Three years.
Andrew could barely comprehend that number. He had been the one to ask, so he put on a strong face, but he was beginning to realize that there might have been a reason why they had been keeping this from him. It was hard news to take, and he was still weak and exhausted from what had been a harsh. Everything that Abigail had described seemed to be falling into place, and even Cassandra engagement made sense now. It had been years. Of course his fiancé and the rest of the world had moved on. What else could he have expected from them?
The sting of betrayal had hurt, but it could never have compared to the awful loneliness that filled him now. No one was at fault here, no one had turned themselves into his enemy. The world had just gone on spinning without him, just as it should have, and in the process it had managed to strip away the things that he cared about. There was no one to be angry at, which meant that all Andrew could really be anymore was sad.
"You look sad," Abigail said, and the implication of her words was clear-- Andrew never looked sad. He rarely showed his emotions on his face, not in the same way that Abigail always had if he looked sad, then he must be close to breaking, and that was exactly how he felt.
"Is she happy?" he asked, looking up at Abigail. He thought he might cry, but the tears weren't there yet.
"I..." Abigail looked like she wanted nothing more in the world than to tell him yes, to tell him that of course Cassandra was happy, that he didn't need to worry about her, and that his sacrifice had at least let her have a good life. Instead, she just kind of shrugged helplessly. "I don't know. We don't talk much."
Andrew didn't know what to do with that, didn't know how he could stay positive like he had promised. When Abigail had told him that Cassandra was engaged, he hadn't really been able to believe her, and even before that when he had worried she might be dead, there had always been part of him that refused to consider it as a real possibility. Now that he knew he had been gone for three years, he didn't have that disbelief to take the edge off the most painful facts. he could believe any horrible thing he was told, because in three years, the world must have changed and the people in it must have done the same. His chest felt tight as he realized just how much time he had lost and how much else he must have lost along the way.
"There's good news too!" Abigail said, somewhat desperately. "Vlad and I were trying to get pregnant, remember? Well we have a kid now, a wonderful little boy. Vlad is already trying to get him on skates-- the poor thing can barely walk."
Andrew couldn't help but be mused by the image, but it brought with it the realization of all the moments he had missed with Abigail as well. They had been best friends before, and he would have been around when her baby was young. Abigail would have told him about all the silly things Vlad said along the way, and they might even have let the baby call him Uncle Andrew. He had missed all of that, and even though it wasn't his own kid, he felt robbed.
"He sounds amazing," Andrew said.
"He is amazing," Abigail said. "And he's going to love you when he meets you. I've wanted to introduce the two of you since he was born."
She shouldn't have had to wait. If Andrew had been a better friend, she wouldn't have had to.
"Your apartment really does look better," she added. "It's going to be a great place for you as soon as you're out of here, which should be soon."
"Right," he said with a single nod. Somehow, interior decorating wasn't much of a comfort.
"I know it's not a lot," Abigail said, shaking her head. "Not compared to everything you've lost. I understand that, but I'm still really just happy right now. You're here. You're awake. I couldn't count on any of that as recently as yesterday."
Andrew was glad that his waking up had made her life so much better because he wasn't all that convince that it had made his life better at all.
Comments (0)
See all