressed his lips against my nape. I can feel the heat rushing through my body, igniting me through the bones.

“Killian,” I warned. He didn’t stop pressing soft kisses on my nape.

God, it felt otherworldly. His every touch just makes me make bad decisions. I shouldn’t be enjoying this. But I was. I felt his hand brush my chest and his hand grazed on my nipple, making me shudder.

Fuck.

My hand immediately grabbed his wrist. “Stop.” Mustering all my self-control. His hands went back to my abdomen and pulled me even closer. “Say it again.” He said in almost a low whisper.

“What?” I asked looking over my shoulder. “My name. Say it again.” His wolf-like eyes were burning with passion and lust.

“Killian.” I obliged.

He pulled me even closer and let out a low growl that vibrated to my chest. Suddenly, he was on top of me, both of his hands on the side of my head, eyes gazing at me intently, like a predator spotted its prey. “

You’re fucking beautiful, do you know that?” He was looking at my face, as if memorizing every inch of my skin and features.

“Killian,” my voice came out a whimper. “Please don’t.” My face felt warm. He leaned closer and pressed his lips at the side of my neck. I let out a moan. I placed a hand on my mouth.

I shouldn’t be enjoying this.

Killian kissed the side of my neck then up to my ear. As soon as he nibbled my ear, I arched my back out of sheer pleasure. A soft growl came out of his lips and another moan came out from mine.

What surprised me were the tears that escaped my eyes. Killian suddenly stiffened as I didn’t realize I was crying.

“Shit,” he hissed and pressed his forehead against my chest. “Shit, shit, shit!” He sat at the edge of the bed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know what came over me.” He said as he palmed his face and dug his hands in his hair. It was overwhelming. I didn’t want him to touch me like that just because he wanted to.

After all he did, he can’t just touch me like that. What I’m pissed about is that I fucking enjoyed every minute of it. It’s making me sick in the head. I didn’t realize he stood up and went out of my apartment.

❅ ❅ ❅

It has been a week since the incident. I made sure to focus all my energy into music and piano. I have not told anyone what happened… not even Luke. If he knew what happened that night, it would be a disaster. I realized I needed to restock some goods in my apartment. My pasta reserves were becoming extremely low thanks to a certain someone.

I decided to go grocery shopping. I was getting some supplies for my bathroom, where the aisle of toiletries are, when someone spoke behind me. “Oh, it’s you!” I turned around and the owner of the voice was a familiar face. She was the beautiful dark-skinned woman from that night. Her hair was now tied in a bun and I just can’t help but admire how beautiful her complexion was.

“Oh, hey,” I looked around, but I didn’t see any cart with her. Then I thought maybe she just needed a single item in this place. “How’ve you been?” her brown eyes scanned my face. I gave a smile. “Well,” hoping I would sound convincing. “That’s good I’mꟷ” as if on cue, a familiar voice trailed behind her.

“Tatiana, are we done? I have a meeting in an hour. I’m a very busy man.” Killian was approaching behind her, with a jar of pickles. His eyes were glued to the item in his hand. As soon as he looked at the woman named Tatiana, his eyes found mine. My blood ran cold. “Look who I bumped into,” she said as gave him a smile.

Tatiana looked at me “Your name is?” she asked as she cocked her head to the side ever so slightly. I tried to remain calm and composed. “Reidyr,” I gave her a smile.

“Tatiana, just call me Tati.” She held out a hand and I shook it. Then something flashed in my head. “How’s Gray by the way?” I asked Tatiana. I was so submerged into my own feelings I forgot about Grayson. Tatiana shot me a look and looked over her shoulder briefly. Killian on the other hand looked a little annoyed. It has been established that Grayson and Killian were not the best of friends.

The reason? I have no clue.