Laurens was going to go home and pretend that he had danced with a bunch of girls and force his father to think that he was totally into girls. Like he always did.

Laurens looked at Hamilton again. His ponytail was perfectly centered, although a few hairs had escaped. Laurens couldn't help but smile. His own hair was like that, impossible to control. But Laurens's eyes were starting to burn slightly. He looked away.

As the lights flipped on, Eliza hugged Alexander, and then found Angelica standing against the wall. The two sisters grinned at each other, and then Eliza went over and joined Angelica. Peggy found them soon enough, and then Philip was there, too. Eliza hugged her twin brother. "This was awesome."

"Good, Lizzy," he whispered.

"Mmm. Don't call me that."

They each flashed each other the middle finger, and then Peggy flipped off both of them, and then the four of them walked out to the parking lot. Cortlandt was already at the car. The rest of their siblings either hadn't come or had gone home early.

"That was pretty great." Eliza said, smiling.

"Speak for yourself," groaned Peggy. "That music."

"Be nice!" Angelica barked. "Your sister had a good time!"

"I'm with Peggy," Philip said. "It's the same shit that King has playing in his office all the time."

"Swear jar," said Cortlandt.

"How do you know so much about King's office, anyway?" Angelica asked.

Laurens was going home with Mulligan, and Hamilton was going home with Lafayette, but the four of them walked outside together and started the three-block walk to their cars.

"So. You and Debbie," Lafayette prompted.

"Shut up," Mulligan replied.

"I'm French, mon ami. I know love when I—"

"Shut up!" all three of them said, mostly joking. Lafayette flashed them a grin.

"But what about you two? Did anything?"

"Shut up." Laurens grumbled.

Lafayette raised an eyebrow at him.

They got to Mulligan's car first, and Mulligan gave Lafayette and Hamilton a crushing hug. Laurens settled for giving them each a side-hug, the awkward kind that he always associated with 'no homo, bro.'

Ha.

Mulligan and Laurens slid into the car. "Are you okay?" Mulligan asked him when they were driving.

The lights of the Laurens home were still several miles away. "I'm fine."

Her siblings were all talking and arguing, but Eliza had her face pressed to the window. The lights of the city were fading behind them as they drove back to the mansion that they lived in. Eliza hated it when the lights faded. That was her favorite thing about New York City. The endless lights.

What am I going to do? she wondered. It wasn't like she was Cortlandt or Cornelia, who were both gay, or the rest of her siblings other than Angelica, where were all bi or pan. Or even like Rensselaer, her brother who was already in college and was hetero/pan and happily dating a girl. She knew that her father at least pretended not to care about Cornelia and Esther, but that was because at least his non-straight children would eventually marry, probably to prominent people who would help his standing in life. That sounds bad, though. Eliza's father wasn't a selfish person. Just...focused on his business.

But Eliza didn't want to ever get married to anyone. She wanted to be alone. Not in that she was an introvert, but that she had no interest in anyone.

It made her feel like such a freak.

"I can walk home," Laurens said when they reached Mulligan's house. He was less than a mile away from here. Hell, he should have just driven himself there and back.

"You're crazy. You wanna get mugged or something?"

"We live in Yonkers."

"Let me drive you, John."

Mulligan barely ever used first names. Laurens looked at his friend, trying to find any worry in his face. Okay, so maybe he was acting off, but he wasn't going to hurt himself or anything. "Fine," Laurens sighed, not wanting to argue.

"Are you actually going to be okay, Laurens? Do you want to stay the night, or something?"

"One. Yes, I am okay. Two. Do you think my dad's gonna like that?"

"Stay safe, Laurens."

"I am safe, Mulligan." Laurens stared forward, outside of the windshield, where the lights of his family's mansion were coming into focus. "We live in Yonkers, after all."

Watching the houses stream past as she and he siblings drove home, Eliza debated coming out. All her siblings were pretty much out, and it was assumed by the whole family that Eliza and Angelica were the only straight ones.

And Eliza was straight, she supposed. Just aro/ace. So there really wasn't much to come out as, especially since her family was already so accepting. But being aro/ace was so much different from being gay, or bi, or pan. Because all of those people still love and marry and have sex and all the other couple-y things.

Eliza was a freak. She knew she was. She had to be. And anyway, everyone was assuming she would get together with Alex. Maybe she should just do that. Forget everything she told him, she should just date him for high school and college. Marry him, love him, start a family with him. He clearly liked her, maybe she should just be the person everyone thought she was.

But she didn't want to. God, she didn't want to. She wanted to be friends with Alex, not date him. But what if her family didn't accept who she was? There wasn't much exposure to aro/ace in Yonkers.

But then she thought of Alex, his supportive smile and hopeful eyes. She knew he would be there for her no matter what. Even though she had only known him for a few days, she wanted to know him for the rest of her life.

Emboldened by that, Eliza knew what she would do. She would come out to her family.

With that resolved, Eliza looked out the window with a smile, watching the lights fly by.

I hope you're happy, Laurens thought as he walked in the door.

He thought it to Hamilton. He hoped that Hamilton would be happy with Eliza. He certainly seemed happy with her. Smiling and spinning and all that shit. Hamilton deserved someone to do that with.

He thought it to his father. I hope that you're happy that I can't be happy. But no, that was too melodramatic. Laurens loved his father. He loved his family. It wasn't his fault that he was gay, yes. But he didn't want to ruin his relationship with everyone that he loved just because of who he preferred romantically and sexually. Family love before romantic love, after all. Or at least, that was what everyone seemed to believe. It at least seemed logical.

I hope you're happy, he thought to himself most of all. I hope that I'm happy that I can never be happy. Because that was just it, wasn't it? He would never feel happy coming home. And even if he moved to New York City and got married to a guy and adopted sixteen kids and did whatever the fuck made him happy, his father would still be there.

Laurens wanted to be free to be who he was.

But Laurens needed his father with him as he did so.

"Dad, I'm gay."

Eliza wanted to punch herself for using the ambiguous blanket term. Her father looked up from his book. "Alright."

"No. I'm not...I'm not gay. I just...I don't like anyone. I'm asexual."

Her face was burning, and then Philip took one of her hands and Angelica took the other. Cortlandt was reading his own book, and was staring at their father. Peggy was standing as tall as she could next to them, probably trying to look supportive, but coming off as angry.

"Meaning…"

Eliza reminded herself that her father had grown up in a different time, and that they were living in a place where any non-straightness was derided by most adults. She reminded herself that her father had accepted a lot from his children. But she was so, so afraid that he wouldn't accept her. His look was confused. She tried to find any anger. She was afraid that she might throw up.

Laurens walked into the mansion, smiling at one of their workers, who was leaving for the night. He walked through the first hallway, his footsteps echoing in his ears. Ha. Maybe if he came out to his father, he could just avoid him for the next months. After all, the house was huge, and Laurens knew every inch of it. Better than his father, probably.

His pulse quickened as he imagined actually coming out to his father.

What was the worst that could happen? The potential payoff was so much more than the cost. And Laurens knew that his father loved him. Someone that loved him couldn't just stop, right? His father couldn't just stop loving him!

Could I do it? Laurens wondered.

His father was in the main room.

I'm going to do it.

"Well?"

Eliza's voice was quavering.

"Well?"

"So…" Mr. Schuyler had that look on his face, the unreadable one that Eliza didn't mind, not when it wasn't directed at her, but now it was and Eliza didn't know what to do. "So...you just don't like anyone. No marriage, no dating"

"Is that...is that okay, Dad?" Eliza's voice broke, and she started crying. She should never have done this.

"Well, this is...new."

"Oh. My. God."

That was Cortlandt. "Dad, it's not new. It's always been there, and now Eliza is sharing part of herself with you, and I swear to god, if you can't wrap your mind around this...I mean, it's not that hard. Yeah, the rest of us aren't straight, but you dealt with that fine. And I think we all know that the real abomination in this family is our names. Our names suck."

"Oh my God, Cortlandt," Peggy groaned.

"Yeah. Cortlandt. Rensselaer. What were you thinking?"

Their father let out a bark of laughter. "Well, now I don't have to worry about anyone breaking my little girl's heart."

"How was it, John?"

"It was good, Dad."

"Good! Did you dance with anyone?"

"I—"

Laurens choked on his words.

"I...yeah."

"Yeah? Who was she?"

"You wouldn't know her. Her dad's not in business."

Laurens thought that he might throw up.

"I love you, Dad!"

Eliza launched herself at her father, capturing him in a huge hug.

He hugged her tightly back. "I love you to, 'Liza. I'll always love you. I'm sorry...I'm sorry that you didn't...realize that. I love you. So much."

Eliza was sobbing. She could sense that her father's worldview was changing. Growing. And oh my God, she felt so lucky that this was her father, a kind person who could actually accept her, and thank God that her family was her family, and, "thank you, Daddy! I love you!"

"It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. I promise."

"Love you, Dad."

"Have a nice night, John," Laurens's father told him as Laurens went up the stairs to his room.

He hated himself. Laurens hated himself.

It was never going to be okay.