The remaining fears I had about Noah taking off dissipated the instant I saw his expression. He’s not going anywhere, which means that I can head home, if I want to.

But I’m dying to know what happened, and I already waited all night, anyways. I figure it’s harmless for me to hang out in the kitchen for a bit, see if anyone comes downstairs in a sharing mood.

I busy myself with making a pot of coffee, then watch it fill up, stretching my arms over my head. My back is a little sore from sleeping on the couch, but at least I wasn’t cold. Actually - do I remember flinging off a blanket when I rushed upstairs? In my panic, I hadn’t even noticed. Did someone put it on me while I was asleep?

I think I’ll pop into the living room and check the couch, see if I imagined it.

I turn to face the door, and find Noah standing there, watching me with cool grey eyes.

“Oh-” I press a hand to my chest, then break into a huge grin. “Noah!”

“Shh, dude,” he says, glancing over his shoulder, and I know that he doesn’t go in much for hugs, but just this one time, I don’t care.

I fly across the kitchen, sweep him into a quick, tight hug, and let him go again. Noah is startled, and he doesn’t hug me back. But he doesn’t look mad, either. He leans his shoulder against the kitchen doorway and crosses his arms over his chest, faintly amused.

“What are you-?”

“Sorry,” I say hastily, beaming at him. “I’m excited for you! I mean, you had the talk! And it went well, right? Obviously.”

Even if I hadn’t gone tearing into Raj and Melanie’s bedroom this morning, I would know just from looking at Noah. He seems so - peaceful, I guess? The tension that was hanging over him has disappeared completely. His eyes are calm and bright, and while he’s trying not to let his smile take over his face, he can only do so much to stop it.

Even with his bedhead, his rumpled clothes leftover from yesterday, and the way he’s rolling his eyes like I’m being stupid - he looks the happiest I’ve ever seen him.

“Yeah, it went okay,” he says, and I make a very undignified noise, poking his arm, then slapping it, then bouncing on my toes. “Stop it, dude,” Noah laughs, breaking a little. “Can you please-?”

“No, I absolutely can’t, are you kidding me? I sat down here waiting for hours, I’ve finally got the verdict, and I’m gonna fucking celebrate, I don’t care.”

“Yeah, sorry about that.” Noah pulls the elastic out of his bun, letting his hair tumble down. “The talk went longer than anticipated. I came down here to tell you to stay over, at one point. But you were already asleep.”

So I didn’t dream those footsteps, after all.

“Thanks for the blanket,” I say, and Noah shrugs.

“You didn’t have to camp on the couch, man. You could have taken my room.”

“I assumed that you would be sleeping in your room, Noah, and I didn’t particularly feel like snuggling with you. No offense.”

“That’s good, because I don’t particularly feel like getting murdered by Aiden.”

“Well, that’s why I took the couch.” My gigantic smile grows even wider. “At the time I didn’t realize that you were all cozy in bed with Raj and Mel.”

“Stop with that face, bro,” Noah groans, tipping his head back to shake his hair out. “I didn’t mean to sleep there, it was an accident. We fell asleep talking.”

“And?” I ask, poking his arm again. “How are you feeling?”

“I…” Noah rubs his arm, lingering disbelief in his eyes. “It’s like I’ve been living in two different realities. Like there’s - this, and then there’s before this, and I don’t understand how they can possibly go together. Feels like only one of them can be the truth. I keep thinking that this can’t be the real one. It’s what could have happened, if I hadn’t fucked everything up for so long.” He pauses, then glances over his shoulder, at the stairs. “Feels like - like I made this all up.”

I thought that Noah might have some trouble seeing beyond the painful pattern of bruises of his past. And he is, but he’s handling it better than I expected. He came downstairs last night, alone, to find me asleep. It was an easy opportunity to run. He chose not to take it.

I bite back my smile. I want to hug him again, and it’s really hard not to. My hands are twitching at my sides.

It strikes me that Noah runs because it gives him a sense of control over what’s happening to him. But this time, even knowing that he can’t control for everything, he’s taking the risk. He’s going for what he really wants. For once, he’s allowing himself to step fully into it, instead of forcing himself to fall back.

Despite every instinct telling him to go, he didn’t fold under the pressure.

This is the real face of his bravery, and it was never beyond him. Like all growing things, he just needed some help.

“Well, you didn’t make it all up,” I answer. “This is definitely happening. Did you tell them both how you feel?”

“I… yeah, I tried.” Noah cringes, toying with his lip piercing. “It’s fucking difficult, talking about that shit.”

“Dude, do you not remember the meltdown I had when I wanted to tell Aiden that I love him? I know that it’s difficult.”

Noah lets out a quiet laugh. He moves past me, opens a cabinet, and finds some mugs. I pad back to the coffeemaker and retrieve the pot.

I offer it to Noah, but he’s distracted, and he barely seems to notice it, so I fill up his mug for him.

“I’m not sure that we’ve got everything figured out yet,” he says slowly, his grey eyes distant. “Raj said that there are some things we just need to feel out along the way.”

“Yeah, he’s probably right about that.” I fold my hands around my mug and take a sip. The heat of the fresh coffee seeps through the ceramic, warming my fingers. “I have to assume things are a little different, dating two people at once.”

“Jesus.” Noah stops with his coffee halfway to his mouth. “Is that-? Yeah, I guess... I guess that is my situation.” He shakes his head, a dazed look in his eyes. “I - haven’t totally…”

“I get it,” I say quickly. “It’s a lot to wrap your head around. But at least you don’t have to hide your feelings anymore. That must feel good, right?”

Noah suddenly breaks into a wide grin.

“A lot of things about this feel good,” he says, and I laugh. Noah runs a thoughtful hand over his face, still smiling. “I can’t fucking believe it, though. Seriously, I must have imagined this. Raj or Mel is gonna come down those stairs any second, and I’ll realize that I made the whole thing-”

The sound of light, swift footsteps on the stairs interrupts him. We both turn just as Melanie appears in the doorway. She draws up short, sending her braid tumbling over her shoulder.

The moment she sees Noah, she lets out a huge, shaky breath. His lips turn up in a tentative smile, which Mel returns.

“Noah!” She crosses to him and curls her fingers around his arm. He looks down at her, his eyebrows lifting in surprise. “You’re still here!”

“Yeah, I’m here.” Noah shifts his arm very slightly, like he’s ready to shake Mel’s hand off. But he pushes back against the urge, and holds still. “Jamie's here, too. Slept on the couch.”

Melanie twists to look at me, pressing her fingers over her mouth.

“Oh my god, Jamie, I’m so sorry! We were so exhausted, we all just passed out!”

“It’s alright!” I say quickly. “Don’t worry about it, honestly.” Something that’s been nagging at me springs to mind, and I add: “By the way, Mel, Noah set me straight about that supposed date you went on with Ralph. I hear that it never actually happened.”

Melanie looks again at Noah, warm affection glimmering in her eyes.

“Thank you,” she murmurs, giving his arm a squeeze. “I hate that everyone thinks I did that.”

Noah seems to be having trouble forming words with Melanie looking at him the way she is, so I jump in again.

“I don’t know why I bought it in the first place. It doesn’t sound like something you would do, even if you were raw from the breakup with Aiden.”

“Yeah, no.” Melanie shudders at the memory. “That was the easiest it’s ever been for me to turn someone down. Ralph asked me out and told me I’d look prettier if I changed how I do my hair, basically in the same breath.”

The dark expression that rises on Noah’s face tells me that he didn’t already have that piece of information.

He’s been keeping his hands to himself, but now, slowly, haltingly, he moves. He wraps his fingers around Mel’s braid and gives it a playful tug.

“I’m glad you didn’t listen to that bullshit,” he says, and she smiles.

She cuddles up against his side, twines her arms around his torso, and gives him a tight hug.

“I’m glad you didn’t leave,” she whispers, so softly that I barely catch it.

Noah looks a little unsure of himself, but he releases her braid and rests a hand on her back.

They’re not used to each other yet, not like this.

“I should go tell Raj,” Melanie says. “We were both just a tiny bit worried about y-”

Before she can finish, Raj races into the kitchen, his brown eyes wide.

“He’s not in his room!” he says frantically. “Did you find-?”

His gaze lands on Noah and Mel, and he stops mid-sentence.

Noah - who is apparently still on autopilot - instantly lets go of Melanie, looking guilty and terrified.

“Noah!” Raj slumps against the doorframe, pressing a shaking hand to his chest. “Oh, shit, dude, I really thought-!”

Without warning, he rushes forward. Melanie springs out of the way just before Raj charges directly into Noah, flinging his arms around him. Noah lets out an oof of surprise, the force of Raj’s momentum knocking him backwards. He loses his footing, and they both go crashing to the floor.

“Dude!” Noah laughs, suddenly flat on his back. “Jesus Christ! I thought - I thought you were mad.”

Raj rolls onto his back next to Noah. He tips his head to the side and points to his own face.

“Do I look mad?”

Noah bites the inside of his cheek, smiling as he takes in Raj’s expression. “No, but you have resting happy face. We talked about this.”

“Oh, man,” Raj says, staring up at the ceiling. “Oh, thank fucking - Mel, where are you, babe? Come here.”

“To the floor?” Melanie makes a skeptical face, then gasps when Raj grabs her hand and yanks her down. She lands half across him and half across Noah, bursting into startled laughter. “Raj!”

Raj sits up and drags both of them into a tangled, disorganized hug.

“My family,” he says, relief making his shoulders droop. He pops a kiss onto the top of Noah’s head, then one onto Melanie’s mouth. “We’re all here? Everyone accounted for?”

“Get off of me, dipshit,” Noah laughs, trying to free himself. Raj only pulls him in closer, and Melanie seizes Noah’s wrist, holding him in place.

“Don’t get off of him,” she tells Raj, giggling.

“No, of course not.”

“Oh, I guess it’s not enough that I was tackled to the fucking ground!” Noah tries his best to scowl at Raj, with minimal success. “You could’ve cracked my skull open, dude.”

“Cool, then maybe we’d finally figure out what the hell is going on in there,” Raj says, poking Noah’s forehead. Noah gives his shoulder a shove, and Raj laughs. “Besides, you could have stabbed me with a piercing.”

“Yeah, but that would still be your fault for knocking me over, not my fault for failing to predict this situation when I pierced my eyebrow seven fucking years ago!”

“Okay, enough, dummies! I need to shower.” Melanie gets up, smoothing out the folds of her dress, then watches with fond exasperation as Raj shoves Noah back. “I have a feeling that we’re not going to make it to the exhibition space on time if someone doesn’t get us going.”

Raj gets to his feet and offers Noah a hand. Noah slaps his palm into it, and Raj gives his arm a tug. Melanie waits until they’re both upright, then leans up to brush a kiss onto Raj’s mouth. He bends to make it easier for her.

Melanie turns to leave, but stops, her eyes lingering on Noah. He’s brushing off his palms, not paying attention.

She nibbles her lip, steps closer to Noah, and takes his face in her hands. He looks up sharply, then freezes as Melanie tips forward to gently plant a kiss on his tattooed cheek.

She lets him go, a faint pink blush in her cheeks, and quickly leaves the kitchen.

Raj watches her, smiling warmly, then turns to Noah.

“She’s right, we should get moving,” he says. “I’m gonna go hop in the shower with her.”

Noah is still recovering, and it takes him several seconds to process what Raj said.

He hesitates, then answers, in a joking voice: “Aw. No fair.”

“Oh, good point.” Raj taps a thoughtful finger on his chin. “I guess - you can shower with her tomorrow, if she’s down? Should we come up with a schedule?”

“Wh-? A schedule?” Noah lets out a startled laugh, his cheeks turning crimson. “Dude, I was totally kidding, I didn’t really mean-”

“Yeah, actually, not a schedule,” Raj agrees. “If anything, Melanie should just decide who she wants with her on - like - a shower-by-shower basis, right?”

Noah looks sort of dazed, and all he can do is laugh.

“Well, that’s gonna be rough on you, bro,” he says. “Hate to break it to you, but she’s always gonna choose me.”

Raj draws back in surprise, then bursts out laughing, too.

“Fuck you, man!” he answers, smacking Noah’s arm. “You’re delusional if you honestly think-”

He cuts himself off as Melanie pokes her head back into the kitchen.

“Neither of you are showering with me,” she says firmly. “I’m listening to a podcast about linguistics that Dahlia recommended, and I’m a few episodes behind. I don’t want either of you two distracting me. Try again when I’m caught up.”

She tosses her braid over her shoulder and disappears. Raj and Noah exchange a glance.

“Well, that’s that on that,” Noah mutters. “We both lost. To a linguistics podcast. Is this a new low point in our lives?”

“Hardly,” Raj says, grinning. “I’d call today a high point, personally.”

Noah tilts his head to the side, his irises tinted to a bright, silvery color.

For a brief, silent moment, Noah and Raj just look at each other, sharing an intimate smile. Then Noah turns quickly away, clearing his throat.

“Um - are you coming to the exhibition space with us, Jamie?” he asks.

I’ve been watching them without saying anything. I’m smiling to myself, relaxing on the outskirts of their happiness. It feels like some heavy glass wall has been brought down between Raj and Noah, taking with it all the tension and uncertainty that had kept them apart.

Even if the three of them still have some things to figure out, I have a very good feeling about this. And their joy is infectious, all-encompassing.

So it actually takes me a second to realize that Noah is talking to me.

Blinking, I set down my coffee. “Sorry, what?”

“Are you coming to the exhibition space today?” he says again.

“Oh. Oh! Yep, I’ll be there.” I straighten up, yawning. “Gotta go home and shower, obviously. All by myself, just like you two losers.”

“Wow, Jamie.” Noah makes a pained face, putting a hand to his chest. “That wounds me.”

I only stick my tongue out at him. I know that wounded is not the word to describe Noah, not at the moment.

In fact, looking at the way he’s smiling, I’d say that right now, nothing could touch him.