After finding out he didn't remember me and I stopped avoiding him so much, spending those days together, I just... don't understand what I feel or what to feel. Like before I could just say I am angry at him but now I don't know anymore. And the feelings aren't necessarily friendly either, and that right there, that's what scares me. Feeling this things for someone I'm not allowed to. So I have decided on the best course of action.

My plan was simple, avoidance, fill my time with school work, and other people. Maybe if I spent less time with or around him the feelings will disappear. If I can get that internship that would be great or maybe look for a part time job. That way it wouldn't look so obvious. I went to my laptop and applied for jobs and internships anything I could find would do. Now all I had to do was wait.

                                          

I don't know how I managed to avoid Aubrey during the weekend but I did. I bet Ethan was keeping her occupied. The thought made my chest hurt. I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind not wanting to think about them anymore. 

I pulled up in the parking lot of the collage and made my way to the library. My classes didn't start for another thirty minutes so I decided to get some books from the library. You know, anything to keep me busy. I turned the corner, my destination was a few steps away then a voice called my name. I wanted to bolt and run in the other direction but they'd just follow me and it didn't help that they knew where I lived. I took a deep breath and just forced a smile a cold sweat dripping down my spine. 

This was inevitable.

"You little shit, I come home after a long time away and you can't even come to see me. I'm upset Harry Black."  Aubrey folded her arms she narrowed her eyes at me. I looked down avoiding her gaze.

"I'm sorry, I got really busy with applications. I told you right?" She narrowed her eyes at me.

Please believe me. I thought as she studied me as if I was a book. 

"Okay cool." Thank god. "So aunty says you can't miss coming home next time or she's going to come here and drag you home herself." She said as she put her had over my shoulder. I stiffened a bit then relaxed.

"I already talked to her, mum isn't very happy I skipped, but I salvaged the situation." We started walking. I noticed she was dragging me in the opposite direction of the library. "Wait where are you taking me?" I mini panicked. I knew where we were going I just needed confirmation. My eyes widened as I anticipate another answer from the obvious judging by the direction.

"Relax dude, we're going to see my boyfriend." She smiled happily. I looked the other direction. My mouth felt dry andy heart sunk, I wasn't ready to see him this early in the morning or even today. For some reason hat word stung me to the core. It never bothered me before but it did now. I don't know why.

You know exactly why.

"What's up with you, E told me that you guys were starting to get a long. Don't tell me you still don't like him!" She frowned with concern. I swallowed hard and bit my lip trying to come up with something, anything.

Damn she noticed. Come on Harry think of something...

"It's not that I don't like him..." 

"Hey babe,"

I was cut off by her, she let go of me and hugged him. That was close. He lifted her off her feet and she giggled. The whole time his eyes were locked with mine. He gave me a smirk. I swallowed thickly, my heart raced, my face heated up and I looked down. Taking deep breaths trying to calm down.

It's not that I don't like him...it's just that I like him more than I should.

I stood there awkwardly as they kissed and she giggled. I rolled my eyes and started walking away. I know myself the more I'm here the more likely I am to say things that will get all of me in trouble. I know I'm feeling jealous and it isn't a good colour on me. I'll just sell myself out. My eyes were fixed on the floor, I knew my face betrayed me.

"Where are you going now?" Aubrey asked. I flinched. Of course she just couldn't let me slip away unnoticed.

"Bathroom." I didn't bother looking back. I walked until her giggles and chuckles faded into the background. I went to the furthest bathroom I could find. Thankfully it was empty. I sighed at my reflection. I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. 

Fuck! 

I hated this. This feeling of helplessness. This just confirmed how much I should stay away from him. It's not that I wanted to, I had to. I washed my face and went back to to the hallway. I looked at my phone and yap, I was almost getting late for class not to mention it was on the other side of campus.

When I walked in the class had already started. I moved feeling awkward and sat in the nearest seat available. I placed my laptop and books in front of me. I looked to the person I was sitting next to and relaxed a bit. We nodded at each other acknowledging each other's parents. It felt like the class was fucking dragging on. Then finally the lecturer gave some assignment and left. I clearly wasn't listening.

"Hey long time no see, where's that friend of yours?" Tyler the guy I sat with asked.

"I don't know." I shrugged. He raised an eyebrow. 

"That's very surprising I never see you anywhere without her." He chuckled exposing his perfect smile. Let's be serious here Tyler was a perfect cliché. He was tall, kind of tan blonde, eyes a perfect shade of blue they could make the sky jealous. He was rich and well built, guys and girls were always all over him. And to top it off he was cocky. Honestly I wasn't into him like that but he was perfect eye candy. But he was nice and surprisingly kind and that's why I kept our friendship going.

"Well, shit happens." I shrugged and stated putting things back in my bag and swung it over my shoulder.

"Since your alone today, wanna hung?" This was actually perfect.

"Sure." I said and we left the class. We walked to the parking lot and met some other guys and girls. We decided to crush at his place and just chill. He gave one of his friends his keys and insisted to ride with me. We split in two groups and we headed to my car. He had his arm around me talking about some funny shit some girl did to get his attention. I scanned the premises and saw E sitting on his truck I assumed he was waiting for Aubrey. 

For the first time today I looked at him, really looked at him. He was wearing a black tee which hugged him perfectly with black jeans and a black Nikes. He run his hand through his hair looking though his phone. He was smiling, that god awful smile, I swear he literally took my breath away. I looked down trying to hide my red face. We got to my car and drove off. After a few minutes my phone buzzed. 

Ethan

I knew I looked good but you checking me out confirmed it. You should have come to say hi.

My heart dropped to my stomach. He noticed. I shoved my phone in my pocket and left him on read. I couldn't handle this right now.