"Huh?" Alora's eyes snapped open. She bounded upward and searched around the room, wildly, before noticing Shale. "What are you doing? Is everything okay?"

"Yes. Please be quiet. Everything's fine."

"Is it still night?"

"Yes. It's still night. Listen to me. I have to leave, okay?"

"Leave?" All traces of sleep left her eyes as they became lucid. "What in the name of Bragan do you mean?"

"I can't stay in the monastery anymore. I have to leave tonight."

Alora's brow knit together as she puzzled the words out. "To go off with those people from the inn? Shale, you can't. There's something very strange about those folk."

"I know. I don't trust them either."

"Wait. I don't understand. Where are you going then?"

"Out east, to Blackfin."

"Blackfin? Eleven above!"

"Shh. Please, try to be quiet. Blackfin or anywhere really. Anywhere that I can have a fresh start."

"But-"

"It'll mean breaking my vows. It'll mean excommunication. I know. I'm fine with that."

"Eleven," Alora said softer this time. She ran her fingers through her hair. "Life isn't like a storybook, Shale. Folk can't just turn their back on security and shelter. You should hear some of the struggles of those outside of town, who come here to confess."

"I do hear them," Shale said seriously. "I know what I'm getting into and I'm willing to take my chances."

Alora frowned.

"Please, Alora. I don't belong here. You must see that. I'm not good at it the way you are. If I stay, I'll wither up. I need to leave, even if it's the more difficult path. I need you."

"I'm so sorry, Shale." Her expression slackened. "Truly, I am. But I just can't aid you in this. I'm going back to sleep."

"No, but-"

Alora turned away, leaving Shale on the edge of her bed, feeling sick. For one brief, beautiful moment, she'd been close to sampling the sweet milk of freedom, but it'd soured before it so much as touched her lips.

What could she do now except return to bed? She wanted to cry, wanted to scream, but just felt too weak and broken to make a fuss. Numbly, she stood and drifted back across the room.

"Yes," Alora said, "Into a deep sleep. So deep in fact that if someone were to go into the third drawer of my bedside cabinet and dig under the blankets to find my keys, why I don't think even the rattle should wake me."

In one glorious instant, the emptiness inside Shale was replaced by pure elation. She rushed to Alora, forgetting that she had to keep quiet, and threw her arms around the junior SanMother. "Thank you, oh thank you. Thank you so much."

Alora did not move. In response, she simply gave a loud, theatrical snore.

Upon retrieving the keys, Shale swiftly exited the dormitory and scampered through the corridor and down the stairway. She made her way into the prayer room.

As she walked down the aisle, she reflected that it was the first time she had ever been in this room in the dark of night. It was haunting, with all those murals and mosaics staring at her. She was particularly aware of the Eleven alabaster Gods at the opposite end of the room, watching her as she approached the large double doors. They would disapprove of what she was going to do next.

The key chain jangled with six brass keys as she shuffled through them. She was hit by a brief moment of guilt. Would this stunt somehow damage Alora's standing within the monastery? Was she adept enough at lying to allow the blame to rest on Shale? Surely, with the two girl's reputations weighed against each other, the seniors would just assume Shale was a thief. While she mulled this over, she tried four of the keys in the lock, with no result.

Panic was beginning to rise within her as she tried the fifth one. That key turned slightly further and gave a distinctive click.

The heavy doors swung open and the cool night breeze washed over Shale's face. Closing her eyes, she took one moment to inhale the sweet aroma of the fresh town air. Then, she took one step towards freedom.

"Ah," said a voice, "And thus the faithful day arrives."

When Shale turned, she saw SanMother Zeera looming in the middle of the aisle, draped in her black nightgown. Of course she was here. The woman had haunted her for thirteen years, so it was only apt for her to be present at the end too. Normally, Shale would wilt under that harsh stare, but tonight, she felt stronger, as if wrapped in armour. She steeled herself and held her chin high, trying to remain brave.

"Did you really think you could sneak past my solar without my hearing?" SanMother Zeera said.

"I've done it a thousand times before," Shale said venomously. "More than that, in fact. But tonight there was no sneaking. Because I'm not afraid of you anymore."

"Oh really?" Zeera edged closer. Concealed within shadow, somehow her features appeared sharper, more menacing. "I knew this day would arrive as soon as you were left here by that uncle of yours."

Shale's back became rigid.

"Oh yes. I stood right here, in this very aisle, and listened to him explain to Felda how you were special and needed special care. Soft heart as she had, she actually took a liking to you. But I knew right from the start that you were impure."

Every muscle in Shale's body burned with quiet rage. "You knew?"

"Knew?"

"You knew that my uncle left me here. You told me I was found on the monastery steps, but you never told me about him or the fact that he spoke to Felda."

"What does it matter?" Zeera sneered. "Felda had an endless reserve of patience for you and even found your mind wanderings amusing. She was blind to the fact that it became more evident, year upon year, that you were a lost cause." Zeera took another step forward. "Some stains cannot be washed out, I told her, and I told her that a day would come when you would turn your back on us all and forsake your duty to the Hekkari."

Something horrible was stirring in Shale. She could feel it, hot in her veins. Zeera had always been a bully, but to actively conceal a piece of an orphan's history, that was another level of cruelty.

"You really think so much of your stone walls?" Shale said, glancing over her shoulder through the doorway. "I don't see how it's any more holy in here than out there."

"You think it's a kindly world out there? You think strawberries rain from the sky and the rivers flow with ambrosia?" Zeera laughed. "Once you taste the real world, that of hunger and cold, you will know all that we've done for you here."

"Felda gave me the roof over my head. You've given me nothing but misery."

"You don't know true misery, girl. One day you will. One day you'll be back on our steps, begging to come back. But it'll be too late. We don't forget oath breakers here. Out there, you'll amount to the same as you were in here. Nothing."

Shale took another step. As she stood in the doorway, halfway in and halfway out, the wind tousled her hair. It tugged her clothes, as if calling her forth. There was so much out there, such a grand world to see. The fear inside her was dying away. The rains of anxiety were lost in an ocean of possibility. She was writing her own story from here on in. Now she could be anything. "I may fall on hard times out there. I may not even survive, but it's better to die a quick death out there than to suffer a slow one in here."

"I bet that sounds incredibly noble to your deluded mind."

"No. I know the weight of my choice. That's why it took this long. But I see now that it's better to live an uncertain, free life, than to be worn down into a scared, bitter, broken old woman like you, whose only source of joy comes from making others feel small. I pity you."

Likely, the senior had never been spoken to like this before and her mind had to realign against the new foe. Her features folded, weighed down by all the vile things that probably passed through her mind.

But Shale wouldn't give her the satisfaction of voicing them. She did not deserve the closure. "Eleven watch over you, SanMother. You will need them far more than I." And with that, she stepped outside and slammed the door closed.