"Do you remember anything from when you first moved in with me?

"No..."

Do I just lie to the kid? I'm not sure what to do.

"Maybe I could explain when you get older..." I didn't want to explain. It's too hard to explain.

"But I am older," he whined.

I took a deep breath. I don't even know the full story myself. I can't explain this without confusing the poor child.

"I don't know if I can say..." My voice trailed off, hoping that he would drop the topic.

"Dad... please?" The waver in his voice made me wince. I don't think I can tell him the truth.

"I really think we should talk about it another time." My voice became more firm which caused Kyle to tense up in my arms. He looked up at me with frustration and I could tell by the look in his eyes that he wasn't giving up.

"But, he's my papa."

I could feel tears prickling my eyes. It's so hard to say no to him. I wanted to make things better for Caleb now that he was a child. But... do I really know what was best for him? Telling him the truth or lying to him only led me to believe that it would be hard to deal with either way.

I look into Kyle's pleading eyes again and I sighed. I hugged him tighter, not wanting him to somehow slip out of my grasp.

"I don't know what exactly happened that day. Your papa was a really kind man. He loved to paint. He painted those puzzle pieces that morning too. That day, he went out to do something. I forgot what exactly he was going to do but he left me a note saying it might be the last time I saw him."

"Why did Papa say that?" I could feel a hot tear roll slowly down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away.

"He wasn't feeling well lots of days. Because of that, he was really sad a lot, so he left me a note. I was really worried that day."

"What happened after that?" I could tell his curiosity was at its peak.

"Well," I started. "Dad waited in the hospital for almost the full day for Papa. Then he didn't come back."

His eyebrows were scrunched together in confusion. "Why didn't he come back?"

"I don't know why he didn't come back either. But he's somewhere better now, I hope." It wasn't exactly a lie, but I seemed to have given him enough information to satisfy him.

Kyle's eyes were watering a little and I couldn't stop myself from mirroring his expression.

"Hospitals are supposed to help people, aren't they?" He balled up a section of my shirt into a fist. There wasn't just sadness in his eyes but there was fear as well. His lower lip was quivering, and I frowned at him.

Answering questions was hard. "They can help, but sometimes everything someone can do can't stop the future."

"I hope you don't end up in the hospital, dad." He hugged me again.

"No worries, I won't." I pulled away from the hug to pat his head and he swatted my hand away. "Let's go to our new home. Ready?"

He nodded. "Ready."

We gathered the last few boxes before leaving the apartment for the last time. I'll miss this place, but it was time for a change.