"We are about to do something you hate. Group projects," the substitute math teacher announces.
Since when do we do projects for math? "Each group has to choose a mathematical theory. You have to research it and apply it in real life. This is due in a month. So no excuses."
The loud groans from the students were heard throughout the hall.
I was sitting next to Elias. We have grown closer since we started to text. He's really nice and I'm taking each day at a time.
I noticed Aisa glanced at me, but I looked away.
I have been ignoring him more than usual. Although we have a few classes together I have switched seats in all. I feel bad about my decisions, but I feel like it's the right thing to do. Lately, I can't see the difference between jealousy and love.
I love Asia but I'm also jealous of him. I want to be him. I wanted to be with him and I want what he has. I'd rather be far away from him than face him. I've noticed the looks that he's been throwing at me, but I can't help it. I rather hurt him, than hold myself accountable.
When the teacher told everyone to find a partner, Asia ran over to me. "We are partners right?"
If it wasn't for Iris, Asia was always my partner in group projects. I just couldn't work with him this time. "I'm working with Elias. Sorry."
Elias sat up straight and looked confusedly at me. "We never -"
"Really? We usually work together. Why change now?" Asia looked hurt and I didn't feel happy doing this to him.
"I wanted to try something different. I'm sorry. You can work with Iris."
"I was hoping that the three of us could work in a group, but never mind," he turned to Elias and smiled. "See you later." He turned around and walked back to his seat. The smile slowly fell from his face as he started talking to Iris. She then turned around and looked at me with a raised eyebrow.
With the guilt inside of me, I couldn't hold her gaze.
"Uh... what was that about?" Elias asked looking really confused.
I felt bad for involving him in my mess, but I didn't have a choice.
"I know you're new and you don't have many stable friends in this class. So would it be okay if we work as a team?"
"Oh, thank you." His cheeks were dusted with flashes of red. "I hope we can do an amazing job!"
"You sound way too enthusiastic for this," I interjected with a laugh. "This is going to be dumb."
"I love math and we can hang out more. I'm looking forward to it."
"Do you have something in mind? I think it's one theory per group. So we need to think of something quickly."
He shrugged. "I'll do some research and then we can discuss if that's okay."
"Sure. It's not a problem at all. I'm really looking forward to working with you, "I blurted out.
"Really? Me too." He blushed again. I loved his blush. His cheeks and nose turn slightly pink and he scrunches his nose.
I really loved his blush and I wanna see it again.
"Yeah, I want to spend more time with you."
Now I was just blurting out whatever came to my mind. The filter I usually wore, was thrown away and the only thing in my mind was Elias' reactions.
He looked so beautiful.
"Me too... I'm going to the bathroom." He abruptly stood up and ran out of the hall.
I didn't even manage to think of anything else before Iris was storming over to me.
"Why don't you want to work with us?" she demanded. "It's usually us three. Why did you pick Elias over us? Asia is really hurt.
"I figured that Elias would feel comfortable if he was working with a friend."
She folded her arms and watched me with her usual intensity. "Okay."
"Okay?"
"Yup. I am not getting involved. There is something that you're not telling me. But the last thing I'll ever do is force you to talk. There's been some weird energy around you and Asia for a few months. If you have a problem talk to him. Communicating is really easy."
With a frown, I slumped down into my seat. "It's not that easy and I don't want to talk about it."
"Okay. I'll be over there with Asia. See you at lunch."
She turned to walk away when I pulled her hand. "Are you mad at me?"
"I'm not."
I tried not to look when she started to talk with Asia again. I obviously felt guilty, but I wasn't going to admit to anyone how I felt about Asia. That was something that I would hold inside for a really long time.
"Sorry. I am back now. Did you figure out what theory you'd like to do?"
"I didn't. Did you?
"Well, I couldn't really use my phone while using the restroom." The humor in his voice made me smile. "But off the top of my head, we can do the probability theory."
As an avid math failure, I will gladly follow everything that he wants, if it means that I get to spend time with him and pass.
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