Do you want to enable holographic mode?

Yes / No

Okay, it seems that the game is not over yet, since the live stream is still going on. Wow, that means that they have been playing for over six hours already.

I know from experience that the Holographic Mode is not free for huge events like this and I am not really in the mood to pay for something that I am not sure I will be able to even enjoy anyways.

I click on ‘No’ and sit back against my pillows as the live feed fills my screen.

“-still recovering from that absolutely beautiful goal from the captain of the Repun Sea Cats, number 77 Arum Lily Lee! 

But no matter how dazzling that goal was I am afraid it simply won’t be enough. With only two minutes left on the clock and a score of 11-8 in favor of the Nadraki Desert Lions it seems that this match is..”

I used to love watching Gravball. Matter of fact the Repun Sea Cats was my favorite team.

I don’t think that there is a child in the world today that has not once dreamed of becoming a Gravball player. Myself included.

Gravball is a sport played within an enclosed football field-sized stadium and the entire arena has its gravity reduced to almost zero so that the players can fly through the air to hit the ball. It is played by two teams with a maximum of five active players for each side allowed in the field at once. But the most fascinating aspect of it is that the players wear a special magitek suit that converts their life force into pure, unfiltered raw magical energy.

This makes Gravball the only place in the world where you are not limited to your magic class. Inside the dome everyone is equal so status does not matter. This is what makes the sport so very popular and a lot of people from all kinds of classes in society dream of making it into this sport and reaching the ultimate top.

The Gravball World Cup takes place every three years and this year it is held in the Republic of Atlantia. The final game always coincides with the last day of what is universally known as the Week of Remembrance.

In this week each day is dedicated to one of the Gods. Their names are Eostre Goddess of the Earth and Creation, Aodh God of Fire and War, Temu God of Water and Ruler of the Seas, Cebrail God of the Wind and Messenger of Spring, Leto Goddess of Death and Darkness, and Khrysos God of Light and the King of the Gods.

Each of the four minor Gods rules over one of the Cardinal points, so in the northern regions of the world, which is where I live, the god Temu is worshipped.

But the two gods of darkness and light don’t have a general place assigned to them and are universally worshipped, especially the King of the Gods, Khrysos, and in the case of the Goddess of Death Leto, universally feared.

After honoring each god individually on each day of this week, the last day is where the people pay tribute and commemorate what is considered to be the most important event in history.

The day all of humanity was gifted with magic.

Something peculiar happened in the years after the War. Slowly people started showing magical capabilities which was very unusual, considering that before the War the only humans who were capable of any magic at all where the direct descendants from the Gods. This caused many to believe that the Gods did not abandon humans at all, but instead decided to bestow upon them something very special. That is, somehow without being biologically related to them, they managed to gift humanity with magic. Many believe this is the reason why they disappeared and this is what people celebrate today all around the world of Eorbe.

The Great Sacrifice of the Gods.

Our people call it Hyggsdag.

For me it’s just another day to get through.

Through the cracks between the blinds of my window the light of the exploding fireworks still manages to find their way into my world where it periodically illuminates the entire room in a myriad of colours.

Almost as if someone, in slow motion, is flicking the light switch of the world on and off.

I put my Magitek Device down and lay it next to me. Then I pull the covers over my head and curl up unto my side facing the wall.

The last couple of years of my life I have no consciousness memory of. Everything is just.. immersed in this sea of grey meaningless particles. In the past I often wondered if the reason for this state was that maybe I was keeping myself trapped with those unrealistic desires of mine. So I tried to get rid of them and live life just like anybody else. For awhile it seemed to go well. I even went to a public school and made friends for the first time, but then… everything crashed down.

Have you ever seen a dead tree?

On the outside it just looks just like any other normal tree, but on the inside it is already rotting, slowly decaying and being eaten away. There’s nothing left to support it so one firm shove can send it completely crashing down.

I feel like that is exactly what happened to me.

In the blink of an eye my entire life had collapsed like a house of cards.

I am no stranger to this.

I have experienced it before with the death of my mother.

When grandpa suddenly fell ill.

But this time it was different.

This time I couldn’t get up.

The thing is I think I have already died. I am already dead.

I am just slowly rotting away, like that dead tree… just waiting for this all to be over.

However, I don’t even know when that will happen for I have no capability to make myself disappear.

So here I am, doomed to endure this excruciating way of existing.

Before I at least used to feel someway towards this state, but these days I don’t feel anything towards anything anymore. If it is me that is broken or if the world that is broken, or if this is the way humans are supposed to be I just can’t seem to care anymore. I can’t even care about the fact that I don’t care.

Right now I am just mindlessly going through the motions of daily life… just trapped in this seemingly endless moment of pure nothingness where I am unable to look forward or backward.

The truth is that I have absolutely nothing to live for.

Nothing to wake up for.

“I can’t believe this, this is- folks we are witnessing history here tonight. History I tell you! Number 23 of the..”

Outside, as the whole world starts to explode into thousand fold celebration, I close my eyes and let myself sink down into the depths of the vast and dark ocean that draws its breath within the walls of my being.

Its pull is getting stronger and stronger with each passing day.

I used to be afraid of it.

Now I am more afraid about the fact that its vast embrace is starting to feel more like home than my actual home ever did.

That I feel more like drowning when I am wide awake and breathing.

I wonder if this is the same pull that those ancient gods felt so long ago.

What kind of creature can keep a god awake at night?

Or more importantly…

What could make a god decide to never want to wake up again?

I think I know. For it is the same one that has been visiting me. Calling me.

Maybe they did not disappear from the world because they forsakened humanity, or because they missed their lost sister.

Maybe they simple chose to finally answer that call from the depths of their own inner seas.

Maybe that’s why they sank into a deep slumber, an eternal sleep.

Not because they got tired from all the fighting.

No.

Because they got tired from all the living.

“it’s decided people! It’s officially over! I can’t believe I am about to say this but –“

I wonder what it would be like….to fall into an eternal slumber.

After all…life isn’t all that great when you have nothing to life for.

“…THE WINNER OF THE 36TH GRAVBALL WORLD CUP…”

Ah, I really hope that this time I will dream a dream…

…that will last..

” …ARE THE RAPUN SEA CATS!!”

…forever.