Some part of me is concerned that Noah might have found a way out of my apartment during the two minutes I spent out in the hallway with Aiden.

I find myself holding my breath as I open the door.

Noah is standing by the window, fidgeting with his lip piercing. He turns to look at us, and freezes.

Aiden’s blue eyes no longer hold any of the menace or cold apathy that they did in high school. They’re compassionate now, and warm. But they’re no less acute and discerning than they were before, and the moment they land on Noah, he balks.

He already seemed half ready to fall apart and half ready to run, but now, he disintegrates. It looks like he’s come down with a sudden fever. His cheeks turn a burning red, his hands start to shake, and he backs up against the window.

“Oh, Jesus,” he stammers. “You know what? Never fucking mind. I can’t do this shit. I’m out of here.”

He strides to the door of my apartment, his frantic energy creating some kind of vortex, sucking all of the air out of the room.

Panic starts to rise within me, but before Noah can get through the open door, Aiden puts an arm directly across it, blocking his way out.

“Whoops, okay.” He puts his other hand on Noah’s chest and gives him a gentle push backwards. “Nope. We’re not doing that.”

Noah tries to duck under the arm Aiden has stretched across the doorway, and Aiden simply drops it lower, blocking him again.

Noah tries to plow right through, to move Aiden’s arm with the full force of his body. The effort is so totally ineffective that it’s almost comical. He may as well try to ram his way through a brick wall. Aiden’s arm doesn’t so much as buckle, and if it’s costing him one iota of effort, it doesn’t show.

Noah backs up, panting, and tosses his hair out of his eyes.

“Really, Aiden? You’re gonna clothesline me, right now?”

“Yep, and I can do this all night, bro, so you may as well go sit down.”

Noah glares at him, his eyes smoking with anger and apprehension.

He turns away, breathing out a long, frustrated sigh.

Aiden closes the door, then shrugs off his jacket. He strides into the living room, where he opens the window and drops to sit in the armchair.

I watch him affectionately, my racing heart slowing to a manageable pace.

He’s such a steadying presence, my Companion Plant. His gentle eyes, his calm, his deep, quiet voice - it all knits together and descends over me like a warm blanket, soothing the anxiety that’s been plaguing me all night.

I stop behind the couch, hoping that Noah will sit down. He does not. He goes to stand by the open window, taking deep, gulping breaths of the cold air rolling in.

He leaves a sizable distance between himself and Aiden.

“Okay,” Aiden says, “If the escape attempt is over, can someone please tell me what’s going on?”

“Noah?” I murmur. “You want to take this one?”

Noah doesn’t turn around, only shakes his head no.

“Alright, I can tell it, but I need you to let me know if I get anything wrong.”

Noah gives me the smallest, barest nod, hugging himself like he needs to be protected from something.

I take Aiden through everything Noah and I talked about tonight. I wish that I could tell him about my conversations with Raj and Mel, too, but I can’t, not with Noah listening. I leave that part out.

Noah doesn’t say a word, the whole time. Every now and then he glances warily at Aiden, or winces, like he’s embarrassed by what I’m saying. But he doesn’t correct me on anything.

Aiden listens closely and silently. He sits forward in the armchair, his elbows on his knees, his fingers laced loosely together. I think he’s working hard not to react, because the most he does is blink rapidly at the more surprising parts, and occasionally look over at Noah.

When I come to the end, I take a deep breath, and add:

“So, um - now Noah is worried that maybe you’ll be upset with him, because Melanie is your ex, and he knows that you weren’t exactly stoked when you heard that Ralph asked her out right after you left.”

Aiden sits back in the armchair and lets out a long breath, processing everything.

It takes him a good chunk of time to decide what he wants to say in a normal conversation, and I’ve just given him a heap of information to get through, so I suspect we’ll have to wait for a bit.

But only seconds later, Aiden says:

“I’m not mad at you about it, Noosh. Not at all.”

Noah shoots him a startled, sidelong glance. “What?”

Aiden takes a moment to choose his words.

“Mellie is her own person,” he says slowly, “And it’s really not my business what she does with her personal life. We’re not together anymore, we haven’t been for a long time. If anything, I just want her to be happy.”

Noah blinks at Aiden, disbelieving. “But - when Ralph-?”

“That was a totally different situation,” Aiden says firmly. “I wasn’t pissed off at Ralph for asking Mellie out, I was pissed that he tried to use her to get back at me. Making a move on her when she was hurting, two days off our breakup. I doubt that she’d have gone on a date with him if he’d asked when she had her head on her shoulders.”

Noah frowns at Aiden. “She never went on a date with him.”

Aiden draws back, confusion spreading over his face. I catch his eye, and we exchange a puzzled glance.

“Angie said that they went on one date,” I tell Noah.

His frown deepens into a scowl.

“Angie only thinks that because that’s what Ralph told everyone. Even me. I got the truth from Mel, only eight fucking years later. He did ask her out, but she said no.”

Aiden stares blankly at Noah, then turns to look at me, stunned.

I’m feeling the same exact way.

“Jesus Christ!” I sputter. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Wow,” Aiden growls. “Ralph’s got other people doing his lying for him, and they don’t even know that they’re - wow. Ain’t that some shit?” He shakes his head, trying to get back on task. “Okay, well - the point is, don’t let my past with Melanie get in the way of your future with her, Noosh.”

“My future with her? What future, we don’t have-” Noah breaks off, swallowing hard, looking like he’s drowning again. “None of this even matters, anyways! There’s no way for us to be together. Melanie is Raj’s girl, so-”

“Raj, who you also have feelings for, right?” Aiden interrupts.

It stops Noah still, to hear it put like that.

He tries to answer, but falters, and runs a hand over his eyes.

Aiden’s expression softens. He gets to his feet, moves to join Noah by the window.

“Believe me, I know what you’re going through right now,” he says gently. “Outside influences have been talking in your ear your entire life, selling you a very narrow idea of what love is supposed to look like. You can learn to distrust the truest things within yourself, from all that bullshit. I know it’s throwing you off that you want to be with both Raj and Mel, and it’s probably throwing you off even more that Raj is a guy, and you’re not attracted to guys. But that’s you. That’s what you want. You don’t have to let anyone else impose their definitions of love and happiness on you, if they don’t fit right.”

Noah just looks at Aiden, his expression blank, his face pale. I drift closer, coming to stand by his side.

“I know that it’s hard to admit it to yourself,” I tell him. “Sometimes you’ve gotta crawl through it for a while before you can walk with your head held high, and sometimes the final leap is the toughest one to make. But refusing to say it out loud doesn’t make it any less real. It won’t change your feelings. You already know that, don’t you? Because all this time, you’ve been trying to let go of how you feel about Melanie, and you can’t.”

Aiden nods, his eyes still on Noah.

“Forget all that outside shit,” he says. “Forget what you think you’re supposed to feel.” He puts a hand over his own chest. “Just listen to what’s in here. That’s the only voice that really matters, anyways.”

Aiden falls silent, and I keep quiet, too, giving Noah time.

He works his inky fingers into his hair, his jaw tensed, his eyes wandering somewhere up over my head.

Finally, he lets out a shaking breath, and says:

“Fine, okay? Fine. I love both of them the same way. Even if it’s not a physical thing, with Raj.”

My hands fly up to my cheeks, and Aiden twists to look at me, grinning from ear to ear.

“Can you two please stop fucking smiling like that?” Noah groans.

“No!” I beam at him, wishing I could give him a hug. “We’re excited for you!”

Aiden is clearly struggling to contain his excitement, too. “Yeah, man, I think you’re probably bi or pan romantic!"

Noah thinks about that for a minute.

“Okay,” he answers slowly, “Well - Pan, that’s cool, right? Wasn’t he the god of like - wine, and partying, or whatever?”

“Um - what?” Aiden lets out a startled little laugh. “No, dude, not Pan like the ancient Greek god, and that’s definitely not how you sort out what your-”

I tug on Aiden’s sleeve, and he looks down at me.

“Hey,” I whisper. “He’s new here.”

Aiden reconsiders what he was going to say.

“Ah - you just might want to do some more research before you decide what you want to call yourself, Noosh. Very cool if you are pan, though. I mean, I’m bi, so I’m pretty sure that would make us cousins.”

Noah blinks in surprise, and then laughs. It’s the first laugh I’ve heard from him all night that actually sounds real, if a little shaky.

“Dope,” he says. “So, if that’s the case, then I’ve got a lesbian cousin and a bi cousin. Feels like I should have a gay cousin, too?”

“Well, don’t look at me,” I tell him. “No offense, dude, but I’m not interested. I will not be affiliated with a man who routinely eats Scorpion chips.”

Noah laughs again. “Fuck you, dude!”

It feels really good to hear him laugh, after everything he’s gone through tonight, but - it doesn’t last long. His expression falls, and he presses his palms to his eyes, lets out a heavy breath.

“That doesn’t help me, though,” he groans. “I mean - what the fuck do I do? Jamie’s brilliant idea that the three of us should be together-”

“Um, I really wouldn’t call that my idea-”

“-is obviously not a real option, so what else is there?”

Aiden tips his head to the side. “I’m sorry - why is that not a real option?”

Noah looks at him like he can’t fathom how it’s not obvious.

“I don’t fucking know! It’s just not - I don’t know anyone else who’s had a relationship like that.”

“Oh,” Aiden says. “Okay, um. Who gives a fuck?”

“Jesus Christ, dude!” Noah drops his hands and fixes Aiden with a frustrated glare. “It’s just not the way shit works!”

“Says fucking who?”

“I don’t know! Everybody!”

A laugh escapes me before I can stop myself. I clasp my hands over my mouth, but it’s way too late. Both Noah and Aiden turn to face me with raised eyebrows.

“I’m sorry,” I say quickly, “It’s just - looking at you, Noah, I wouldn’t think that you’d be the type of guy to make important life decisions based on what’s most conventionally accepted.”

Aiden turns to look at Noah, the sea of tattoos and piercings, the long hair that reaches his shoulders. The ripped-up charcoal t-shirt he’s wearing, which has a RAW Rolling Papers logo on the front.

“Yeah, wait a second,” Aiden laughs, “What are you even talking about, Noosh? You’re gonna settle for what’s safe? Since when? That’s not you. I mean, you have an opportunity here to break a mold you don’t fit in, do your own thing, do it in the face of anyone who tells you not to. Why are you working so hard to put yourself back on the leash?”

“I…” Noah is struggling hard for an answer, clearly bewildered. “I don’t...”

Aiden catches his gaze, and Noah manages not to look away.

“You want to be on cruise control?” Aiden asks. “Or do you want to drive?”

Noah’s grey eyes grow serious and thoughtful.

“What about Nik?” he says slowly. “She’d have three parents?”

“Yeah, why not?” I say.

Noah’s eyes flit to me. “And that’s just - fine?”

“I’m sorry.” Aiden’s voice turns suddenly rough, and a spark of anger flares in his blue eyes. “Is there some direct line between having two parents and being a healthy, happy kid? Because I had two parents, and let me fucking tell you, when I was a kid, they both made my life-”

I gently rest a hand on Aiden’s arm. He cuts himself off, leans towards the window, and takes a breath.

“Sorry, Aiden,” Noah murmurs, taken aback.

“Don’t - it’s fine.” Aiden adjusts his snapback, flaps a hand at Noah. “I’m just saying, I don’t see where it’s set in stone that two parents is the only good way to raise a kid.”

“Do you, Mel, and Raj all have shared goals, when it comes to Nikita?” I ask Noah. “Goals like - that you’ll be a constant source of strength and support for her? That she’ll always have the three of you as a haven of comfort, and honesty, and closeness?”

“Yeah, of course,” he says, without a second of hesitation. “But, I mean… I’m no fucking parent, man. What do I have to give to Nikita?”

“I think that you’re supposed to teach your kids about love, and survival,” I answer, “And - you’ve got experience with both, Noah.”

Aiden sits down on the windowsill, puts his face close to the cold air drifting in.

“Plus, man, you can give Nik a firsthand demonstration of what it looks like to trust your inner voice, and live in a way that’s truthful to who you are.” He shrugs his broad shoulders. “Pretty sure that’s the richest inheritance anyone can give their kid.”

Noah bites his lip, then grabs two frustrated handfuls of his hair.

“Okay, but - so what, I’m just supposed to hope that Mel and Raj both happen to want the same thing that I do? And that Raj feels the same way about me as I do about him? Because it’s a very - specific kind of way.”

It’s a battle for me to not inform Noah that Raj has already bought him an engagement ring.

I hesitate, then poke his shoulder. “You know what I think Raj would say?”

Noah quirks an eyebrow. “No?”

“He’d say there’s no such thing as too much love.”

Noah stares at me, then lets out a soft laugh. His grey irises flash that bright, magnesium color, and he smiles to himself.

Suddenly I see it there so clearly, all the love held in Noah’s eyes.

“Yeah,” he says quietly. “That sounds like Raj.”

He seems to steady out. Just the tiniest bit, but he gets a full breath in his lungs, and his shoulders aren’t quite so tensed up. He rubs his arm, thinking over everything that’s been said.

“You’re really telling me that you two are both on board with this idea? And you seriously think there’s a chance that Raj and Mel will be, too?”

“You don’t need our approval, Noosh,” Aiden tells him.

“But you do have our support,” I add. “And as for Raj and Mel, I really think - you’ve been so tangled up trying to figure all this out, that you’ve been missing all the signs. But I’ve been seeing them everywhere I look. You have no idea how much they both care about you.”

Noah’s cheeks turn a faint shade of pink. His eyes flit to Aiden, seeking some kind of confirmation.

Aiden gets back to his feet, and slaps Noah’s shoulder.

“Run with the pack, man,” he says. “Believe me, they want you there.”