His lips. Their the only thing I think about when I see him. They look so soft, and always smell like licorice.Sometimes I dream about kissing them but it's only a dream. But it became a reality today. In front of everyone in school.

It was a normal Tuesday. Well the night before hadn't gone so well with Jax. We had a huge argument about a whole bunch of nothing. Well in my case it was a whole bunch of something. I was very angry. But was my own fault for not telling him my feelings in the first place. I should've. You know what they say, 'Should've, would've, could've.' That's how I felt when I found out that he was dating someone else. I lost my chance that I had for a good amount of years to tell him. But I was too scared and introverted at the time. Still kinda am.

As I was saying, it was a normal Tuesday. Rosilen was at my locker, twirling my hair making the ends curly. "I'm your personal curling iron." She would say.

I was taking out one of my many poetry books from my backpack and putting in my locker when Rosi said something and stopped messing with my hair. I had a feeling she was sooner or later. But not this early in the morning. 

"Mari, (one of my many nicknames) you look paler than usual." 

" Um, cause it's Fall and it's cold." I make a lame excuse.

She gives me a suspicious look, "We both know it's not because of the cold." And she's totally right. She always reads like an open book of poetry. It's really annoying at times.

I don't look or say anything to her making more oblivious that's there's something wrong and upsetting me. Then she pulls my hair really hard. Rosilen is the type that has a super friendly side then there's the thorny side of her that comes out.

"Ow!" I whine, "Okay me and Jax had a fight last night on the phone. I wanted answers I couldn't take it anymore!"

Rosilen let's go of my hair. I rearrange it back to the way it was before she tried to take it out its roots. I finally look at her and shes pissed. "...Marco. It's been two months. Why now?"

"Because it's different between us. We don't have normal conversations and we barely talk anymore. I miss the regular us." I'm going to start crying soon and she can see it. 

"You could've told me Coco. (another nickname) I wish I never told him." Her voice softens and she hugs me and I hug her back. 

When we release, she takes my hand and gently squeezes it. "I'm so sorry, I'd just thought you were over him. You had looked okay."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I should've but I kept it away from you." I apologize also. 

Marcus comes up to my locker. He's wearing: black overalls, a black shirt, and black checkered Vans. (that's a lot of black, I know. But it's out style.) Like Marcus and Rosilen and my other friends I'm a goth. 

A bisexual goth to be more specific. Marcus is gay, Rosilen is a lesbian, and my other friends claim to be straight. Jax is popular, not a goth, and is pan sexual.

He looks at our expressions and his face turns worried, "What I miss?"

'Jax and I had a fight over the phone." I twist my obsidian black ring on my right middle finger. 

Marcus gaps lightly and his eyes go wide, "Marcy are you okay?"

I think about saying that I'm fine but decided against it. "No, I'm not. I'm upset myself and him."

"That bastard. Do you want us to do something?"

I shake my head quickly, "No, I'll just talk it out with him. I can't stay mad forever."

"I can." Rosilen scoffs. Marcus rolls his eyes. 

"Of course you can. You held a grudge against me for three weeks because I lost your favorite boots."

"They were my favorite. You still haven't given me the rest of my money for them either." Rosilen crosses her arms.

Marcus reaches into his pocket and pulls out a twenty. "I just got it yesterday. I planned on making you wait longer but I might've spent it."

"Of course you would."

"Fuck you Rosi." Rosilen laughs and he smirks begrudgingly.

We head for the cafeteria where the goth table is. We have our own little corner where we hand out. It also has a huge LGBTQ+ support. 

As we sit down someone from the Rek table throws juice at Rosilen. Ruining her outfit.

"What. The. Fuck." Marcus gets up but Rosilen pulls him back down. 

"I can defend myself. Thanks though." She gets up, takes the empty juice box and goes to the Rek table. 

There is dead silence in the cafeteria besides the lunch ladies serving breakfast and preparing for today's lunch. "I believe this is yours. Thanks for the sweet shower."

One of them snickers, "Your totally welcome. You looked like you needed it." 

"I didn't but thanks." Rosilen turns and starts to walk away.

"Wow, that was pretty funny for a lesbian."

There is one thing most that Rosilen hates, and it being called out for something just because she likes girls. It get's her very pissed off and usually anyone who tiks her off never does it again. She makes sure of it too. 

Rosilen freezes and faces a girl with a half shaved head with red hair and several metal rings in her nose, lips, eyebrow, and probably her tongue too. 

"Rose. Rosilen don't do it." I tell her warily. 

She walks up to the girl and smiles. A flash of fear comes across her and Rosilen see's it. Like the moment she saw her smile she knew that she fucked with the wrong person. Rosi could do that to a person. 

"Your all bark and no bite." Rosilen leaves but before she could fully come back to the table the girl had a pair of shears. I don't know how, mostly likely the boy next to her passed them to her. The next was her cutting her hair and Rosilen slapping her afterwards leaving nail marks across one side of her face. 

Everyone in the lunchroom gaps in shock, horror, and surprise. No one moved or spoke.

"Don't ever fuck with me again Angee. Your just a bitch who had sex with her own brother. I'm not the slut.

"You touch me or my friends I will fucking stab you in your back. No hesitation."

Angee clutches her face with one hand and the shears with the other. There is complete fear in her eyes, but Rosi can do that to a person. 

Marcus gets up and goes to Rosilen. Ge glares at Angee. "Rosi, let's get some fresh air. I don't want you to get in more trouble."

"I don't care if I do but sure."

I follow them along with Emma and Ember. They're twins. Emma's a goth and Ember is kind of a prep. 

We go to the quad and Rosilen takes down her hair. It use to go to her ribs, now it's the top of her back and shoulders. "That bitch. My mom just did my hair today too." 

Were all silent digesting what happened in the cafe. Rosi is still pissed about her hair (who wouldn't though?), Ema is talking with her, Ember is on her phone and so is Marcus. All of a sudden his head snaps up and looks to his left. "Jax is here."

I lift my head to see his dirty-blonde hair and blue-green eyes. His eyes meet mine but I look away quickly. Rosilen gives me a sideways glance and I give an annoyed sigh. I ever so slowly walk over to Jax. 

"...I'm sorry about last night." I start.

"We broke up. Roxi and I broke up." Jax states.

I look straight into his face. Disbelief. Did I cause it? Did I mess up his relationship? He must be thing the same things because he says, "N-no it wasn't you. Roxi admitted that he was cheating."

Relief washes over me, "I'm sorry to hear that."

"I had a feeling he was. And I'm sorry also. You had questions and...I was being a huge douche bag."

I laugh, "You were. You totally were. But...I was too. I didn't have to be that angry and I could've acted more mature......I want things normal between us again."

"So do I." He smiles. I suddenly blush and I looked away before he can see it. We walk to Rosilen and the others.

"Whoa, what happened to your hair?! And why are you all wet?" He asks

"Go ask Angee Miller." Rosilen sneers. "Oh and her Rek friends."

Jax winces, "Yikes."

"You missed all the drama." Marcus says. 

"I had a lot of drama of my own. Roxi broke up with me." They all stare at him surprised.

"I think it wasn't mean to be."

Marcus snorts, "Ya think?" Then quickly glances at me. I glare back. He better not say anything. I swear if he does I will-

"That's pretty sad." Ember says with no ounce of sympathy.

Ember seemed to sense my disappointment in the beginning but I had denied it. I still don't know why I did. It was utterly stupid of me. Ember never believed me either. I was being guilty of ever liking Jax at the time. 

My wound was still fresh and salt was everywhere I went. Everyone was being really nice and it was making me even more emotional. Luckily my sibling are nice and my parents are supportive. If they weren't I think I'd always rely on my friends. Including Jax. 

"Marco? Are you even paying attention?" Ember snaps.

I shake my head to clear my thoughts and look at her, "Sorry Em." She just rolls her eyes. 

"She was asking you if your gonna go on the school fall field trip. The last time to sign up up for it is this Friday." Ema says.

The fall field trip was famous for the Halloween party after the trip. My older sister Queenie went and afterwards our twin ( her twin) brother saved her from losing her virginity that night. 

"Er, I don't know still. I heard a lot of bad shit happens on that trip." I say cringing at my sister's story. 

"You've had two months to think about it." Rosilen says.

"I had other things going on. I wasn't really worried about the trip Rose!" I snap. Everyone including Jax looks immediately guilty. It makes me feel nice, but  only for a second. I'm... I'll go. My parents won't care anyhow."

The school bell rings and I hurry to leaving the other behind.

"Coco wait." Jax only calls. He rarely calls me that. I feel special when he does, but it only makes me want to cry. I walk faster but he catches up easily even though I'm taller than him. (Only like four and a half inches mkay) He grabs my arm and drags me into the nearest boys bathroom so no one will over see or hear us. 

He wraps me into a hug and I cry into his chest. The tears I've holding back for two months are finally out. I start to slide down and he slides down with me. 

I thank god I didn't wear mascara today. We sit there for a few minutes before I'm calm enough to talk.

"Marco, I'm so sorry for everything. I'm more than sorry."

"I know. I know you are. Did you ever read my letter?" I sniff.

"Yeah I did, I read it many times. I still have it. 5th grade seems like a long time ago. That was six years ago. But I remember how frightened and hurt you looked that day."

* You'll learn more about Marco and Jax's past as you read the chapters. I know it might seem confusing to some of you at first, but it will become easier to understand in future chapter. :)* 

"Your hair was still gray and you only wore eye shadow, and you were wearing a black suit and tie, along with your favorite black boots. It was picture day."

"I remember it so clearly. Just like now, you cried in my arms."

I remember that day too. How could I ever forget it. It was the first time a friend had stood up for me and that's when I fell in love with you. I could never forget it.

I have an urge to hiss his lips but I don't. I feel ugly and face is covered in salty tears. Bu God, it's so hard not too. I detangle my arms from him and pull myself from the floor. I grab a paper towel from the dispenser and clean off my face.

"We should go to class. We're already late. I don't want to hear Mrs. Sheath's scratchy voice on high."

Jax chuckles. Before we walk out the bathroom I surprise him with a hug. He smells like licorice and Axe. I quickly breathe it in before letting go. 

We leave the bathroom and split ways to class. I quickly go to my locker and rush to class. When I do enter class everyone turns to look at me. I hurry to the back where I usually sit. 

"Mr. Lane your tardy." Mrs. Sheath's states.

"Late, Mrs Sheath's. I'm late."

"Your still not her on time today. I should give you detention"-I can feel a but coming-"but since I'm in a grateful mood I'll let it slip." 

I give a quick nod and take out my history book. Were on the story of the Pilgrims. During a quick write ( it's when we jot down what we think about the story or whatever.) someone hands me a note. This rarely happens. I look toward Mrs. Sheath. She's on the computer probably grading work. I unfold the note:

Hey Marco, I saw you head into the restroom with Jax. That doesn't looked good on popular ego. Maybe you shouldn't do these things in school and keep them private. Or maybe just STAY AWAY from him. 

-Anonymous  

I crumble the note and drop it on the floor. Who the fuck was this? It almost felt like black mail or close to it. I tear of a piece of paper and write back:

I really don't care, and I won't stay away because you can't make me. Fuck off.

-Marco 

I fold it and toss it in front of me. They pass it but I don't bother to try to see who it is. I go back to my work. At the end of class I walk slowly to my next class. That gives Marcus time to come up to me. I can already hear the questions before he speaks. 

"Rosi's in the office. That bitch snitched. Fucking whore has Rosi in trouble for something she didn't start." 

I didn't expect that. Rosilen being in the office meant her mom coming off from work and that usually ended up with a long talk with her mom. And that left Rosilen moody for awhile. 

"She certainly finished it. But there are witnesses. So she'll be fine."

"If she gets detention, she dead." Marcus warns.

"What do you mean?" I ask confused.

"There's a lot of Reks in detention and they will try to hurt her. No matter supervision. You know how Reks are loyal to the bone."

"Shit. Is there anything we can do?"

" I don't think so." He shakes his head sadly.

I twist my ring anxiously. I tell him about the weird note in class. He just waves that over like it's nothing. "That's other popular crowds trying to scare you. Don't worry about it."

'I guess," I mutter.

" What happened after the bell rang? I bot beat to the punch of chasing after you."

I give a long sigh and give a minute to respond. " I cried in his arms."

"What, what?!" Marcus does a double take and stops in the middle of the hallway but I pull him along. "Your telling me you guys had a sentimental moment in a empty restroom?"

"He apologized mostly. Then we talked about 5th grade. Well, no, I cried mostly, then he apologized, then we talked about 5th grade." I correct myself.

Marcus is too shocked to speak. His mouth is just opens and closes. I simply laugh. Even though it's not a laughing matter. But sometimes you've got to laugh through the pain. 

Marcus gasps coming back to his senses, "Omigod!"

I roll my eyes and Marcus just smiles. We walk to class together and take our seats for math.

"Bitch, your telling me every got damn detail during break." He whispers.

"Sure thing. Then you can tell me how you've acted toward Payton." I poke his nose teasingly.

"Deal." Marcus pokes my nose back, I can tell he's about to blush."Man it is really hot in here." He waves his face.

"Or is it Payton?" 

"Damn it Marco, stop it."

I laugh and he glares. Then Payton comes in the room. 

-TBC-