“Grayson is fine. He did ask how you were.” A pang of guilt just hit me like a freaking freight train. “I’ll just give him a call.” Tatiana raised her brow.

“You are friends with Gray?” She turned slowly to Killian. “Yeah we met at a bookstore and just bought the book I was looking for.” Tatiana smiled deviously, I frowned as if she was trying to imply something.

“Interesting…” She placed a beautifully manicured finger on her lip and studied me for a second but I didn't try to think about it too much. I made a mental note to call Grayson after grocery shopping.

“Well it was lovely meeting you Reidyr, may I call you Rei?” I smiled. “Lovely meeting you too. I have to go, I still have things to do.”

“See you around,” she gave me a hug which surprised me, but I didn’t mind. “See you Tati,” I looked at Killian. “Killian.” I said with a nod and went away. The rest of my shopping trip consisted of getting everything I needed and playing hide and seek with Killian and Tatiana.

I apologized to Grayson for not calling him immediately and thank God he did accept my apology, but it did come with a price. He invited me to one of their new galleries that will open soon in the city. I was absolutely going, I mean, I love art galleries anyway, so it’s a win-win situation.

My day was uneventful which I was thankful for. I felt like the past few weeks was an emotional roller coaster and I needed a break or else, I would lose my sanity. I just spent the whole night on my couch, watching reruns of Housewives and eating a tub of ice cream. The next morning Luke asked if I could accompany him to the nearest shopping mall. Apparently, he needed to buy a gift for his parents for their anniversary. I haven’t seen his parents in a long time.

“So, how’s your mom and dad?” I asked as we looked around. “My parents are doing well. I told them that we’re now living in the same city and wanted to let you know that they’ve missed you.” I smiled. Luke’s parents are nothing short of amazing people.

His Mom, Claire, was an amazing cook and doctor while his Dad, Raymond, was an excellent lawyer. I remembered whenever I slept over at their house back in California, it would be an understatement to say I always came home with a case of food coma and amazing memories. My parents and his parents were close friends, I guess that’s why Luke and I became such good friends ever since.

We went inside a store that sells home décor. We talked about what his parents would like and passed through contemporary art paintings, curtains, vases, but nothing seemed to fit to their taste, we thought. In the end, we didn’t find anything spectacular as an anniversary gift and just went to a nearby ice cream shop.

“What will you have?” I asked. Luke stood beside me as I fell in line. He raised a brow. Of course, since we were kids, he always had a thing for Cookies and Cream. “Why did I even ask.” I rolled my eyes and grabbed some cash as we waited in line.

“Hey, bathroom really quick.” Luke said as he disappeared. As soon as I ordered and picked the nearest vacant seat, lo and behold, Tatiana and Killian walked in. Not sure what they are to each other, but I don’t want to be around them both. I just feel uncomfortable. Well that is just being hypercritical of me.

I really don’t mind being around Tatiana. I feel like she’s a cool gal. It’s Killian that I didn’t want to be around. I tried to lower my head but damn it, Tatiana saw me. “Well, well, well, second time in just two days.” She said as she approached our table. I’m starting to think that Luke developed the ability to go to the bathroom during the times I needed him most. I looked up and faked a smile.

“Hey Tati,” she greeted me with a friendly kiss on the cheek. “What are you doing here?” She asked. Killian remained passive as a statue behind her, arms folded on his chest looking divine in a deep tan suit. His eyes were on me as usual. His jaws clenched but those eyes were not sending death glares my away, just utter annoyance.

Tati was wearing a black dress; heels. She had little make-up on but other than that, she looked like an Egyptian queen that came down to grace her subjects with her beauty. She saw that there were two cups of ice cream on the table. She raised her delicate eyebrow. “Oh, are you on a date or something?” She teased.

My eyes reflexively went to Killian whose eyes turned dark. “No, I’m with Luke. We were just looking to buy a present for his parents. It’s for their anniversary.” She smiled. “That’s nice. Where is the boy?” She looked around.

“He went to the bathroom.” I said as I took a spoonful of strawberry ice cream and shoved it in my mouth, letting the cold dessert soothe my nerves. “Okay, well I just craved for an ice cream and just happened to ask this guy behind me.”

She pointed to Killian over her shoulder with her thumb and with her eyes rolling. It was adorable. I smiled and looked at Killian and just gave a small nod. “I’ll leave you to your ice cream then. Tell Lucas I said hi.” I nodded. “See you.” I watched as Tatiana went to the counter to order, but Killian was still looking at me.

Lucas you better hurry the fuck up.

He grabbed something in his pocket and turned away. I noticed something fell from the pocket of his pants. It was a black bifold leather wallet. I sighed. Now I have the obligation to give it to him.

Just my luck. I quickly picked up the wallet and saw that he was leaning against the wall near the entrance of the store. I thought about giving it to Tatiana and let her give it to him. It was less painful that way, but Tatiana was busy giving out her order.

Just give it to him and walk away. I groaned internally and started walking towards him. I weaved in between the tables and chair, making sure I didn't bump into anyone.

When I reached him, he was already on his phone, his back facing me. “Excuse me,” I began. He didn’t seem to hear me.

“Ki…Killian.” Fuck. I’m stuttering as if I was giving out a public speech and I’m drowning in my own nerves. I lightly tapped his arm with his wallet when he spun and pushed my hand with such force his wallet flung and fell once again on the floor. He looked round, checking if anyone was looking and sneered.

“Don’t touch me.”

I was glad that no one paid that much attention but there were still eyes on us. Humiliation dawned on me like piles of bricks suddenly being dumped over my head. The memories back when I was young came.

The bullying because I was gay, the teasing, people won’t speak to me because of my sexuality and as you walk down the hall of the school, you know that you are the topic of their conversation.

“What’s going on?” Luke suddenly materialized beside us. His eyes looking at the two of us. Killian looked surprised. I am not sure if it’s because of what he did or if Luke suddenly appeared. I thought I’ve outgrown and endured those years of dealing with people who had a problem with my sexuality but as soon as it happened to me again, after so many years, it still hurts. The pain doesn’t go away. It stays with you for the rest of your life. I was shaking out of anger, pain, and frustration.

“Reidyr.” Luke called my name and I turned to him. I gave him a smile.

Luke’s eye flashed cold, freezing hell and it’s habitants. He knows the look I give whenever these things happen. I would know. I was just lucky that I had Luke growing up. As pathetic as it sounds, he’s the one always getting into fight because someone yelled a homophobic slur at me. He’s the one defending me from other people who bully me for basically being gay.

“You bastꟷ”

“Luke.” I deadpanned. He was surprised to see me smiling in an instant. I picked up Killian’s wallet, grabbed his wrist and placed the wallet in his hand. “You dropped this.” In that moment, I thought to myself, I need to fight my own battles. Killian was still in a state of shock.

“What’s going on?” Tatiana came with a cup of ice cream on her hand. He looked at the three of us. “Killian just dropped his wallet.” I gave her an assuring smile. I went back to our table, grabbed our ice cream cups that had melted ever so slightly.

“Let’s go?” Luke looked confused. He grabbed his cup of ice cream and we left. I didn’t realize that I was walking too fast ahead of him as Lucas had to jog a little and went in front of me.

“What did heꟷ”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit, Reidyr, I know that look. I’ve beaten up people because of that look.” It was a miracle that I was still able to keep everything in.

Maybe I got used to it?

Maybe I just decided to ignore it.

“And I love you for that. People like me would be very lucky to have a friend or anyone like you.” I paused, collecting my composure. “But let me take care of it. I can fight my own battles.” I assured him. Luke was in between a state of shock and surprised. “Are you sure?” I smiled.

“Positive.”

I was back in my apartment taking a hot bath. I let the warm water soothe my aching body after such a long day. I looked outside the window and into the night sky. A few moments later, I started crying. Releasing all the pain and frustration pent up in my chest and trying to reseal old wounds.

The next morning, I was in line at Starbucks and just craved a cup of hot chocolate. As soon as my drink was available, I grabbed my cup and bumped into someone unexpectedly. Killian. I flinched a little, making sure the hot drink on my hand would not spill. The fear intensified inside my body as soon as my brain registered that I was now facing the man who humiliated me yesterday.

“Hi,” he spoke.

I remained silent. “Listen,” he was about to reach out to touch me, but I stepped back and shook my head gently. A frown came across his face, surprised that I did not allow him to touch me. He looked around, looking for anyone who may be looking at us again.

“Reidyr, I’m so sorryꟷ” he was about to touch both of my shoulders. I stepped back again.

“Don’t touch me.” My tone was icy and blunt. His hazel eyes looked pained. “Butꟷ”

“Touch me again and I’ll cut your hand off and feed it to wolves.” I didn’t realize how much hate I had pent up in my chest. Every word I said to him was laced with pure resentment. “But whyꟷ” I managed to snicker. I heaved a long deep sigh trying to calm my nerves down.

“You had the audacity to ask why?”

The thought sickens me. Then it dawned on him. I saw how his eyes widened when he realized what I was trying to make him understand. I tilted my head slightly and gave a sarcastic smile. “Do you understand now?” It wasn’t a question.

“Now tell me how that feels.” I pushed past him, purposefully bumping him, and headed out with a stinging pain in my chest.