After tossing and turning most of the night, unable to sleep properly because the bed wasn’t built with angels in mind, I was at least thankful that my lack of sleep meant no nightmares. Twisting to glance at the alarm clock on the bedside cabinet, I winced at the tight muscles in my wings that pulled due to the awkward sleeping positions I found myself in. Almost 6am. Groaning, I decided I might as well get started on the day, and headed towards the shower in an attempt to wake myself up.

As I stood under the water, I thought back to last night with Alexander. I wouldn’t lie, him telling me he didn’t think I was broken meant a lot considering everyone else acted on eggshells around me half the time. But, I still don’t know whether I could accept him as he clearly wanted me to. I craved human contact that I once had, and a small part of me believed I could find that again with Alexander. The largest part of me though, still whispered what ifs in my mind, and I honestly didn’t know if I was strong enough to stop those thoughts.

Realising I was just wasting water at this point with all my mental back and forth, I quickly left the shower and got dressed. My hands landed on a vest top that I typically used for training before my abduction, but despite being quite supportive around the chest, it was still revealing enough across my collarbones and upper back that you would be able to see my scars. I stood there staring at it, making a decision, dressing and leaving the room before I could change my mind. Padding down the hallway, I paused outside my brother’s room and knocking gently.

The door open as soon as I finished knocking to reveal all three of them, dressed in training gear like me. On an impulse, I leapt towards them and hugged them each quickly. They all looked shocked at my voluntary contact but quickly reschooled their faces.

“Ready?” I asked.

They all nodded and we walked down the hallway in silence, enjoying the lack of people milling around unlike yesterday evening. However, after 20 minutes to trying to find either a training room or a door to the outside and failing at both, we all gave up and ending up sitting on the floor in one of the hallways we went down.

“So, I have something to tell you guys.” I knew I had to tell them, the four of us never kept any secrets from each other.

“You are Alexander’s mate and therefore, he is likely your Heart.” Hawk stated.

I didn’t know how he knew that, and by the looks of it neither did Clay or Flint. I sat there blinking at him for a few seconds before he continued.

“It was obvious.” As always, Hawk’s expression was completely blank.

“If you say so.” Clay shook his head before turning back to me, “He telling the truth?”

“Of course I am.” Hawk injected, with annoyance that his knowledge was being questioned, it was one of the few times he let his emotions show.

Sighing, I tried to gain control of the situation before they ending up fighting in the hallway.

“Yes, he’s telling the truth. At least, Alexander said I was his mate. I haven’t accepted or anything.” I shook my head, “That’s what I want to talk to you guys about.”

“Shifter’s predestined mates are meant to compliment each other and provide the shifter’s with their best chance of happiness. Why didn’t you accept?”

“It isn’t that easy Hawk, this isn’t an algorithm to be solved, everyone has free will.” Flint’s soft voice gently admonished Hawk’s assumption.

I closed my eyes and sighed. How could I put everything I felt this morning into words that they would understand? I tried to explain my confusion and worry about being Alexander’s mate as best as I could, hesitating ever so slightly before saying my biggest worry out loud.

“You’re hesitating. So, this must be the main reason you are worried.” As always, Hawk was quick to pick up on the changes in my behaviour.

“Could you say he still would have wanted me, with all my physical and mental scars, even if I wasn’t his mate?” I phrased the question quietly but I knew they heard me. The responding silence was all the answer I needed.

“Come on. Let’s try and find somewhere to train again.” And stop thinking about my seemingly hopeless situation. Because, I refused to be tied to someone who didn’t choose me for me and only because Fate told them to. Which, I knew, was slightly hypocritical given that he might be my Heart but I couldn’t help the feeling. I doubt that I would have been this insecure had my abduction not taken place.