Alex curled up on his bed, facing the wall. He heard the door open and then close, and John's voice.

"Hey, you didn't come. What happened?"

Alex shrugged. "I don't feel that great, I'm sorry." He rolled over, dragging the blanket with him so that it covered his arms.

John frowned, "Don't be sorry, that sucks. Did you finish your essay?"

Alex shook his head, "No, I didn't. I have a headache."

That part was true at least. He did get headaches when he was feeling like this, headaches that pounded nails into the back of his skull, headaches that were so bright and loud that they canceled out the world until it was only pain.

"Well, if you need anything, just ask." John smiled at him and went into the bathroom.

Alex sat up.

He had forgotten to put his razor back.

Shit.

"Alex."

Shitshitshitshit.

John walked out holding the razor. "What is this?" He asked quietly, and Alex blinked back at him.

"I thought you were getting better," John said, and Alex stared at the ground. "I thought I was too," he whispered, and John sat next to him and gently pulled up his sleeves.

John sighed.

"Well, fuck."

X

Alex pulled the blanket farther over his head. He was exhausted. It seemed to settle into his bones, weighing him down, making him so heavy he felt like he could sink through the floor.

He could hear John moving around outside of his cocoon. He was probably getting ready for class.

Alex groaned internally. He really didn't want to go to class. He didn't want to pretend to jot down notes that he wouldn't really pay attention to, he didn't want to put on a happy face when really he felt like absolute crap.

A hand settled gently on his shoulder.

"Come on, Alex, we have to go to class," John said softly. He was trying to help him, trying to get him out back into the world.

Alex slowly poked his head out of his blanket burrito. "I don't feel that great. I think I'm going to stay here today," he mumbled, and John suppressed a sigh.

"Okay. Just be careful. Don't do anything. And call me if you need help," he said, and gathered his stuff, then shut the door quietly on his way out.

Alex burrowed back into his nest. It was quiet here. Dark. Warm.

Comfortable.

No probing questions. No worried friends. No annoying Jefferson.

He drifted between conciousness and sleep, fragments of dreams staying behind in his head while he tried to block out the world.

Alex knew that he needed to get help. He needed his meds adjusted again, he needed to get up and do something before the situation got worse than it already was.

But at the same time...

What was the point? It would always be like this, the same cycle of feeling better and then feeling worse, where heavy blankets of fog lay down on his shoulders until he felt like he was being crushed into the ground.

His door opened again.

"John, I don't want to go to class," he groaned into the pillow.

"Okay, first of all, I'm not John, second, we're not going to class, we're getting coffee."

Alex looked up.

Angelica, Eliza, and Peggy stood in the doorway, Angelica being the one who had spoken.

"I don't want coffee, I want to go back to sleep," Alex muttered, and Angelica rolled her eyes. "Well that sucks. We're all sick of watching you sit and mope around. You're coming with us." She threw a shirt at him, "Get dressed, mopey."

Alex grumbled and dragged himself out of bed, going into the bathroom and pulling on a shirt and pants, then yanking his hair up into a messy bun.

He left a note to John on the door: The Schuylers kidnapped me for coffee. If I'm not back in two hours come save me.

It was chilly out, and Alex was grateful he had on a thick sweatshirt. They walked to the coffee shop, the sisters chatting and trying to get Alex to participate.

It did kind of feel good to be out of his dorm room. He was reluctant to admit it, but Alex was kind of grateful that the Schuylers were forcing him back into society. Maybe it was what he really needed.

"So whats been happening?" They were all sitting around a table, sipping their coffees, and Eliza had just asked the question that opened the gates of information.

Alex shrugged and looked at his coffee. "I get depressed sometimes. It's not that much of a big deal."

Angelica raised her eyebrows, "Um, obviously it is a big deal. For the past three days John's been flipping his lid."

Alex felt a flash of guilt.

Three days? He must have lost track of time.

And poor John...No wonder he was worrying.

Well, now at least he was outside. He was socializing.

You're at college now, Alex. Pull your shit together and deal with it. You can't just hide in your bed when this happens. Grow up.

"Well, I'm out of my room now. You guys kind of forced me to re-enter society," he said, and gave a small smile. Peggy giggled.

"Angie's kind of pushy that way," she said apologetically, and Eliza laughed. "Yeah, she's been ordering us around since we were kids."

Angelica shrugged, "It's true."

"So what are you guys here for?" Alex asked, realizing he didn't know that much about them. He knew that Angelica was dating a guy named John Church, Eliza was single, and Peggy was dating Maria, and that was it.

"Well, I'm studying to be a lawyer, Eliza is training to be an EMT, and Peggy-"

"I can tell my own damn career choice," Peggy cut in, smiling. She turned to Alex, "I'm here on an art scholarship."

"That's cool," Alex said, and he smiled back at Peggy. "I haven't decided yet, but I know I want to do something with writing and maybe politics or the law."

Angelica nodded, "I think you'd be a great politician, you definitley are good at arguing from what I hear from John. He talks about you alot."

Alex blushed.

X

When the sisters finally let him go back to his room, Alex found John sitting at his desk, staring dazedly at his Law book.

He looked up when he heard the door shut, and smiled tentatively at Alex, "How was coffee?"

"It was actually okay," Alex said, and John visibly relaxed, relieved that Alex was acting a little like his normal self.

"I think I'm going to go to class tomorrow," Alex remarked casually, and John grinned.

"Seriously?"

"Yep. As long as we can get coffee after."

John laughed, "I think I can handle that."