I successfully avoid Benjamin until Friday. I seriously don’t understand what kind of freakish obsession this kid has with me. Why can’t he take a hint?
“Hey, Leo.” He says as if we’re friends.
I grunt at him, he does not leave.
“I just wanted to say I like your shirt.” What the hell? He hunted me down for that? What a dick. I look at my shirt, it’s an old Korn shirt I got at my first concert. I guess I have to respect that.
“Thanks.” I say in as uninviting a voice I can muster.
“Do you mind if I sit here?” I shrug. I can’t just say no, it’s not like anybody else is going to sit there. “So. . . you like Korn?”
“Yep.”
“Ever been to a concert?”
“Yep.”
“Where at?”
“Reno.”
“Oh, that’s awesome. I saw them in Fresno a few years ago.”
“Cool.” I don’t care. Leave me alone, you little ingrate.
“Was it you first concert?”
“Yep.”
“You don’t talk much, do you?”
I glare at him. He laughs and I want to strangle him or hit him. But I would never do it, I’m too much of a pussy to get into a real fight. Not that I’m afraid of tiny Benjamin.
He lets me eat in silence and focuses on his food. I stand in my usual spot five minutes before lunch ends and, to my utter relief, he does not follow me. In Mr. Stewart’s class we are correcting our assignment. When he asks if there are any questions he looks very pointedly at me. I’m probably the smartest kid in this entire fucking class. I don’t need his help.
Turns out I missed eight out of twenty-five questions. So, I may need some help but certainly not his. And I still probably got the best grade in the class.
When I get home I tell Mom I’m going to spend the night in the desert. I grab some peanut butter and jelly, some bread, a bag of carrots because Mom seems to think I’ll actually eat them. I also throw a pillow and blanket into my truck before putting some dog food in an old Tupperware container and calling Alton.
There are no backseats in my truck. The back, back seat is upside down in the garage and the middle seats are folded to create more room. I like it better without them, it gives me a bit more space in the bed for when I stay overnight. I generally sleep back there with Alton but in the summer I sleep on the roof. I can see all the stars that way.
I drive into the desert with Alton panting at my side, the windows are wide open and a welcome breeze blows through the blistering interior of my vehicle. The only downside to my lifted 1991 Suburban is the lack of air conditioning or a decent heater. I don’t mind though; wind provides a decent enough cooler and I can always just bundle up in the winter.
I don’t drive to my typical spot. The canyon is a great for relaxing during the day but at night the best place to see the stars is a few miles away at the top of a hill. It’s kind of a difficult drive, there are some good size boulders in the road, slants that are only really scary if it’s wet and a lot of steep washes to get stuck in.
I have never been stuck before. My dad has been taking me on these roads since I was a baby and I know every rock and valley by heart. I could drive these roads with my eyes closed. I climb to the top of a mountain that’s great for sledding in the winter. Standing up here it feels like I can see the whole desert. The wind whips my face and rattles the branches of the old juniper trees and the cottonwoods in the distance.
I walk down the mountain and onto the dried out riverbed, all the moss is dehydrated and crispy and it crunches under my feet. In the spring water flows out of the small pond that’s not too far from here, it isn’t a super long walk but I’m not in the mood today. Instead, I hike back up the mountain where Alton brings me a stick and I throw it down the mountain a few times for him.
Then he finds a rabbit and it consumes all of his attention. He doesn’t stand a chance, of course. He isn’t very fast but he seems to enjoy the chase. I let him get his energy out and sit on a rock to wait. The sun is setting, turning the sky all kinds of purples and pinks and oranges. I call him back and he races up the hill. In the truck, I give him half the food I brought, then make myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I eat a couple of carrots too but I give most of them to Alton.
By the time we’re done eating the sun has fully set beyond the horizon but I like to wait a little while to get the full effect of the starry night. I lean my chair back and pop in one of my Three Days Grace CDs. I listen to almost the whole album before getting out with my blanket and pillow. I lock Alton in the truck so he doesn’t hurt himself trying to get on the roof with me.
I hop onto the hood of my Chevy and carefully climb over my windshield onto the roof. Probably not the best way to get up there but it works and I haven’t cracked the window yet.
The view is always breath-taking. I can’t believe it’s real sometimes, the sky turns to a foggy, splotchy blue behind hundreds of trillions of stars, it feels so infinite. I lay on my blanket in jean shorts and a t-shirt to star gaze. The moon is a little over halfway through its cycle, and it seems so small with all the stars brightening up the sky.
People never appreciate the beauty of the desert sky, even the people who live here don’t have the same admiration for it I do. You can see everything when it’s clear, the Milky Way is a mass of fogginess, the moon striking even against the stars, and the world is lit up. It isn’t even dark, I can see every detail in the light of the stars.
I fall asleep to the sounds of crickets and the rustling of sagebrush in the cool night breeze. I wake up a few hours later freezing. I grab my blanket and pillow and crawl into the truck with Alton. He wastes no time burying himself under my blanket, I fall back asleep pretty quickly. And I stay asleep until the sun shines through the window to blind me when I open my eyes.
I open the back doors and Alton leaps out to find an appropriate place to go to the bathroom. I get out and stretch, then go sit on a rock. I don’t know what it is but I love sitting on rocks. There’s just something about vaguely comfortable rocks that make them so much better for sitting than actual chairs. Maybe it’s the way I can feel the coolness or the heat of the rock through my pants, or the way I can pick at the sagebrush from down here and smell its sweet scent on my hands and clothes. Or the way I can watch spiders and ants crawl around and live their lives in the dirt.
I don’t know, there’s just something peaceful about it.
I sit until my bladder feels like it might burst. I relieve myself and take a walk, better to do so in the morning before it gets too hot. I pack a couple of waters and Alton’s bowl. I start walking in the direction of the pond and whistle. Alton bounds up the hill, he runs past and turns on a dime to jump on me and try to give me kisses.
Unfortunately, he’s a good foot shorter than me on his hind legs and he keeps jumping to get at my face, his front paws on my shoulders as leverage.
“Alton! Alton down!” I yell at him and try to push him off me to no avail. He has me on the floor in seconds and I’m defenseless to his kisses. I lay flat on my back to let him lick my face and I scratch behind his ears. I push him off when he calms down and we continue our walk. He heels at my side, occasionally perking his ears up at trees or rabbits or lizards but he stays put.
This is not something I trained him to do, I think he must have some German Shepherd or border collie or something in him that makes him especially loyal and intelligent. Something finally drags his attention away and he dashes off. I take the opportunity to hunt down a horned toad and catch it. I let it crawl on my shoulders and tangle itself into my hair before pulling it out and setting it free.
I see a few horses wandering through the desert, one is a dark brown color with a black mane, a little tan foal follows it. A muscular tan and black horse keeps a watchful eye on me. I hope Alton doesn’t come back now and disturb them. I keep walking, Alton catches up and is back by my side until we reach the pond.
I plop myself down under a tree, and pull out a water bottle, Alton jumps into the pond. I throw a stick in the water for him a few times, he loves to swim, uses his long, flowing tail as a propeller. Eventually he takes the stick and lays down in the mud.
We stay there for a little while longer and, when I get up to head back, Alton follows me. It’s a long, hot, agonizing walk back. Alton is not allowed in the front seat, on account of his soaking fur and muddy paws.
When we get home, he’s still wet. All that fur holds water for hours, even in the burning Nevada heat. Mom doesn’t want him in the house so I throw a stick for him in the back yard for a few minutes before getting bored and deciding to see what he thinks about the blow drier. I lift him up and carry him into the bathroom. I gently set him in the tub so he doesn’t slip. He’s pretty calm, even when I plug in the blow drier. I turn it on and he cocks his head to the sound, when I point it at him he seems to have some kind of aneurism. He tries to leap out of the tub so I hold his collar and try to keep him still. I turn it off and grab some towels to line the bottom of the tub with so he won’t slip.
Again he panics when I turn the drier on him, the towels do not hinder his slipping. I don’t want him to hurt himself so I stop and dry him with the towels. When he’s finally dry enough and he zooms around the house a few times before coming to a sudden stop and wiping his face on the floor. I laugh, he repeats his process, I laugh harder.
I sit on the couch and, once he’s calmed down, Alton scoots next to me and rests his head on my thigh. After a few minutes Dad comes into the living room, “Hey, Leo. How was the desert?”
“Good. Alton caught a lizard.”
Dad chuckles. “Want to watch something?” He plops down next to me and turns the TV on. We eventually agree on Malcolm in the Middle, it’s a great show. My favorite after Good Eats.
It’s a rerun, the new season won’t start until next month. This one is an older episode, season two or three. To me, it has one of the most emotionally impactful lines of the entire show, especially since it isn’t necessarily an emotionally impactful show. Malcolm loses focus on his schoolwork and his grades drop because of some girl who never shows up again. He beats up some foreign kid out of jealousy and his mom yells at him. “I’m going through a lot right now, and you don’t even care!” is what he shouts at her. It always hits me and I don’t know why. It’s one of my favorite episodes despite Malcolm’s obnoxious melodrama.
Comments (3)
See all