Dear whoever finds this

About a year ago I told my best friend I was in love with him. And no this wasn't just regular, shmegular gay falls for straight bestfriend love. He was actually Bi-sexual, which made it hurt more when he told me he didn't return my feelings.

I was head over heels for him, even his mother noticed. I would mention him too much or just blush easily at his name. It was terrible. My friend would have to tell me I was being very obvious about it.

I Thought i could live with it but I couldn't. When i finally thought it wasn't so bad, he was getting married. They were planning on having children in the future.

I am not a jealous type, but you try being in love with someone and all they talk about is another person. That other person was perfect, I couldn't hate him for loving her. She was always so fun to be around, she's like the life of the party. She's so beautiful, her personality plus looks are 10/10. It was pretty obvious why he didn't return my feelings while she was in the picture. Even when she wasn't there it was the same,

I am really happy for him, seeing him smile so brightly and lively makes my heart warm. Even if i never get to be that person who makes you smile like that.

Summer time came around and you asked me to speak at your wedding and I heard my heart break. You didn't notice and I don't blame you , I was a good actor when it came to hiding my feelings. I told you i would be more than happy to speak, it wasn't a lie but it wasn't the whole truth.

The wedding day came, you were so nervous and I gave you that talk. The "Everything will be fine" "You love each other" talk. At the point and time I needed a talk, I wanted to be told everything would be alright.

"When i spoke at your wedding i was holding back all my tears, But nobody noticed because they were all laughing at the jokes i was telling about our childhood. When it was all done i went for a walk around the hall y'all rented. As I walked I realized some things.

If you were happy I was happy

If you were healthy I was happy

If you were alright, I was happy.

So in the end I was happy that you were able to enjoy a happy and peaceful love story.

I moved from Miami a few months after the wedding. To the big apple, honestly it was the worst. Manhattan at night was colorful. Some days when i took the train there would be dancers, I thought they were going to break a few bones or something. I started going out more.

I met a girl, her name is Beatrix, she's like totally cool. Her and her partner took me to this LGBTQ+ club and it was AMAZING , the amount of man tiddies was crazy.

I never thought I was going to be happy again. But then I met Ryan. He's a cute fat fem boy. He had kinky hair, brown skin. Probably about 5'3. He was a fluffy ball of cuteness. I totally wanted to talk to him.

One night I was at the club and he was talking with some friends. I passed him my number and he passed it to his friend thinking it was for her. His friend gave me his number and I finally texted him.

We met up a few times and then I told him I wanted to go on a date and he said "I want to know about your love life while we are at it" . At first it seemed weird but at the end of the day, we were laughing our brains about people we've loved, i told him about you and he said he wanted to meet you

After about 6 more dates I asked him to be my boyfriend, while almost drowning in his backyard. I was over You. I moved one and lived. He brought up going back to Miami to visit. I thought it was a great idea.

We went on a road trip and that shit was LONNNNNNGGG AS HELL. we had to go to a hotel twice before getting there but it was fun and may i say....interesting

When we got there everything was the same, even after a year and some change. I took him to my favorite store ever and we shopped, alottttt but it was fine.

THEN we came to your house and i thought it was going to bring back memories but when you walked through the front door, i only saw my best friend. There were no butterflies in my stomach, well unless it was from Ryan. We hugged and you met Ryan. Talked him to death and I felt bad for him.

While we were eating dinner Your wife Chrissy took off her sweatshirt. There was a bump.

Now let me tell you if this was me a year ago I would be heartbroken. But all I felt now was happiness, "we want you to be the godfather" i cried my heart out when you said those words. I was going to be a godparent, Ryan was excited for me.

But soon after I left again. This time the four of us, as couples, kept in contact. Facetiming, texting, planning for surprising our lovers. It was all good and I felt happy.

Chrissy gave birth and 2 months later I got to meet her. I was surprised y'all came to New York. Life was good.

Proposed to Ryan and I got scared when he walked away but he came back with a ring and Chrissy called us Adorable.

I never would have thought that I would be preparing to go to an open school night for me and Ryan's son. We adopted a boy named Nelly, he got kicked out of his house for being more on the feminine side. His "father" thought he was gay but he isn't. He just likes feminine things. And even if he was gay that isn't a reason to kick someone out. 

I wrote this to get it out my system, i haven't talked about this in a while and I was happy to open up. I might forget about this shit by tomorrow but who cares

LOVE, JAMIE.

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This was just one shot I thought of for some reason. This isn't based on a true story or anything but it was good to write. Thanks for reading if anyone does read!!!! Leave a like and comment. “You” is Jamie talking about his best friend btw.