Friday morning, Ruben is antsy. He showers more thoroughly than usual – not that he's dirty, it's more about the idea – and he combs his hair. It doesn't have much of an effect since the natural snit of his hair is quite okay, but again, it's more care than the usual fingers. The previous evening, he had already laid out the clothes he would wear. Nothing fancy since it's still a school day – and he doesn't own any clothes that deserve to be called 'fancy'. The most he can hope for is that he doesn't look like a walking fashion disaster who doesn't realise he has outgrown his shirts and trousers, which is luckily guaranteed by his mum, who wouldn't let him leave if he did.

At school, he longs to see Thomas and talk to him, as well as not talk to him at all, because, since they confirmed their date during the weekend, everything seems even more awkward and what do you even say to someone on the day of your date, before said date? If it were their date already, it would be so much easier to just start a conversation because they would have time and not a mere five or ten minutes.

In fact, the whole week has been kind of awkward. After the more practical messages on Friday to let each other know they had their mum and dad's permission – he had told them he was going out with a friend – on Saturday, Thomas had sent him a message asking what he was doing and they had started making small talk about school and hobbies. Online, their conversation flowed with ease and Ruben tried to showcase both his wittiness and corny jokes and genuine interest in everything Thomas said and he smiled like a fool at the screen of his phone and was on cloud nine.

As soon as Monday morning came, however, he was awkward and tongue-tied again and his frustration with himself about his lack of courage knew no limits. The only thing that uplifted him a bit, was the shy smiles now shared between them each time their gazes crossed, as if they knew something nobody else did – which they technically did because their date was still a secret.

In the evenings, back online, they continued chatting as if they had never stopped and even yesterday, that didn't change.

Now, the nervous jitters are bursting out of Ruben's skin through his pores and he doesn't know where to look – why is he feeling shy about shamelessly staring now of all times – or what to do with his hands and he's fiddling with pretty much everything: his pens, his books, even a loose thread in the hem of his shirt that he really should just cut off, before he destroys his favourite T-shirt. Jonas and Nathan give him all kinds of looks, but luckily don't outrightly say anything.

During lunch break, they discuss the physics test Mrs Devos announced in third period for next week, but he only hums at the right moments to keep up the pretence of listening and engaging in the conversation, while otherwise, he would enthusiastically join them in their complaints, but for now, he really can't care less, because he's consumed by thoughts of Thomas and their upcoming date.

And then finally, finally the last bell rings – and all the feelings and the situation create a sort of déjà-vu of last week. Ruben times his packing, so he's ready when Thomas is. He's a bit too fast, but that doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things – there is not really a scheme, but as long as he gets his date with Thomas, and preferably more than one, it's not important that his timing isn't perfect.

"Hey." His gaze glides over Thomas's face.

"Hey." Thomas peeks up from under his eyebrows. His eyes are caramel-coloured.

"Are you ready?" Ruben doesn't stumble over his words and he's quite proud of that feat.

"Yeah. Uhm ... Sorry you had to wait."

"No problem. Uhm ... Let's go." Ruben starts walking and Thomas follows. He tries to think of something to say, but his mind is blank. Why do characters in books always know what to say? It should be easier since they're both boys and probably have common interests and they are in the same class, but that's bullshit and even if he knew what to say, his shyness would be troubling him for sure – not that the words are there right now and just halting on the tip of his tongue, no, there just aren't any.

Come on, Ruben, think, think, think, he chants in his head, but unfortunately, he can't coax his mind to think of anything other than 'hey' and 'how are you' and how lame is that! Who asks 'how are you' on their first date, when they've hardly spoken with each other before? Though, maybe Thomas doesn't think it's so lame; it is something to say, after all. At least, if he asks that, he won't be the one expected to talk anymore and he will seem polite and not like an idiot who can't even hold a conversation and how will he ever get Thomas to go on a second date if he doesn't say anything and Thomas is bored out of his mind and thinks him to be socially inept?

"How are you?" Shit, why did he say that? See – it sounds lame, he should have known.

"I'm fine. Uhm ... The physics test kind of sucks, though."

Finally! Ruben latches onto the possible subject like he's starved – and he is, but for something to talk about rather than food. "Yeah, I know. Like – we have a test for maths and French too that day and it's about all the stuff since the beginning of the year."

"Yes, and I have to go to the orthodontist after school on Thursday, so I will have less time and my teeth will hurt and I can't study ahead on Wednesday, because then I have my saxophone lesson and band practice."

Ruben can't respond because they have to separate to take out their bikes, but he's pretty much ecstatic because they're talking – and not just online, but face to face, real-life talking, and he's getting to know Thomas and even though they haven't said much yet, it feels like the biggest achievement of his life, except last week maybe.