“What! No!” Yin breathes as she scrambles to her knees and rushes back to me. When she sees the bite on my hand she gasps. “I…there’s no way! It must be from when you got hit by the bear! You can’t be bitten…!”

“It’s a bite mark, Yin. I’m sorry.” I take the katana in my good hand and rise to my feet. “Your promise...I’m going to have to ask you to fulfill it a little early.” She stares at me like I’ve become an alien. The wolves all around us are howling, baying wildly as they circle for the kill. They smell fresh blood. But Yin only has eyes for me.

“I won’t. I can’t.”

I don’t answer at first. Instead, I rush forwards, cutting down an infested wolf. Another comes from behind, the classic attack pattern of canines. But I’m ready. This time I won’t be taken by surprise. The katana whistles back, aimed directly for the neck.

I am the Black Butcher, Hei. This is the only gift I can give Yin before I ask for death.

Even now, I can feel the virus racing through my arm, into my shoulder. It’s like novocaine, a gentle numbing fire which makes it hard to think. But I keep on swinging, keep on killing. My level rises wildly and I realize this could be a mistake.

Congratulations!

Congratulations!

Congratulations!

Yin must kill me before I rise. Else, I will be unstoppable at this rate!

Panic fills my heart, but to be honest, I can’t stop killing these things. I’m so tired, but all that matters to me is that Yin survives. I’ll clear each and every last one of these bastards and at the very least, she will be able to move on after slaying me and taking my experience. That is my plan. I don’t look back at her until the last wolf hits the ground. I have no clue how many I have killed. All I can see is my level. It flashes dimly in the corner of my vision.

Lvl. 14.

I’m strong.

Way too strong.

And fading fast.

Moving so much has spread the disease through my body even faster. When I turn around, Yin’s crying. Her beautiful eyes are open wide, as she takes in the slaughter I have unleashed on the ones trying to take me from her. I’ve guaranteed her survival. But our time together will end here no matter what I do. My vision is blurry. I’d like to say its from blood loss but I think the stinging in my eyes would give away the lie. I’m crying too.

I don’t want our time to end.

I don’t want to die, to go into that endless blackness, and experience that horrible thing taking me over once again.

The virus cannot be reasoned with. I can’t bargain for more time. Only Yin can save me from becoming the Gray again.

“Do it.” I walk over, turn the bloody katana down to face the dirt and wait for her to take it. Even my uninfected hand has begun to shake as the virus overrides my motor neurons. It’s almost there, almost in my spine and my brain. Running around so much means I have little time left. “Kill me. Cut off my head right now. You can’t hesitate.”

“I…don’t want to.” Yin’s hand reaches out for the handle but she doesn’t take it. Just watches me with the saddest expression. “Do I really have to?”

“Yes. If I come back as one of them, I’ll be the worst plague this world has ever seen. First, I’ll rip you apart. Then I’ll move on to the town back there. And then no one will be safe. Do you understand? Now it is the time to honor your promise!” I shove the katana at her. Still, she won’t take it, so I let it drop, the tip stabbing into the dirt. The blade stands there, quivering, ready for her to take. I’m starting to see it now. The red on the edges of my vision is being replaced with gray. It’s like the world is fading from me. My strength leaving.

I just want to give in and lie down.

But still, Yin won’t take the sword. Won’t end it.

“You don’t deserve this. After all you’ve done to help me.” She whispers quietly. I shake my head. Already, I can feel how stiff my neck has become.

My muscles are locking up. I’m losing control.

I go down to one knee, unable to stand straight. The blade lies between us like a wall I can never cross. Soon it will be the knife which separates us forever.

“I…I let your friends die. So, I could be closer to you. They were trash.” My lips say something awful. But I’m desperate to convince her. Desperate to save her. I’ll say anything if it means she can survive. Yin’s face is filled with doubt. She’s hurt. Doesn’t understand why I’m telling her this.

“You’re lying!” She cries. But I hold her gaze, show her that I’m not.

“It’s the truth. I watched from between the buildings until they died. Then I went and saved you.” I thought the weight of my sin would lessen when I told her this. I’ve felt guilty about it, but since I knew what they were really like, I did my best to ignore it. Now it’s all coming out. But it doesn’t feel good. I don’t feel any release. Just more and more tension as my muscles clench. The virus is no longer like novocaine. It isn’t numbing, it burns like fire! Tearing away my control one bit of me at a time.

“Why are you telling me this?” Yin breaths, the tears falling freely from her eyes. I want to say I’m sorry, but to be honest, my jaw has locked up completely. I can’t move it anymore. Only gaze at her stupidly while pointing to the blade and my neck. “I won’t believe it. You’ve taken care of me! You must have had some reason!”

I shake my head sadly, unable to speak. Her sad face leans in, stopping just short of the katana. I can see it there, her hesitation, her fear, her confusion. My heart feels like it’s breaking except so does the rest of me. Then…

*CRUNCH!*

Yin is sent tumbling back. On top of her, an infected wolf leans down and bites deep with a vicious savagery. Her surprised face is filled with real pain along with the sadness as it tears her apart. I can’t move.

I know this creature.

I thought I killed it a minute ago.

I wasn’t careful enough.

My hands were too numb to notice I failed to completely sever its spine.

“Ahhh! Hei! HELP-!”

*Puchi*

Her scream is cut off as it finds her throat. Everything is going gray. I manage to put my hands on the hilt of the blade, and pull it out of the dirt, but I can’t stand up. I’m just stuck there on one knee, watching as the bastard wolf destroys all my plans and devours the one person I wanted to save. Yin’s head falls to the side. Blood drips from her lips as her blank stare finds me. It accuses me of not saving her. I can hear her last scream echoing still, though all I’m really hearing is the sounds of the wolf feasting.

*Crunch*

*Crunch*

It almost looks like Yin’s lips are still moving, like she’s trying to say something to me but I can’t hear anything over the horrible, horrible chewing. I want so bad to stand up and cut that thing’s head off. If I had just been more careful, more decisive, Yin wouldn’t have had to suffer so…so horribly. As the Gray almost completely covers my vision, I decide what I must do.

I turn the sword so the blade is up. Put it under my chin. I’ve sharpened it well. The tip cuts into the underside of my throat without trouble. My left hand is useless, the Gray has it now. But my right is still under my control.

Yin. I’m so sorry. I’ll fix this. I won’t mess up next time!

I wrap my fingers around the blade, feeling the steel bite into my fingers. It’s secure. It won’t move. Then I look up at the sky as I line the tip up. When it is centered directly under the center of my mouth, I close my eyes. And push myself down as hard as I can.

Puchi!

Somewhere between the time it takes for the blade to penetrate my skull and for me to lose unconsciousness, I hear a voice which is not mine scream. It grasps for control, but it is too late. I’ve already destroyed the brain.

NO!